A thread yesterday got me thinking, what kind of treatments would you consider?
A thread yesterday got me thinking, what kind of treatments would you consider?
87 votes
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
I voted whatever it took. DH and I are both willing to do whatever it takes to get pregnant.
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
I chose whatever it took as we did IVF already but I don't think I could use donor eggs or donor sperm.
pear / 1998 posts
We are planning to have both biological children and to adopt. If I had trouble conceiving, we would not pursue any treatment and just move to adoption right away.
pomelo / 5129 posts
I'm an other. DH and I are willing to go as far as NaPro technology, but not as far as IUI/IVF.
We'll do what we can to solve any issues that are discovered, but that's as far.
persimmon / 1388 posts
Ack, tough question. If money was no object, I'd like to think we'd try IUI/IVF (only w/ our "stuff," we wouldn't even entertain donor eggs/sperm). Since money IS an issue, I'm not sure. I can't wrap my head around shelling out $$$ for IUI/IVF w/ all the student loan debt I have. Not at this point in our lives, at least
pomegranate / 3809 posts
Whatever it takes that involved my eggs and my husbands sperm. We are not interested in donor anything. We both have admittedly have a (selfish?) desire only for bio children.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
It took time (financial stability) to work up to IVF. When we first started seeing an RE, money was tight, so IUI was all we thought we could afford. If they didn't work, I was actually leaning towards adoption and not IVF. Like I said, this was decided because of money. We figure if we had to spend a lot of money ($10k or more), adoption would be better. We were thinking that it would have a better chance at being able to take a child home. Versus IVF can fail. Plus, I was still new to using fertility intervention. Having to wait this long really changes your view on what you are willing try and give up to get there.
So we were on this possible adoption route for a good year. But, I could tell the DH wasn't completely sold on it. If we did it, we would want to see if we could adopt a Vietnamese child. Even if, we could adopt from VN (we can't at the moment because of adoption laws between VN and US), the adoption would cost us about $30k. Which sounded like a ton of money back then.
Anyway, I could tell the DH really wanted to have a child that was biological his. He told me he was okay with adoption but the subtle things he said showed that he would be more happy if the child was biologically his. (Adoption is still an alternative, if IVF doesn't work.)
Anyway, our financially situation has changed for the better and affording the $10k+ for IVF is more manageable now. And that's where we are.
persimmon / 1388 posts
@bluestriped bee: I think you make an excellent point, "Having to wait this long really changes your view on what you are willing try and give up to get there." This hesitation makes me reluctant to rule out any interventions.
nectarine / 2765 posts
I voted whatever it took since it took IVF to get our twins. Because we didn't get to that point, I'm not sure how we would have felt about donor sperm/egg. Most likely we would have adopted or if finances still allowed, looked into surrogacy.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
Before we started TTC, I didn't think I would go as far as IVF. I guess I just felt like if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. After TTC for 6+ months and discovering that I have serious fertility issues, I would have done IVF in a heartbeat. We were prepping to go that route when I got pregnant with DD. Given the specifics of my diagnosis, I would not do an IUI - it would just be a waste of time and money in our situation.
Now that we are TTC #2, I'm really not sure how far we will go. DH doesn't want to discuss it until we have been trying for a bit longer, although I think he'd want to go the IVF route if we found ourselves in that position. I'm not sure about me - I'd have another lap, but I am conflicted over whether to spend the money on IVF when we already have a child.
nectarine / 2433 posts
It has changed over time but we will go as far as IVF, however I don't think we would consider donor sperm/eggs. If IVF doesn't work we would re-evaluated and look into adoption.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
*Before we had E* I would have pursued IVF, but not donor eggs/sperm. Now, having a child, I think we might go as far as IUI, but the urge to have a child isn't nearly as strong for us now.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Everything but donor eggs and sperm. I could get pregnant easily with IUI and donor sperm, but it's not something we want to do.
I have considered embryo adoption. It might be an option for us if this last FET isn't successful.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
For our first baby anything.
For subsequent children maybe anything. Definitely at least IUI.
honeydew / 7667 posts
Since we have a LO, probably only IUI and nothing further. Before LO we might have tried IVF once or twice.
grapefruit / 4110 posts
We did ivf. We are contemplating donor sperm. If things were reversed we would probably investigate donor egg. And we are also contemplating adoption. So whatever it took depending on the cost. Which is truly the biggest concern.
honeydew / 7916 posts
I voted "whatever it took" because we did TI/IUI/IVF, although in reverse order as we slowly gave up. Before TTC I would never have imagined doing IVF but a few months in both a urologist and RE told us we couldn't have a baby without it, so we thought we didn't have a choice. The topic of donor egg did come up but we felt either both or neither of us had to be biological parents. I'm sure there are couples who could work that out but given my childhood without a mom, it would have brought up too many issues.
ETA: Another obstacle to having an egg donor was ethnicity - there are soooo few Asian egg donors out there. And when I looked at embryo adoption, it was virtually impossible to find embryos from interracial couples like us.
bananas / 9899 posts
I would have done IUI and IVF, but we wouldn't have pursued donor eggs/sperm. We may have done donor embryos though.
