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What kind of support would you like? Meetings, groups, something along those lines?

eta: You're a great mom, you can email me if you want.

Im sorry you had such a hard time.. I personally don't have a problem with formula! My mom gave me formula during the day because she worked and nursed me at night. And I'm healthy!

F the judgey moms and looks you get. Breast feeding is great and all, but it's not going to determine your child's future.

I appluad you for being honesty/rant. Breast really isn't best for everyone and agree with pp, f the people who will judge you. They don't know your story or the reason you ff.

@zippylef: The pressure on us women to breastfeed pisses me off. There is a reason why I refuse to see a lactation consultant ever again, because I have only experienced critical judgment from them and I was done with feeling like a jackass. For example, one thought I was ridiculous for getting a pump.

Screw the judgmental people. You are giving your baby what he/she needs.

UHhh I haven't even had my baby yet but I remember the "every woman can breastfeed" comment and it had me FUMING. No actually, not every woman can breastfeed. Some women have complications that simply make it impossible and to suggest that is somehow their shortcoming is rude and hurtful. You are doing what's best for you and your baby. And she will be perfectly fine. My husband was formula fed... he graduated from a top university, played professional football, and now has a successful second career. So I'm pretty sure formula fed babies can turn out pretty darn awesome : )

@zippylef: that's just awful. I have several friends who didn't make more than an ounce of milk no matter what they did... and they tried everything... and they have told me that they feel exactly how you do when they feed their baby in public. I think that women who breastfeed really take pride in the fact that they can and do, and so they tend to be judgemental of those who don't. I definitely don't judge ANY mom on their choices on how to raise their baby, especially in a case like yours where you didn't have a choice. Those women can go eat worms because you are doing the best you can and you're doing a great job.

My mom actually never produced any milk at all (maybe she had a similar experience to you, because she did mention she had a d&c at some point), but never dealt with judgement because back when we were babies, formula was considered best. This is just another one of those trendy things that moms grab on to and shove down other peoples' throats.

Come to think of it, I had some placenta left in me as well and my recovery took a lot longer, and it took a little longer for my milk to come in. Wagon Jr. was screaming like crazy for an entire day and we took him to the doctor because we thought something was wrong... come to find out he had lost an entire pound and we were basically starving him because we refused to resort to formula because everyone told me my colostrum would be enough. Obviously it WASN'T!! I had fed him one bottle of formula before going to the doctor because my mommy intuition was telling me he was hungry... and I was right... so as soon as we got home we started in with the formula in earnest and he immediately became my angel baby again. I could kick myself a million times for starving him and letting him lose that much weight.

One of my friends didn't get her milk until day 10. Her doc told her not to worry-- one of her patients didn't get her milk until day 21! And obviously there are women out there whose milk never comes in. Props to you for your rant and know that the judgmental women out there can go screw themselves.

I feel the same way. I was asked to supplement because DS hadn't regained his birth weight at over a month old and I was DEVASTATED due to all the pressure to BF exclusively. I cried, heaving sobbing cried, for 24 hours straight over it - had a breakdown in Target when I went to buy formula and even the formula container said "experts agree breastfeeding is best" WTF!
My supply sucks. Always has. It's affected by every little thing, if I don't eat a ton of food, if I exercise more than I usually do, if I don't drink a gallon of water and I was taking domperidone. I have tried everything and it just doesn't cut it as far as DS's needs are concerned. I wish I could feed him his supplemented formula in public without being ashamed... "are you mom enough?" says Time magazine. Moms need more support, not all the judge-y crap out there.

I think that there is so much support of breastfeeding moms because so many women want to but have trouble doing so. Latching problems, tongue-tied babies, no milk coming in, flat nipples, mastitis, etc. are issues women might face and need support to continue through it to be successful breastfeeders.

I think that there might be a lack of support for formula-feeding moms because often it is deemed to be a choice a mother makes and lots of people "forget" that sometimes breastfeeding isn't for everyone.

ALL MOMS, new moms and experiences ones, need support - no matter what the issues at hand is. Have you talked to your OB about speaking to someone NOT affiliated with your hospital? It absolutely doesn't help to speak to someone so pro-breastfeeding when you are not doing so. You're doing what works best FOR YOU and you should not have to feel the way that you do. All babies are different, all moms are different, and you must do what you know will work.

