-
@Ginabean3: Haha! Thanks for tuning in. I'm sure they'll be drama tonight when I ride it home.
-
@bluestriped bee: just tun up your music the whole ride -__-
-
@bluestriped bee: Well you hang in there!!!
-
@bluestriped bee: I have been shamelessly following this thread since you started - I read it at work so I haven't been able to respond... I have to admit I enjoy it, while feeling incredulous and so irritated for you! Wish you could just kick rider O out! That would be a unanimous vote...
-
@bluestriped bee: I say have the voting be anonymous and hopefully everyone will vote out rider O, she sounds like a cancer to the group!
-
@bluestriped bee: OMG! I just caught up with all of the updates and holy #*@! So much drama....you totally need to start a blog "Daily musing in the dramatic carpool world".
I'm sorry you have to start and end your day in such a stressful situation, Rider O needs to take her drama elsewhere (where she can stay in the carpool lane as long as she damn well pleases!).
-
@Mrs. Taco: lol! I should!
-
So vanpool today was quiet, no discussions or drama.
Rider O sat up front so she had conversations with the driver.
The 4 people in back had normal conversations, but quiet. I didn't have any direct convos with rider O, other than a general hi and bye to everyone.
Rider S did make two short phone calls and I could see rider O annoyed and shaking her head.
So today no one brought up the elephant in the room.
Guess no one wanted to deal with it today. Maybe we just wanted a quiet vanpool and drama free.
So I'm trying to think of how I can get everyone's opinion on the recent issues. I want it to be anonymous so people feel comfortable sharing.
I'm thinking of creating a free online poll, like through zoomerang.
These are the questions that I'm thinking of asking. I'm hoping the questions below are fair.
In no particular order...
Do you feel the issues that have come up in the vanpool have made you consider leaving the vanpool?
Do you feel there is a particular rider or riders that are causing the recent issues?
How do you feel about our vanpool?
Positive Neutral Negative
(Or number scale?)If negative, please explain what you think would make your ride more pleasant?
Open comment box or have them select from choices?How do you feel about a policy of no conversation in vanpool?
How do you feel about a policy of vanpool related conversation only?
Do you feel there could be a rule that should be enforced to reduce the issues in our vanpool?
-
About to get into the AM vanpool! I think this Needs to be addressed today. Wish me luck!
-
@bluestriped bee: Good luck! This is like a soap opera. Rider O needs to get the boot! Viva la revolution!
-
@bluestriped bee: Oo can't wait to find out if anything happened! But see, can't they all just value a quiet vanpool day and all decide that it should stay that way?!
-
So rider O arrived before rider S (which is a first! Rider O has always been the last person to arrive). I wonder if rider O and the driver talked and suggested rider O arrive early to get the front seat to talk to the driver. Wow!
So because there were no issues today and I didn't want to create stress this morning, I decided not to say anything.
Rider O and the driver had their conversations up front and the riders in the back had our own.
Somewhat solved the issue. The big elephant is still in car and not much is said to the driver after she dropped off rider O.
-
Woo! Maybe that's how it should be. Just let her take shotgun lol.
-
@snowjewelz: Yeah, I hope so. I really hope rider O continues to arrive early. I don't think the seat should be given to her if she arrives late.
-
@bluestriped bee: I would give it to her to keep her up front lol, only when the driver is there though, not when you drive!
-
@snowjewelz: Oh, yeah, when I drive, I don't want her up front. Or else I'll have to call her out on criticizing my driving. Now that the drama is out of the bag and she knows I don't like her (rider O), I will have to be firm with her.
-
Can you just put Rider O in trunk?
I am so glad you and S stood up for yourselves with her insane children bashing nonsense... Gosh, I would love to know how the driver feels about her ranting! Sounds like she sits up front and only talks about herself!
-
@psw27: Sadly, I think the driver might like talking to rider O. I don't get it. Some people like hearing drama, maybe the driver enjoys it.
OMG, Rider O in the truck would be awesome! Though, it's a mini van so she would probably annoy the quiet riders that sit in the back.
-
@bluestriped bee ugh, I guess I know plenty of people like that so it shouldn't suprirse me. Are there men in this vanpool? I think you said there are -- I can only imagine that they are rolling their eyes like crazy. Not that men can't be dramatic, but this type of stuff would drive my DH nutso.
-
@psw27: Yup, there's one man but he rides only in the evening and not the AM. He is a coworker of mine and he just keeps to himself and reads. (I wish I didn't get car sick and could sit in the back and zone out.)
I was telling the DH and he said he would have gone nuts, too. He actually said that he would love ride one day and say something to rider O to set her straight.
-
She was just annoying and a trouble starter in the beginning, but going off about IF and being so insensitive def crosses the line.
-
@bluestriped bee: That e-mail/poll sounds like feeding/thriving on the drama - not trying to get rid of it. It will just lead to everyone gossiping over who said what, and I'm sorry, but the amount of gossiping going on here is already ridiculous. You guys sound like high schoolers. You have O being the classic mean girl with her buddy encouraging her and everyone else just passively watching it and gossiping but not wanting to actually say anything to O, even when she's being awful and passive-aggressive. And when S does try to stand up for herself you guys sit there and don't say a thing to support her
If you want to take an anonymous vote, I think it should be about who the other riders would choose to vote out. Don't even bother with the other questions. You're going to end up short a rider anyways is S leaves.
