I haven't told anyone we are ttc, which I am thankful for because its taking a lot longer than I thought. DH told his brother, which I understand he may like to talk to someone but I'm not keen on when his brother asks "how we are getting on?"
Also when prople ask if we are planning kids (gahhhd stop asking this, just because we got married a while ago!) that we are not thinking about it yet, just to avoid the question.
Does anyone know you are ttc?
What do you say to anyone who asks if you are?
Who all knows you are ttc apart from on here? Do you have someone to go through this with?
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We didn't tell anyone we were TTC and I was glad for it, but at the same time I did have frustrating times like yours. I really think it should be considered inappropriate to ask a couple about kids. You just never know what is going on. I think too many make the assumption that TTC is easy for everyone.
I would just act nonchalant and say something along the lines of "no idea" when people asked if we were going to have kids soon.
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We haven't officially started yet, but so far only my BFF, paternal grandmother and DH's cousin/best friend know that I'm off the pill and we're going to start trying this new year; next cycle to be exact!
Luckily, we haven't been asked a lot. More so our parents are being asked by friends and family. They're all pretty good at skirting it, "hellonheels is still young!" "you know the lastname's take forever to get anything done!" If someone does ask I do the same as you and say we're no where near having kids.It's a fact of life and inevitable that people are going to ask when the next big milestone is coming for you. For me, I've just had to accept it and make sure people know I'm not about to discuss my personal decisions with them.
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We didn't tell anyone we were TTC with #1, and probably don't plan to with #2 either. I know we're all adults and have sex all the time, but I get weird feelings knowing people know we're having sex to try and conceive a baby. Plus, I don't want badgering comments month after month should it take us awhile to conceive.
With #1, I told people we were thinking about TTC a year later than we actually were so that warded off some comments.
We want #2 fairly close in age with #1 (like TTC when #1 is a year?) so maybe the closeness in age won't induce questions until we've already conceived and announced? If questions do come up, I'll probably fake a year like I did with #1.
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We have told a few closee friends, one of which ttc, just had a mc, the other are going to start in a few years. None of our family knows.
I get asked constantly. I skirt the issue and defer to dogs. I like dogs. It is annoying. My bro and sil can get pregnant by just thinking about it, we are on cycle 4 now. arg. -
Our family and close friends know. We opened up to them after finding out we are dealing with infertility. We need the support of our loved ones to get through!
Before we knew and were just TTC the regular way I would tell people we would like to have kids one day, just not yet.
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when we were ttc DS, our family and close friends knew we were ttc, but no one really asked prodding questions about it.
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I told my BFF at the beginning (almost 2 years ago) and then I told my mom last month because we're doing IVF this month and I wanted her to know. I'm glad I haven't told anyone else though. We've been married 4.5 years so we get the questions a lot - I usually just say "not yet" and leave it at that.
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When we started TTC for #1, we told no one. I also have friends going through infertility and knew it could potentially be a while before we conceived, so I didn't want people constantly asking about our unprotected sex life. People ended up constantly asking us if we were trying, what our timeline was and if I was pregnant. It was annoying
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At first I only told my best friend who lives quite far away (and doesn't really talk to other friends). When it started taking a while, I told 2 other close friends in person because I was frustrated and I needed to talk. After 2 losses, we told our immediate families and a few other close friends, I was tired of keeping the secret.
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No one knows but us two!
Though plenty of people ask us about it, ugh.
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DH's parents/sister know, my family does not, and a couple friends do. Luckily not many people have been asking us directly about our plans, so that helps. Instead I sit quietly when things annoy or frustrate me!
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I told my two BFFs when we were TTC with #1. They were really supportive and not too intrusive about it. This time around, I won't be telling anyone. I just want to be able to surprise people with #2! Plus I feel like I don't need the support of my BFFs anymore while trying.
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Not a single soul. Just you guys! Everyone thinks i hate kids so they dont really ask!
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@Mrs tartan: My mom, mother-in-law and my closest friend (who has two babies) all know. I don't think DH has told anyone. But, I just can't live in a bubble, especially when I'm having a hard time.
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He hasn't told anyone. I've told a potential business partner (so he didn't have any illusion that I was planning a childfree life / 80 hour weeks) and some close girlfriends know I've thought about it.
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I initially told my mom, sister, and 2 friends. After a while I told a few other close friends. I just couldn't get through ttc without occasionally needing to talk to someone. I'm comfortable with that decision and never had anyone say anything unintentionally insensitive (though I know for many people that is not the case). DH didn't tell anyone.
