Did you tell everyone right off the bat, or only as it came up/they needed to know?
Did you tell everyone right off the bat, or only as it came up/they needed to know?
40 votes
pomegranate / 3105 posts
I've only recently told a couple of people. My parents, my MIL, my bff and my cousin who went through IF. Besides that no one else knows.
kiwi / 673 posts
I picked DH and one other person, but it's actually two. I wouldn't really call my best friend and my mother a small circle.
cherry / 203 posts
Only my husband. After two failed pregnancies and family and friends saying we shouldn't put ourselves through the stress again. I lost a lot of blood and needed a blood transfusion during my last d&c that it freaked everyone out. My DH and I really wanted to add to our family so we decided that we would keep it between us and wait until we have a bun in the oven and are in the save zone.
persimmon / 1259 posts
We have been TTC for about 22 months, so at this point, we've been open about it with people we are close to.
grapefruit / 4028 posts
I'm confused how it would be a need to know for anyone other than your partner?
It was only DH and I who knew for the first year-ish (aside from HB ️). Now that we are battling IF, our parents know so they can protect us from prying comments and because of the medical implications.
pear / 1614 posts
First time around, we tried for 18 mos, and initially didn't tell anyone but towards the end had mentioned it to a couple of friends that had taken a while to conceive.
This time (#3) - we are only on month 2 and not really hard core yet but I feel more comfortable mentioning it to friends.
pomegranate / 3809 posts
Ttc 27 months now but only two of my friends know. I'm pretty private about it. I think i would be OK with being more open after we give up or are successful, but during this process I just want to keep to myself.
persimmon / 1196 posts
@Crystal, I guess when I said "need to know" I was thinking of when you needed/wanted them to know (i.e. like when you decided to tell your parents so that they could be on your side during IF). My DH and I have kept it to ourselves, but if we end up going down the IF treatment path, I can foresee eventually needing to tell at least my mom, as the scope of the lies I'd have to tell to cover it up would be untenable.
I have friends and family members who have been so open about the moment they've started trying (and asked such blunt questions about our plans) that I started to feel like a real oddball wanting to keep it so private. It's very important to me, though.
pomegranate / 3764 posts
We were pretty open with our infertility for round 1, so people know. Especially after our miscarriages this year, and still no pregnancy... so yep, open book.
pomelo / 5607 posts
With my first pregnancy only my best friend knew. After my m/c, I was blogging so people knew we'd be trying again soon. With this one we set a planned time to start again, but actually started a month early (and were successful) so no one knew. My mom was really surprised when we told her I was pregnant before we were even planning to try.
persimmon / 1404 posts
When we were TTC we told a few close friends but that was it. Now that we have decided to be childfree, we tell people that we are remaining CF but we don't mention out TTC history.
cantaloupe / 6634 posts
DH (of course,) my sister and best friend knew. More people knew after our miscarriage because it was obvious that we were trying to expand our family.
pomegranate / 3411 posts
I chose other. Two good friends of mine are on HB so they know :). I've mentioned it casually to a couple of friends/acquaintances because it came up in conversation and they knew I would be planning to TTC at some point in near future. I just made a suggestive comment to my mom about having a baby by next Xmas. Other than that I have purposely not mentioned it to my other close friends and definitely not any coworkers.
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