Lastly, and it's not a huge deal, but I was a little offended by your choice of words when you wrote "...militant breastfeeding nazis." I totally understand you are upset (rightfully so!) but to women who DO breastfeed and choose to be advocates for breastfeeding, it comes off a little strong.

@Zippylef: You are not alone. I struggled with breastfeeding and felt like a complete failure when I had to supplement with formula because I couldn't pump enough after going back to work. It was hard to find support to help me understand that my decision to use formula was not harming my daughter. I agree that there is not entirely enough support for those who choose/or have to formula feed.

Mrs. Hide and Seek wrote a blog about her decision not to breastfeed and it really put into perspective for me how the whole "every woman can breastfeed" thing is such a marketing campaign as there are legitimate reasons why some women can't however you never hear about those.

@zippylef: yep it was back in February, I think

The pressure to breastfeed is so overwhelming. When we had to supplement with formula because my baby wasn't gaining weight, I was devastated. Sobbing. Ridiculous. Why did I feel bad about giving my baby the nourishment she needed? Because it didn't come out of my boob? Fortunately, my mom and my SIL, who both formula fed their children, talked some sense into me and were so supportive. You're right - we make ourselves feel bad enough about using formula that we certainly don't need anyone else giving us a hard time about it, and having someone to cheer you on with a newborn is so important regardless of what the baby eats. You're doing a great job! Your baby is healthy and growing. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about doing what is best for your baby!

@zippylef: I'm sorry that you've have such judgment thrown at you. I had the same experience with an infection (they found no placenta remnants though) and I had to be rushed to the ER, too. This put a huge, unforeseen hurdle in my plans to breastfeed as well. Breastfeeding is hard enough without such a massive health complication pp dontcha think? Anyway, I definitely want to offer you my support and some perspective from someone who now has a 2 year old that was fed a lot of formula. It was very devastating to stop breastfeeding my infant but now I don't even sweat it because she is 2 and I have seen that she is HEALTHY, HAPPY, and SO SMART!!!

You're doing a great job and try to ignore the haters. Contact me anytime if you want someone to talk to!!

Oh honey!!!
My LO's aren't really "little" anymore. But, let me tell you, when I wasn't able to breastfeed my first one it was like I had committed a sin.
I had preclampsia and was on so much meds that I couldn't BF. I didn't "choose" to formula feed initially.
With my second one, I DID choose to Formula Feed.
I never had any desire to BF really. I just didn't. It wasn't "natural" to me.
Let me tell you one thing for certain though, my children are not any less healthy or intelligent because they were FF. They weren't sick more, they weren't behind on milestones. Hell my youngest is gifted. The one we are currently TTC will be FF because I want to. Simple as that.
Do NOT allow anyone to tell you what you are doing is wrong. You are a great mother and FF doesn't change that.
If you want/need to talk please feel free to message me. I'd be glad to help.

Amen! I tried and tried with my LO, to the point of pumping an entire month, missing time with her trying to make milk come, wasting time I could have spent with her, hearing my SO say maybe I was doing something wrong (not in a horrible way, but post birth, hormones are raging) and then the people in life with the I breastfedSO easy. Argh.

Ironically, the lactation consultant was very nice.LOL Didn't expect that.

My LO is 9 months now and formula fed and happy. And she has definitely bonded with me! Don't let anyone make you feel like less of a mom. Most of our generation was formula fed.

@blushink: Yes! That article in The Atlantic is great. I was actually just thinking about posting a link to it but you beat me to it!

I had been thinking about switching to formula a couple months ago and I found that article so empowering.

I'm here and bottle feeding with you! I feel like @Honeybee and I have created our very own support group right here.

The worst is when you whip out a bottle in public and all these moms give you dirty looks! Of course if you whip out the boob in public you get dirty looks too!

As my dad always says, "You can't win for losing"!

I wasn't breastfed because my mom was so busy working and my grandma was the same way, they just didn't have the time to breastfeed and we all turned out just fine! I have had multiple friends who were unable to breastfeed and that's that! If you aren't able to or you just don't want to nobody should judge you, it's YOUR baby and YOUR choice!