-
@wonderstruck: Alrighty then. You are calling all of us high schoolers? Honestly, we are adults and I think most of us don't want to deal with drama and we might be all passive aggressive but to call us high schoolers? Wow! A bit extreme.
Most of us want a drama free ride and last thing we want is this negative energy before going into work. The work/job we do is more important than this stupid vanpool drama. I don't think any of us realized it would be like this. So yeah, there is currently a balance of starting drama versus wondering if it will get better on its own.
Also, I don't like talking about riders behind their backs and the only reason I talk about it with the other riders is to fill in the rider that only rides in the evenings. I want him to be informed incase we need to make a decision as a group.
Yeah, I created this thread because I wanted to see what others thought. I wanted to know if this was drama or if it was a minor issue that needed to be addressed or not. I never realized the drama would continue.
As for the poll/questions, it was an idea that I thought of. Just an idea. All you had to say was that you didn't think that idea would help. Not to call us high schoolers. How is that constructive???
So before you label and judge us as 'high schoolers,' I think you need to realize where we are coming from and the reasoning behind our actions (or lack of action, which you have clearly mentioned before.)
-
Quick update- One person (one of my coworkers) in the vanpool has left the vanpool because of Rider O. (Her last day was on Wednesday). Rider S and I are possibly thinking of leaving, too.
I need to fill you in on what happened in the last two weeks (not much drama) but today was my last straw. Rider O completely crossed the line today with her conversation. It was a complete Infertility sensitivity fail!! She asked the entire van to pray for her and dealing with her 6 kids about getting chores done and them not listening. (Rider S and I both bit our tongues.) I am going to be nice and wait for another rider to get approved as a back-up driver before I leave. I've had it with the vanpool! Taking the bus (or driving in myself) sounds so much better.
I'll update when I get the chance.
ETA: Rider S was already thinking of telling the primary driver today (!) that she is considering leaving the vanpool. (She didn't because she was running a little late.) I'm actually really grateful that my coworker that recently left left when she did. It gave Rider S and I the right time to leave the vanpool. We might create our own vanpool. Or carpool, if we have to.
-
@bluestriped bee: glad you are thinking of leaving. Sounds like a lot of negativity!
-
@bluestriped bee: I didn't know your coworker was that bothered by it! I'm glad you're being considerate being leaving and taking the higher road. I def feel like you can at least carpool w/ the other two that left. I can't completely judge rider O since I'm not there, but I def agree with being proactive in choosing a commute that's the most comfortable for you!
-
@bluestriped bee: Why don't you, S and the other coworker create your own pool?!
-
@bluestriped bee: I think creating your own carpool/vanpool sounds good if you three leave!
-
@LindsayInNY: @Mrs. Pen: It is currently in the works but we need a total of 5 people to commit before the city gives us a vanpool. We currently have 3 total, but there are some possible riders but we have to get them to agree to join.
Once I leave my current vanpool (hopefully by the end of the week), I will just take the bus.
There are discussions about just using someone's car and chipping in gas until we get the vanpool.
-
@bluestriped bee: I just got caught up on all this! I take back what I said on your other thread about her waking up her kids (I'm assuming this is her) not being a big deal. She is awful. This background information is definitely important to know because she is obviously having a tough time with her kids, but she sounds like someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Not to offend anyone who has it, but when the case is severe and the person is totally NOT self aware, they can be some of the worst people to be around, coming from someone who works in mental health.
Make your own van pool! That would be ideal! I'm usually non confrontational too, but I would totally quit now without waiting for another driver and let them ALL know I was quitting because of this biatch.
-
Life is too short to start off your mornings with this much drama and negativity. I also vote for driving yourself or starting a new carpool group! Good luck.
-
Update: Notice given! I'm 'almost' out of the vanpool and have been so relieved! I'm not going to ride in this week but I will be available to drive in if the primary driver can't. The backup driver should be approved hopefully this week. Then I am OUT!!
I drove into work today and it was so nice. Traffic wasn't that bad. (Ok, it was a normal 50 minute commute.) So much better coming into work and not having to deal with rider O.
-
@bluestriped bee: yay! good for you! Are you and Rider S going to carpool for now?
-
@bluestriped bee: Yay! The last thing you need in your life is negativity from a "stranger". I hope you can join or start a new rideshare soon!
-
@bluestriped bee: I'm so happy for you that you are out of that situation but kind of sad not to have anymore updates on this thread. Your vanpool was juicier than an episode of Scandal!
-
@Mrs. Pen: I think Rider S will stay in the vanpool for now. At least, that's what I get.
My coworker that left the vanpool, last week, could get together and carpool.
-
@bluestriped bee: Oh thank goodness, finally! So happy to hear that.
-
@plantains: Haha. Jucier than scandal! Oh, wow. Haha! It was very dramalicious!
I am so glad you and S stood up for yourselves with her insane children bashing nonsense... Gosh, I would love to know how the driver feels about her ranting! Sounds like she sits up front and only talks about herself!
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
117 comments