Hello, I have a different profile but felt more comfortable posting this under an anonymous name.

My DH and I have been having a rough time of it for well over a year now. In all honesty, things haven't been great for us for a long time since I found out about a year after we got married that he is an alcoholic. He's been recovered for almost a decade now but he never sought counseling, etc. to deal with any of the underlying issues. Essentially, I've long felt that I'm not with the man I married because the man I'm with now is constantly angry. He never feels "big" enough and he always feels like everyone is wronging him. I don't know what to do. I will admit, I am sure I am not handling his emotional needs as well as I could. I don't want this to at all come off like I have no part in things not going well. I know I undermine him at times and that makes him even more angry. I just sometimes get to a breaking point where I can't stand how he's treating me or especially our kids.

My question is, when do I demand couple's counseling? He has always refused when I've brought it up in the past but we were talking about divorce tonight. While there's part of me that's just done, I would like to know that I tried everything and to me that means counseling. I will say, I've done individual counseling but I can't fix our relationship on my own.

I would really love to hear from anyone who's had any experience with this. Thanks.