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
@winniebee: good point. I would not go through IVF again for a second baby. We have 7 frozen embryos and hopefully one of those will give us another LO.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
@swedishfish: Funny enough, we are considering IVF for LO #2. I think having LO #1 changed my feelings about how far I would go to provide a sibling to LO. I like seeing all the different responses.
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
@littlek: my RE told me I would not be good advertising for IVF. He told me if none of the embryos take then I could do it again and I said no thanks, not going there again. It really wasn't bad. I'm not a needles person and I got used to them. I did it once and once is enough.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
@swedishfish: Would you consider natural cycle IVF? Not sure what your history is, so I don't know if that would be a good option, but I am curious about since no one seems to talk about it much.
grapefruit / 4703 posts
@septca: for me, having gone through IVF twice now, I don't think I'd do a natural cycle, mainly because of how daunting the egg retrieval is, and how many embryos don't make it to the end. I think the odds would be high that you'd go through the whole process and then have nothing to transfer. Maybe I just don't know enough about it...
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
@septca: my cycles are so irregular (I think - I haven't gotten my period yet after the miscarriage). My RE did say in October that I could do a natural cycle FET if my periods straighten out. I'm meeting with him in early April so I hope I get my period before then to even see if I can have a normal cycle.
pomelo / 5000 posts
We haven't seriously discussed IVF, but I think we would pursue it. We're probably 2-3 more cycles away from having to decide whether we'll pursue IVF or move on to adoption.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3688 posts
@Shutterbug: No, I think that makes a lot of sense. With NCIVF you are literally putting all your eggs in one basket because you would likely only get one egg at retrieval. I think the idea is that it might be worth trying (no drugs, a lot less expensive) for someone like me who only has blockage issues (versus egg or sperm quality issues). But I don't know if the odds of success would be worth spending the money to try v. just doing standard IVF.
bananas / 9229 posts
We would go as "far" as IVF but I don't think we would consider donor eggs or sperm. If that didn't work, we would adopt.
pear / 1697 posts
I think the timing/frequency of medical appointment would be the ultimate decider for me. Sweetie and I don't have a ton of money to pursue interventions, but, I think my job's inflexibility would be more of an issue. I have to ask for any time off at least 6 weeks in advance, and I'm expected to get any healthcare that's not related to an acute illness on my days off (or schedule for it 6+ weeks in advance). So, I don't think I could pursue most treatments while staying employed.
pomegranate / 3809 posts
@lilyofthewest: oh my goodness! 6 weeks in advance? Even for just a quick morning appointment? wow, Do you mind my asking what you do?
pear / 1697 posts
I'm a nurse. Which you'd think would mean my employer would be flexible about us getting needed healthcare...but...not so much.
On the plus side, I don't have it as bad as some nurses when it comes to acute illness. Some hospitals around here require you to report to work when sick, get assessed there, and they decide whether you are too sick to work and send you home (or not). I just have to call in at least 2 hours before I'm supposed to report.
coconut / 8472 posts
At this point, I'm not really sure what I would do. Before having D, I would have done IVF, but not used donor eggs or sperm. I don't think. But now that I have a child, I'm not sure how much fertility treatments I'd put myself through again. On one hand, I have fertility coverage (yay, Mass!). On the other hand, I have a child and I'm not sure how much I want to put myself through to have another, vs going the adoption route.
cantaloupe / 6885 posts
For LO1 , I would have done IVF then adopted if that didn't work on the first or second try. I wouldn't have used donor sperm or eggs.
Now that we have one child I don't think I would pursue IVF in the future . Maybe IUI if we had trouble conceiving #2 but if that didn't work we would likely be one and done
apricot / 288 posts
I voted whatever it takes, though I'd like to add within financial attainability like some have said. We actually did consider sperm donor before iui #1 because DH's sperm seemed hopeless, so if it turns out later there are abnormalities or something along those lines, we would take that route vs taking the time off to save for ivf
honeydew / 7968 posts
I said whatever it took cuz we did ivf, but we wouldn't've done donor, would have just adopted. Because we had twins, I wouldn't have done anymore treatments. We got lucky w thus third. But if we had a singleton, we would prolly have done a frozen.
honeydew / 7295 posts
I personally am in the whatever it took category but my husband is not willing to go the route of IVF financially at this point which i understand and not willing to adopt so there you have it. I hope we won't have to get there.
honeydew / 7909 posts
@lilyofthewest: oh man, I'm a nurse too but my coworkers would switch if they knew why I needed off. 6 weeks notice doesn't seem realistic.
We would probably only go as far as doing TI - maaaaaybe IUI but that's it.
pear / 1697 posts
@Ash: Yeah, I work in a doc's office/clinic setting -- which is to say I don't really have enough coworkers to switch with. Any day I'm off requires switching schedules around or canceling patients. But, fingers crossed, I won't need infertility interventions!
grapefruit / 4278 posts
I think I would have gone as far as ivf for a first child, but we probably wouldn't go further than iui for a second.
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
After 2 years of TTC, we were going to move to monitored cycles with Clomid. We would have discussed IUI, but it probably wouldn't have increased our chances by much. But that's it.
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