Hellobee Boards

Oh boy, I'm lucky to have no issues with my MIL, I just want to say I feel for you. I can't imagine going through that!

@autumnlove: wow, big hugs to you!! Sorry that your MIL is like that! You should do what's best for your family and maybe eventually she'll come around?

I (thankfully) have a wonderful MIL. Just last night, DH got called into work, so after I went to the gym, I spent a couple hours at the in-laws' house. They're truly my second family and I love them to pieces.

DH, on the other hand, has a totally different relationship with his MIL/ my mom. My mom is really emotional and high strung and EVERYTHING is a huge deal to her. She didn't like DH when we were younger and dating, but she's tried to get over her issues now that we're married. The worst part for DH is when my mom upsets ME. That's when it bothers him.

That's crappy, hope your mil starts to understand where you're coming from!

I rarely have issues with my mil. The only problem was when I told her we were taking lo to the doctor because I thought she had reflux. She swore up and down its nothing, just a fussy baby with gas. Then she preceded to point out to me every time she burped or footed for the next 5 hours. And I just sat there silent. Of course she had reflux, she got meds, and she was fine.

@autumnlove: Oh. My. Goodness. I think your theory on your MIL being the way she is because she was the only woman in her family is spot on! I'm convinced that's why my MIL is so used to getting her way too! I don't understand how in-laws can be so mean to people who aren't even their own children! I'm sorry your MIL is so controlling

After watching what my mom had to go through with my dad's crazy mom, I was very cautious to check out the MIL situation before getting too serious with anyone.

I feel for anyone who has a difficult time with their MIL, I hated to see my mom cry when my grandmother was mean. It really damaged her relationships with her grandkids since none of her daughters-in-law were good enough for her sons!

I love my MIL, and most of the time we are really good friends, just once and a while she may not understand why I make a choice. Fortunately my husband and I are a perfect fit somehow, but I grew up in a very different environment from him. Our parents raised us with the same values, but things were still very different.

Nope, I just let her be as much as possible.

My relationship with both MILs is awesome. I rarely see or talk to both of them so that's good. Step MIL is busy with her very actively senior lifestyle and I only see her on holidays and special occasions. She only lives 20 minutes away. My MIL still works and she drops by whenever she can and she only lives less than 5 minutes away. MIL is just happy that 1. she now has some contact with her OWN son and 2. she has a grandson to spoil.

@kml636: Do I win a replacement MIL?!?!?!

So sorry to everyone on here with a crummy MIL. It's not something I ever anticipated. At least we get nice DHs out of it.

My MIL is super awesome, relaxed and caring – I really love her. BUT, she was out this weekend for my baby shower and to help us furnish the nursery and she’s definitely going a little bit baby bananas.

Our nursery is our former spare room/junk room and has a wall heater that is basically always on low for some reason – so our cat LOVES the room, and often sleeps in there, next to the heater. The cat has a bed in there by the heater, she has been sleeping there her entire life, and she will most certainly be allowed to continue after LO is here. The cat will not be banned from the nursery.

MIL is lovely, but NOT an animal person, at all. She spent the entire weekend screaming every time the cat moved to go into the nursery! Yelling at the cat or yelling at us to get the cat out of the nursery. When she saw the cat sniff a toy I bought for LO, MIL just about lost her mind. One, there is no baby in there yet. Two, this is our house, and that has been the cat’s room. It will continue to be a room she uses. Those are the rules. End of story.

I finally told my husband to talk to his mother before I did – the cat is a family member too! MIL also constantly closes the bathroom door completely (so you can’t pull it open without using the door knob) when she knows the cat drinks water out of that tub faucet. Bah!

I’m hoping this weekend was just stressful for everyone and she gets over the cat issues quick!

I think that my MIL is stuck in the generation she grew up in. She also is the only woman in DH's family and they are dairy farmers, so it is normal/expected for her to take care of her husband and sons, which equates to waiting on them hand and foot. Granted they work hard on the farm all day, so I understand, but she takes it too far, like by picking up the bathroom after they shower, etc... BIL just drops his clothes on the floor, right next to the darn hamper, and steps over them on his way out leaving them for her to clean up. She also is a take charge, can't stop moving for 2 seconds kind of person. She feels offended if someone offers to help or do something for her, like laundry or make dinner, like she isn't needed anymore.

She's had a hard time adjusting to DH and BIL having strong, liberal women in their lives and taking over caring for her boys.

I thought it was awesome to have the first grandchild in DH's family, but she's channeling all of her extra energy from not having DH and BIL in the house into my son, which is exhausting at times.

wow, so sorry you have to go through that. my MIL mainly leaves us alone - maybe a little bit too alone though - we don't hear from her very much!!

Omg....reading this post reminds me of the frustrations I have with my own MIL. She called us almost everyday when we were on our honeymoon. Whenever she sees me she whines and tells me to call her more often (and this makes me want to call her
Less). If it were up to her, she would want us to go over for dinner everyday and live there! Ugh! Omg....

My MIL drama started on the day of our wedding. Right after our 1st dance she came up to me and said, "Ok, time to call me Mom now!" I just kind of stared at her blankly and walked away. I'm not comfortable calling her Mom (as I have one of my own and love her dearly - plus it has always been just the 2 of us) and I think that upsets her a lot. It doesn't help that DH calls my mom "Mom" openly.

My MIL raised 3 boys, plus DH's younger cousin and then went back to school to get her Master's and now works for Bank of America as a very high up manager. She believes she's done it all and done it all correctly. She likes to be involved in every conversation and always has to know that she's being heard. If she's telling a story or asking a question and someone doesn't answer her right away she says, "right?? right??" until someone answers her. Her mom is actually very, very overbearing and needy and it drives her nuts....but I'm not sure she realizes that she is very similar to this.

I worry about my MIL once our baby is born later this year and I know DH worries about my mom. Sigh - seems like a double-edged sword haha.