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@dc yoga bee: haha I find this funny as everyone thinks I don't like kids either, I don't argue with this as it stops those people asking!
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We haven't told anyone, and I'd like to keep it that way. Hubs might tell his brother though, but I hope not as I don't really want SIL to know (doubt she could keep it to herself). We never really have to avoid the issue though as like @dc yoga bee: no one really asks us. Everyone in our family knows the arguements hubs and I have had re having kids so no one brings it up anymore for fear of ruining what ever gathering we are at at the time.
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Basically all of my close friends know I am TTC. DH's close friends know. And my mom and sister know. I haven't told DH's family but I think his mom suspects we are. It was so fun to talk about at the first and second months of TTC. But now at 8 months TTC, I just want to tell people to STFU.
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@MrsMcD: I agree, I told some close friends and my mum but now we are having trouble I wish I,d only told my mum as she is the only one who actually as anything useful to say!
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We haven't told anyone and I'm kind of glad because it's taking longer than expected. I was worried that it might and thought that it might make me feel more pressure if I knew other people were waiting and wondering. It's gotten harder to not talk about it though so I'm so glad to have the community here to talk to.
I'm sort of lucky in that I have a good excuse to give people when they ask when we are going to have children. I'm in school so I have told everyone that we waiting until I'm close to finishing.
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@MrsMcD: Ugh! That was totally my worry! Sorry to hear that you're going through it
We're at month #9 so I know how you feel. Hang in there!
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I told one friend the first month, and another at the end of month 5. I'm glad that I have them to talk to. Like others have posted above, if we ever get to the point where there is a diagnosis of a problem, etc. we will share with our family's then.
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@Mrs. Chickadee: after the struggles we've had, I'm glad I didn't share either. I do sometimes wish I could have some people to lean on, but far as I know, no one around me has struggled.
I am so thankful for this community!
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@Crystal: same here - everyone I know has said that they got pregnant on the first or second try. Sometimes I really want to tell someone but then later I'm always glad that I didn't. This sounds kind of weird, but I don't want any extra disappointment. I feel so sad every time I see the BFN. I don't want to then have to tell my friends or mother and have them feel bad too. I don't want them to feel let down, you know? So thank goodness we have everyone here!
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I wish that I had someone I could talk to about it more. My closest friends are work friends and many of us want to have babies soon. However, because of the nature of our job, being out from work will have some huge implications so I don't want anyone knowing until I'm actually pregnant...and since it could take a while, I really have to stay mum. And overall I just hate to tell people, because I don't know how soon it will be! I wish I was more optimistic, then I probably wouldn't mind sharing...
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My very best friend from high school is the only one who knows, but she's been amazingly supportive about all of my freak outs.
Also, funnily enough, my husband's 87 year-old grandfather knows, but it was more of a misunderstanding (I didn't want to outright LIE to him when he assumed we were actively trying to have kids, and he was actually very sweet about it - said something like, "Oh sweetheart, the best things in life are worth waiting for.")
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Just all you bees! Oh, and my DH knows
When people ask I normally just respond with a cheery "someday!" and DH normally implies that it's not happening anytime soon. -
Two girls at work know - one who has been ttcing for the same amount of time as me but went through a terrible loss with her first baby. and my BFF. and my sister only knows because she wouldn't shut up one day and I told her to get her to stfu. lol
When people ask I just say I don't know if we're having kids.
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@raspberries: his grandad sounds lovely.
What is weirdis that whenever someone who doesn't know asks us it's like we have this whole worked out charade of me going 'oh not quite yet I want to finish my masters' DH putting on a horrified exresion behind me as if the idea of babies is terrifying, and then us both saying 'no not at the moment, one day but there's no rush'...
...Then getting home and having timed ovulation sex hahaha -
p.s. I totally regret telling my sister. I've told her since that I'm considering going back on BC because nothing is working. I really really wish I hadn't told her.
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@sapphire: we're hear to talk with you!
@babycanuck: boo to your sister. Sorry, friend.
@Mrs. Chickadee: I totally understand what you are saying! The momentary relief I'd get telling someone in no way would outweigh the disappointment from continually getting BFNs and having to share that.
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@babycanuck: I say do it if it helps you, I'm going to tell certain people that now too.
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@Snowdrop: this is funny, I love the thought of your routine. My DH always pulls the "hell no" face but is probably even more eager than me for a baby
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@Snowdrop: LMAO!!!! I'm laughing at my desk. That is awesome.
We're at month #9 so I know how you feel. Hang in there!
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