Hellobee Boards

@snowjewelz: So Rider S knows exactly who complained about her odor. I didn't mention this earlier but on Friday morning's commute (before the email was sent out), Rider S and I were having a conversation. I was driving the vanpool and Rider S was in the front passenger seat, while Rider O and the primary driver sat in the back seat. Rider S and I were having a conversation about something, well, all of a sudden there was a break in our conversation. Rider O and the primary driver was talking about Rider S's breath in the back seat!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!?! I guess they thought since we were having a conversation that we wouldn't hear them. They didn't expect us to stop talking and overhear it. Well, when I realized they were talking about Rider S, I tried to start up another conversation, hoping to distract Rider S from hearing anything. I was hoping and praying Rider S couldn't figure out what they were talking about. So when rider S read the email that came though that afternoon, she was upset and the reason why she was so quiet in the vanpool.

Well, Monday (yesterday) while rider S and I were in the car (rider O and the primary driver had the day off so they didn't ride yesterday), Rider S mentioned the incident. She asked us if we thought she smelled. I said no and the other rider (the man) said he didn't smell it either. She said that she knows it was those other two riders because she overheard their conversation on Friday morning!!! OMG!! I was completely shocked and embarrassed for her. I feel so bad that she overheard them.

So the good thing is that if we wanted to kick Rider O out of our vanpool, we probably can. We have a majority considering rider S, the man rider and I would vote to have her removed, but since we need all 5 riders, I doubt the man rider would kick her off because he is the one who setup the vanpool and tried hard to find 5 riders.

@Freckles: yeah, did you read my last response? Rider S overheard them talking about her smell on Friday morning. So imagine being hurt hearing the conversation and then seeing the email come through that afternoon. Double whammy! Rider S is tougher than me. I think I would have cried if I were in Rider S's situation. I probably would leave the vanpool. I would be devastated. Luckily, Rider S knows that it's those two riders and not the rest of us but, man oh man, she is a strong woman to deal with this drama. She's holding her head up high, though.

Someone from my work tested out the vanpool this morning! There are talks about other potentials, too. We might have to upgrade to a larger van! Rider O's potential vote off is sounding pretty cool.

@snowjewelz: Seattle metro has a website where you input where you live and where you work. It then shows you who in your area might have similar commutes. It is up to you to email others and see they are interested in starting or joining a vanpool.

The mini vans or larger vans are owned by the city. They pay for gas and maintance. You pay a vanpool fee based on the miles you commute to work. My work has a commuter allowance so my vanpool expense is paid by my company. Here in Seattle, the city tries to promote being green by using alternative methods of commuting to work. I believe its a law or ordinance that you have to charge employees to park on-site. Also, Seattle has HOV lanes, so it makes the commute less if you are taking the bus or using a vanpool/carpool.

@Mrs.Someone: @Shutterbug: Yup, I use zip car for round trips and car2go for one way trips.

@wonderstruck: See, there's now talk about getting more riders. If we can get 8 riders, we can upgrade to the bigger van. So, if we do that, we'll need all the riders we can get... including rider O. I'm fine with the smaller van, but having more people ride means the monthly expense goes down. Personally, my employer pays for my individual vanpool expense, so I don't care what it costs.

Drama strikes again!

To give you some background that has happened over the last few days.

Rider O likes to talk to the driver about her 6 kids. (Yeah, she has 6 kids.) Yesterday, rider O mentioned that she needed to have family meeting to discuss something. She went all into it about how her 13 and 16 year old reacts and how they are ungrateful and don’t do their chores. Seriously, with reenactments on how their arguments go down. She even mentioned that she’s overwhelmed with everything and that she’s considered sending her 16 year old off to live with her mom. She said she is tired from work and has to deal with their stuff. (Hello, you’re a parent, normal stuff here.) Anyway, yesterday, she mentioned how she even told her kids that she considered adoption.. giving them up for adoption. (My IF self had to restrain myself from saying something.) She said she would never give up her kids because she loves them but she wanted to let her kids know how hard it been. So yeah, most of the car ride yesterday was talking about her kids. The driver and rider O was actively participating. Everyone else did their own thing. I was on my phone. I can only participate in so much of her conversations before it gets to be too much drama for me.

So this morning, Rider O decided to give the Driver a recap on what happened yesterday. (Ugh!) Rider O was in the backseat, so she pretty much screams (or raises her voice) to have this conversation with the driver, who is up front. Yeah, rider O has a loud voice when she talks. Like I said before, I just want to sleep on my way in. Shhh, quiet please.

Anyway, about halfway through the ride, rider S says ‘Can you not be so loud. I’m trying to have a relaxing ride into work and catch up on emails on my phone and your conversation making it difficult.” My thought, ‘Yay, rider S. Thanks for bringing it up.’ Yes, now that I think about it, rider S probably could have a bit more nicer about it, but I think considering the shit she went through with the smell fiasco, I understand and see where she is coming from.

So rider O did not like that and mentioned about how rider S likes to make phone calls in Spanish. Then Rider S said something in return. I spoke up first and was followed by the driver that we all need to have a timeout! Which shut everyone up. Thank god!

5 minutes of quiet passed. Rider O then continues her family drama, but in a quieter voice. Seriously, I don’t want to hear it. So I put my headphones on and Rider O saw it. So she should hopefully get the hint that I am, also, annoyed by the conversation.

Anyway, we drop off rider S, and rider O asks everyone in the van if we thought she was loud. Driver agreed with rider O and said that Rider S was a bit rude in how she said it. I spoke up and told her that, yes, I think she can be loud and that she likes to talk about her kids but, as someone who has infertility (they know that I’m doing IVF soon), it’s hard for me to hear someone complaining about her kids.’ Well, Rider O went on about how she is a single mother with 6 kids and she feels there is nothing wrong with talking to other mothers (the driver) about parenting issues. She just completely ignored my point of view and said that my issues are my own thing and that people will talk about kids around me. WTF!!! (Oh, yeah, she doesn't think she was complaining about her kids.) She's dilusional, I tell you. Yup, rider O is so selfish! Unbelievable! I don’t know if I mentioned this but rider O has already borderline complained about one of her coworkers going through IVF. (That is how my infertility was brought up with the group because I was not going to have her bash someone else with IF. )

So the driver then suggests that we have no conversations in the van. I see where she’s coming from and it’s rather extreme but I think we need to go that way because to respect everyone’s point of view. Rider O was annoyed that it was suggested. Come on! Hello! You’re the one who caused most of this mess!

So I emailed Rider S and told her that I am happy that she spoke up and that I agreed with her and that I'm on her side.

Well, now Rider S is considering leaving the vanpool. If I have to be stuck in the vanpool without her and be stuck with Rider O, I might as well leave, too!

Yeah, I now feel Rider O is a bully. She completely ignored my feeling and made her feeling more important.

Stupid vanpool drama. Come on!!

I think we need to have a vote to determine who needs to be kicked out. Rider O or rider S. Vanpool policy says that a vote something we can do to handle personal issues.

@snowjewelz: I know. I told rider S that rider O needs to go before she does.