If you work outside the home, are you afraid your lo is going to hit all of their milestones while you are at work? I'm worried she will say her first word, start crawling and start walking while at daycare and she's not even here yet! What do you do, tell the daycare not to tell you if it happens? Don't ask, don't tell?
grapefruit / 4049 posts
Hmm, when I was a working mom, daycare/nanny would tell me "oh she started doing this..." and most of the time I would have already seen signs of her close to doing or already doing whatever it was. I think a very small part of me was a bit sad I missed it, but I remember foremost just being proud and overjoyed that she did it at all! then it was exciting for me to anticipate and encourage her to do it again for me and DH (and the video cam).
pear / 1861 posts
Like PP, I had saw signs of it. So far I'm okay, but I hope it happens-whatever the rest are-at home.
Also, daddy misses them too, regardless of if you work or not. Just thought about how some dads feel.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@MsMamaBear: good point! That question should be to moms and dads. Not just moms.
clementine / 889 posts
This was one of my biggest concerns about going back to work. I wanted to experience the joy and giddiness of witnessing my son's milestones first hand, not hearing about them from someone else. This is actually another thing I love about the in-home daycare we use. Because she has kids of various ages she's very careful about putting DS on the floor so he doesn't get hurt. He definitely gets time on the floor, but she carries him a lot and he loves the exersaucer there because it puts him at a good level to interact with the other kids, who all LOVE him. So thankfully up until now, DS has hit his milestones at home. Just last night he pulled himself up to a standing position trying to climb onto my lap with me only holding his hands so he didn't fall over. The only one we haven't seen is him going from laying down to sitting which he does in his crib. We just haven't caught him yet! If DS is doing things at daycare first, she isn't saying anything to us, which is just fine by me.
apricot / 464 posts
My son is with a nanny only 20 hrs/week but yes, I'm worried I'll miss first steps! I talked about it with her though, and she says it's pretty much nanny code to never tell if it happens!
persimmon / 1150 posts
This is one of my biggest fears... and the reason I don't want to return to work for a while. My LO is 4 months and I was lucky enough to see her roll over and laugh for the first time, and I felt bad that my DH didn't get to see that. I can't imagine having a daycare provider telling me.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I'm a sahm and I missed her first time rolling over. My mom was over and playing with her out front on a blanket in the grass, and she screamed for me so I ran out there and she was on her belly. She rolled over.
No matter what you can't be with your lo 24/7 so we're all going to miss things sadly.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I think it is one of my biggest fears, but at the same time... I think it's good training for me in the future. Babies grow up and this will train myself to realize that I won't be there for EVERYTHING.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
In 20 months she's never hit a milestone without me being there I think she waits for me!
pear / 1965 posts
Honestly, when I worked in daycare, we would not mention these things if they happened. We def wanted Moms and Dads to feel like they were there for thir "firsts". We would maybe just say Oh you LO looks like he/or she is about to start cralwing, realllllly close!!! Or something leading up to the "milestone".
My mom and I have talked about this too. My mother got a lot of "guff" from her best friend who believed women should stay home with their children. She asked my mom "How could you let a stranger watch your children", "Do you know how much you are missing in your childrens lives?", "How can you do that".
In which my moms response was 1- they are not with a stranger they are with a daycare provider who happens to be a close family friend (who to this day is still like my second mom)
AND 2- its not about the quantity but the QUALITY of time I spend with my children!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@Rescuemom10: I like everything you just said. I might have started crying. Excuse me and my stupid pregnancy hormones.
coffee bean / 48 posts
Our daycare just doesn't tell us. It works out great.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I don't think our day care would tell us either. And you can't be there every second of the day even if you are a SAHM. Unless you are away for long periods of time, like traveling for work or something, chances are you will see most of the milestones.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
I don't want daycare to tell me but I may miss the first, I understand that I will still see MANY more.