Hellobee Boards

I would be annoyed but did you tell them to keep it a secret? I've found with my in laws if I don't say anything about keeping it hush hush, they spill the beans.

I think most people would assume (rightly or wrongly) that buying a house isn't something secret.

I would probably be annoyed, but I also don't think your FIL did anything wrong. I'm sure he's just excited that his son bought his first house and like the other posters, that's not one of the things I would assume the person wants to share themselves (like a baby or an engagement).

Unless you shared the news to your ILs that you were not going to tell others for months I don't think he did anything wrong. The way he is going about sharing the news doesn't seem bad since it sounds like he's telling people in one on one conversations.

ETA: I would be annoyed if family all of a sudden started calling wanting to talk about the house.

@aprild: I get that, but my answer is the same. If people ask you just give them that answer.

@aprild: well if you are not living there giving out the address for Christmas cards is weird. I mean if people ask for photos or to come by you have the right to say no. I totally understand your expectations but I don't think I would be unhappy with others who are excited for you.

While I understand your reason for wanting to share the news when everything is done, I still don't think it's fair to have expected to your in laws to keep it a secret unless you asked them to. As others have said, a home purchase isn't like a pregnancy where people typically don't share right away.

Sure annoyed, but in the grand scheme of things it could be worse. Part of the annoyance would come from them telling if you asked them not to. I had my FIL tell people we were pregnant (they were told to tell no one) before we wanted to tell extended family and at the time we hadn't told all my family yet (it was still early). I would tell him you aren't sharing the address yet because you prefer to get mail where you're still currently living.

@aprild: it's not petty. Your house isn't ready for public view yet...that's all. Hopefully your FIL doesn't have the number to call your friends and your side of the family. You will still be able to impress them with the finished product- the only one they will know. I would not give your FIL your new address...if people are that competitive they will likely Zillow your address and take a peak at the pictures of the interior online. Keep in mind you still control who visits & enters your new home.

@aprild: For another way of looking at the situation, if somebody bought a house planning on doing work to it and told me up front I wouldn't make that my first impression. I would actually love to see the before and afters, and would judge you once it was done.

I usually get annoyed at my IL's for things but this is definitely not something that would irritate me at all. Honestly, it sounds like the reason your upset is simply because you're fixated on everyone being impressed about your home and less that they shared the news. I don't think it would've annoyed you if your house had been something you're ready to show off. With that in mind, I'd simply remind FIL you won't be moving in until February and to let him know they can send their cards to your current home. If anyone asks to see pictures, just say you will share them once you move in. That seems reasonable to me.

I would be annoyed and tell him that we'll send out a moving announcement once we're living in the house and able to have a proper house warming. For now all our mail needs to come to our current address.

My coworker has a very "annoying" MIL. When they bought their first house her son sent her a jpeg of the front of the house from the listing (not the actual listing), before they had closed on it. She some how google image searched, found the listing, got the address, drove over to the house, took photos of the outside, and then posted all about it on Facebook and tagged my friend and her husband. She was mortified and so upset.