I'm starting to worry about delivering my second early. We don't have family nearby and no nanny or regular babysitter. My mom is planning to come and stay with us when I'm 36 weeks, but what if I go into labor earlier than that? The only solution I can think of is delivering the baby alone, without Wagon Sr., since he'll be taking care of Wagon Jr. I guess he can go back and forth if it's a daycare day, but if it's at night or a weekend I just can't figure out who we could leave Wagon Jr. With...
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With M we had my parents come to town. Our backup plan if M was delivered early was to have neighbors watch Lala during the day and then one of us go home at night. In your case, that couldn't exactly be you! If you had a clue that you were going to deliver preterm, you'd probably have some warning, so it might give your family time to get there:). It's nerve-wracking though, isn't it?
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I would have to ask some friends that live nearby. Is that an option?
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The minute I got my BFP with 2.0, this is what I worried about!! We asked a few people to be "on call" from 36+ weeks on. I asked them when I was about 32 weeks along. One was my cousin who lived an hour away. The other was my LO's preschool teacher
She lived in the same building as us and if I went into labor after school or on the weekend, she was prepared to watch LO. I also asked another preschool teacher recommended by LO's teacher to be a back-up person too. If all of those options weren't feasible, our plan was to have DH just stay with her and I'd be in labor and deliver with our doula present. It's one of the main reasons we got a doula that time around. My mom didn't plan on coming in til after the baby was born due to her work schedule.
All worked out perfectly though... DH had to leave me for just 20 mins to pick up DD from school while I was in active labor, but luckily my doula had JUST arrived so I wasn't alone. My cousin also was able to step in the minute they came back from school and I needed to get to the hospital.
Second babies can come pretty quickly after the onset of labor (mine came in 6 hrs from start to finish), so try to get some people on board who aren't too far away! How about parents of your LO's friends/classmates? It could be like a playdate for your LO! We prepped DD and told her she might have a sleepover with my cousin, which she looked forward to.
I know it can be tough, esp with no family around, but hope it all works out for the best!
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Do you have any friends you could call? If they have kids, could you drop Wagon Jr. off with one of those friends if that happens? Maybe Wagon Sr. could drop you off at the hospital, take Wagon Jr. somewhere and then come back?
Are things looking like you may go early? You doing okay?
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my mom hopped on a plane when i went into labor with olive. she watched charlie while i was in the hospital, but when i went into labor, our babysitter watched charlie for the night. then mr bee went back and forth from the hospital while I was there with olive.
do you have a friend that can come watch rj?
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My plan (for the very far future) is always to have multiple options. That's what we did with my dog in case someone couldn't make it. My parents and dhs live here, but I'm assuming they will want to be at the hospital too. Ill probably ask my brother and sil and a family friend, or dhs cousin.
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My sister's coming on 12/15, so hopefully the baby'll stay put until her/his due date! If the baby arrives earlier we'll either have Dh's aunt stay with our LO or DH will stay with her.
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Thanks everyone!! I'm really hoping that I won't go any earlier than the 5th, which is when my mom is arriving (my original due date was the 26th, and I'll be induced on the 19th at the latest) since that's so early for the baby to be born. But I've been talking to a lot of moms lately who delivered before 36 weeks and I hate not having a plan in place.
@Mrs. Jacks: yes!! I hate not knowing! But my weekly appointments start soon so hopefully I will have plenty of warning
@Andrea: We have some friends nearby, but no one who is experienced taking care of a kid overnight (bedtime, crying for mom, etc).
@NYCaliMama: thanks!!! I'm very worried about that kind of 6 hour labor (which would be GREAT for me, but pretty much guarantees Wagon Sr. missing the birth unless it happens in the middle of the night!)
@mediagirl: that's a good idea, dropping him off with someone with kids... although I'm worried he'd do worse at someone else's house since he hasn't spent any time away from us away from home yet. And nope, no signs of going early, just worried!!
@Mrs. Bee: definitely an option to call my parents to tell them to get IN THE CAR and start driving when I go into labor... but they are 6 hours away without traffic.
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@mrs. wagon: yup i delivered at 35 weeks, and then my friend who was due a couple weeks after me went into labor early too. had i not gone into labor early, she wouldn't have been so prepared because i scared her!
you could hire a doula but that might be costly. they would be on call 24/7 though.
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@mrs. wagon: dang, I didn't know that so many people delivered that early. Good thing you're putting a plan into place then. That is a bummer that you don't have friends with kids? Luckily, we have a few with 2 year olds of their own so they would know the drill. There is no way I could convince my mom to come 4-5 weeks early.
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what about finding a babysitter with open availability (for nights/weekends) that would be willing to be on-call? Post your search to sittercity or care.com and start interviewing now!
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@Andrea: I know... I just visited with one of Wagon Sr.'s college friends who delivered her daughters at 34 weeks and 36 weeks. yikes!
@Coco Bee: I'm thinking of asking around Wagon Jr.'s daycare to see if anyone would be willing to be on call... since he's familiar with them, I think that would be ideal since they are with him when he eats and naps and such.
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Our closest family is 5 hours away and besides going to daycare, DD has only been babysat like twice in her whole life. Since we don't have someone that regularly takes care of her, our plan was to call my mom as soon as we were admitted to the hospital so she could make the 5 hour drive up here to take care of DD. In the meantime, DD would stay at daycare (if it was during a weekday) or our best friends would come over to watch her at our house (if it was a night/weekend) until my mom arrived. DD has spent a lot of time around our friends, but they don't know her schedule or routine, so I wrote up a one page reference sheet with her nap/meal/bed times and a summary of her nap and bedtime routines.
I ended up going into labor while at work; our friends picked DD up from daycare, and DH left the hospital at 7 pm to go put her to bed. My mom got here at about midnight, and relieved our friends, who were camping out at our house. DS ended up having jaundice, so we had to stay a few extra days in the hospital. During that time, DH went home every night to put DD to bed, and went home every morning before she woke up; DD would spend half a day at the hospital with us, and then go home with my mom to eat lunch/nap/play the rest of the day.
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@MrsWagon-good idea about asking at daycare, several of the teachers at our daycare are available for babysitting after hours.
@HoneyBee-great ideas for a plan
This is a concern of mine as well. My parents will come stay with DD when I have #2 but they live almost 4 hrs away, and I'm concerned about them getting here in time; according to my L/D nurse my labor with DD was only about 5 hrs and they say that second babies come faster. However, we have a couple different options 1) we are looking to transition DD from a daycare setting to a nanny so I'm hopeful that the nanny will be willing to keep DD until my parents arrive, 2) we have several friends with and without kids who DD is comfortable enough with that we could probably find someone to watch her until my parents get here, or 3) like DD I would need to be induced and the delivery would be scheduled allowing my parents plenty of time to get here.
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We're lucky that my in-laws live only 15 minutes away. They're supposed to watch our first when we're in the hospital for the second. I probably would have to have one of my friends watch her otherwise.
She lived in the same building as us and if I went into labor after school or on the weekend, she was prepared to watch LO. I also asked another preschool teacher recommended by LO's teacher to be a back-up person too. Reply
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