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Not sure. We really would like them to continue to grow up here, but they would probably go to my parents.

We've talked about it but have yet to ask the couple, they are friends of ours.
I would like my parents to be his guardian but in case they are in poor health, etc. we want to ask our friends.
My brother and his wife, though nice people, are out of the question because my brother has a daughter (with someone else) that he doesn't see because he doesn't 'man up' to responsibility, ever, and I cannot be okay in mind heart and mind leaving DS to be brought up by them should something happen to us.

We've decided my SIL will get the kids if we passed. We wanted the kids to stay with family members, but not with our parents, since both sets are older and semi-retired; it seemed like a big burden (physicially, financially, etc...) to place on them. We looked at our siblings, but we agreed that most of our sisters wouldn't be good gaurdians because they're not well-established enough or not responsible enough. We chose my SIL because a) she is unmarried without kids, so we don't feel like our kids will be a burden (and she agrees), b) she's well-established in her career, done with school, well-paid, owns her own house, etc..., and c) we know she will keep contact with both sides of the family.

My sister and her husband would get our LO. We wouldn't leave her to our parents since they are all in their 60s, and DH has no siblings. My brother could be a second choice down the road, but right now he's single and not very responsible, so it was very easy to settle on my sister and her husband. She jokes they have everyone fooled into thinking they would be great parents, since her SIL would also leave their kids to them.

We have discussed it but haven't taken any action yet (no will.....we need to do this). I feel like my parents are the logical choice and probably most stable financially but I don't want to offend my mother in law. She is great, too, but she is widowed and most of her $$ is in investments. Our parents are in their 60s, healthy, and have plenty of money to take care of him should something happen. There is also the option of my sister and BIL, but they already have 3 kids. I know I'm my sister's "back up" to my parents in her will.

yes we have thought about it, most likely my brother or his sister. But it all depends

DH's parents will get custody if something happens to us in the near future.

@caffeinated: I think we're in the same boat! My parents are financially secure, they speak English, and they encouraged me to do a lot of extracurriculars and enrolled me in a lot of stuff that was "good for me" (that I hated at the time).

DH's parents are the opposite of all things mentioned above. But I think they would be sooo offended... especially if we have a SON! Because a grandson technically "belongs" to the husband's side of the family (in Chinese traditional customs).

I think about this, too, even though we don't have LOs yet. DH's family is out, as they live abroad, don't speak english, and are not that well off. I feel like it would be too big of a shock to send a child that grew up in the US to live with rando relatives in Ecuador.

My hope is that one of my brothers would do it. My older brother is married, no kids, but I think that he & his wife would be a good option. My younger brother currently works in the shipping industry, and spends lots of time abroad/on boats in the middle of the ocean. He is also single. So unless anything changes dramatically in the next few years, it would be my big brother.

Like several PP, my parents are semi-retired and getting older (mid-sixties), and I think having to take care of grandkids would be too big of a burden.

This has been a tough one for us because there is only one sibling between the two of us and we're in total agreement that she isn't an option. She's married and has a child, and we feel that she's too emotionally unstable, plus she could never treat our child the same as her own, plus her husband would definitely take any money we leave for our child for his personal use. I would rather ask a friend of mine who I know is not going to have children (not because she doesn't like them) and has views similar to mine.

If hubby and I both dropped dead right this second, we agreed my parents would get LO. They are both retired and have the financial means to do it.

@caffeinated: what do you mean by a 50/50 split? Switching back and forth between grandparents? my only thought with that is that a child losing their parents is a huge transition and being switched back and forth between homes could be hard on children as opposed to one consistent home.

At first my DH and I talked about either of our parents for a few years until either his sister or my brother have children and then move to one of them. We decided to just go right to our siblings to avoid another possible transition. We would like our parents to be able to continue enjoying the grandparent stage instead of having to step into parenting again. My DH and I have talked about it and are pretty well decided on my brother and SIL. We thought about his sister and BIL too but my SIL is planning on only working PT and would be home more which is more like our situation. She also works with children with special needs and we think would be a little better at helping a child with grieving. My brother and SIL just seem more comfortable with kids than DH's sister and BIL at this point.

It's such a hard decision though! I hated talking about it and now we just have to make it official.

When we have a child, I would assume my parents, even though they will be in their 60s, and then my BFF and her husband, or my cousin and his wife, if my parents are unable, My BFF doesn't have kids, but we grew up together both as only children, and I can see them sharing our child-raising values.

This is semi-OT but a question for all of you planning ahead:

My BIL and SIL asked DH to be the guardian for their first (he was single at the time, we hadn't even met yet). They mentioned it to him but that's about as much as he knows. Now I am around and they have 2 kids... if they were serious about DH being the legal guardian, is there an official process? Or is word of mouth enough? I want to bring it up with them, but only if it's still a possibility that DH would be the guardian; if it's something you need the guardian's signature on etc. (literally NOTHING has been discussed in the 7+ years since they brought it up, and all of our situations have changed), then it most likely said in passing to be nice and we are not their choice.

Yes, there was a blog post/thread about this a few months ago and I wrote a living will because of it. In it, I specified that LO will not go to either of our siblings - we want our brothers to enjoy their single lives and not be burdened with the responsibility, that DD would stay with the most convenient pair of grandparents/grandparent -- meaning if she already happens to be in the States, she gets to stay there. If she's already in Sweden, she stays here. Basically, I don't want her to separated from whichever grandparent she's already with, unless we live in the States and she's only visiting Sweden, then she comes back home to the States.

We are sort of at a standstill as to who it will be. Whenever I bring it up, DH changes the subject because we know whomever we pick, people will be upset. But in the end we have to do what is best for our child/children

I have no idea. We can't decide at all.

My parents did a pretty good job at raising me, but there are some issues with them that makes me not really want to choose them. His parents are awful parents and I wouldn't even let them babysit, much less parent.
Our siblings are all unmarried and pretty unmature, and also not financially stable.

We have to write a will soon, and we have no idea what we're going to do...

We have several couples that we feel would do an excellent job raising DS if something happened to us, but it will probably end up being BIL J and his wife. He'd be in just as good hands with my ILs, my SIL, or my other BIL/SIL.

My ILs are both retired and travel a lot, and I don't foresee them wanting to raise another child. My SIL is in the middle of divorcing my stepbrother, so not only would that cause a huge ruckus in my family, but she's currently a single mom and another child would be a major burden on her. My other BIL/SIL are probably most closely aligned with us as far as religion/politics/parenting style go, but they're currently living with SIL's parents, so they're out. BIL J and SIL have two boys already, own their home, and have great, steady jobs...adding another child into the mix wouldn't be a huge financial burden on them.