An amazing recent post got me thinking about this. I love my sister so dearly but I couldn't do it. Not only is it so hard on the body but I think I would have a hard time being pregnant only to hand over the child even to someone I love. And my husband would never go for it ever. How about you guys?
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I would say yes. There are a few people I'd willingly go to bat for. But I also had a relatively easy pregnancy even with a high demand job. My next one may not be quite as easy!
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I have offered this to a close friend. I hated being pregnant, but for her, I would do it. I have seen her struggle so much with loss and not having her own child and I would love to be able to actually help.
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I would do it for my BFF but not for anyone else. I think I would struggle to give the baby up.....
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No...not because I couldn't give it up (although it would be tough), but I'm just not a good candidate for that.
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I would do it for my sisters or one of my closest friends.
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I think many people's answers also depend on whether it was their own eggs or not. Being in the situation that I am, I get a lot of people telling me if they think they could or couldn't ever be a surrogate themselves for a family member or close friend and most people seem to be fairly okay if it wouldn't biologically be their child. But they don't think they could ever hand the baby over if the child was biologically theirs (which is completely justified in my opinion).
What makes my sister just so amazing is that this child WILL be hers biologically, but she's doing this for me anyway.
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I would do it for my sister in a heart beat. But thats it.
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As much as I was absolutely miserable pregnant, I would consider it for my sister. Which is funny since I definitely don't want to be pregnant again for another child of our own. But, if it meant a child for her, I'd do it.
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Having never been pregnant, I'm not sure how I'll handle pregnancy, but having been on the IF side of things, I'd like to think I could be a surrogate for someone. It's such an incredible gift.
@however briefly: your sister is awesome! I hope you get good news in the next few days
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@Shutterbug: Thank you! She's not going to POAS again until Christmas morning (12DPO) so we're all crossing our fingers that this Christmas will be extra special!
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No, I wouldn't.
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My husband would never go for it. If somehow the situation come up in a different universe without my same husband, I would for my brother and his lovely wife if they asked but probably no one else.
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I don't think I could emotionally. But I also wouldn't for my own health and health of the baby since I'm at risk for preterm labor again.
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My pregnancy has been relatively easy, so I would do it for a select few people. I would for my BFF, and my one SIL. And probably for my sister (but she's only 12 so it's not even on the radar obviously :wink:). But it would definitely depend on the person.
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@however briefly: your sister seriously rocks the world!!!! She is amazing. I'm in awe.
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I couldn't. Plus, each pregnancy is different so who knows if it would be easy or hard. Plus, I have to think of the LO I already have. I need to be able to take care of him.
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I would for my sister and in fact, she offered to be a surrogate for me when I was having IF problems. She said she would carry the baby or donate her eggs, but she didn't think she could handle both (which I completely understand). It was such a generous offer from both my sister and her husband. Luckily, we didn't need her in the end, but I'll never forget her generosity.
@howeverbriefly: Your sister is wonderful! Fingers crossed for you!
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Nope. I honestly can't think of anyone I would do this for.
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For one of my sisters, yes. If I never had the chance to be à mama it would breaky heart, if they were facing that and surrogacy was the only option i would help.
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No, I couldn't. I felt so bonded with B even before I delivered him. I couldn't imagine spending 9 months bonding with a baby just to give him/her up. I know it sounds selfish, but I couldn't mentally handle it.
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I most likely would not, mostly because being a surrogate is not allowed in my religion.
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Since we've been through infertility and I know how awful it is, I would do this for any close friend or relative that wanted a surrogate. But, I also think it would be strange if the only baby I gave birth to wasn't my biological child. I think we would need to 100% be done with trying for biological kids before I did it though.
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I want to say yes but to be honest I don't think I could. My pregnancy with E was rough on me, and I don't think it would be fair to him or D for me to potentially go through that again and not have a baby to bring to our family.
I MIGHT consider if for my BFF who is in a same-sex relationship, but my parts aren't the parts they need.
And maybe if I had a sister or cousin I was really close to I would at least consider it?
But since those the former above exception isn't an issue I could help with and the latter is just not the case I say probably not. At least not now.
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No, dealing with Hyperemesis is not something I will even do again for myself, let alone someone else.
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@LittleFox: interesting. What religion is that, if you don't mind my asking?
No I wouldn't. Being pregnant was not something my body was that good at.
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Wow! I am kind of amazed at how 50/50 this poll turned out. There are a lot of generous souls on here.
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DH wouldn't be comfortable with it.
But I could see it being so special if it were the right person! I think I'll still be young when I'm done having my own so hypothetically I'd have that going in my favor.
But I would only do it if DH was 100% ok with it and so I voted no.
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No, I had easy pregnancies, but I still think it's too hard on the body. I developed a gluten allergy after my 2nd pregnancy. I know people who have lost their sense of smell, their sense of touch, and developed other allergies… it's rough!
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@LittleFox: do you mind telling what your religion is??
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For my brother and SIL only. But I had a dream pregnancy !
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Yes, and considered it for my sister when they were having issues. I woudl have waited until we were done having our children in case of complications, but I would have been the "cooker" of my niece/nephew had they wanted to go that route. (Luckily after some help they now have 2 beautiful children on their own!)
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I couldn't do it but have enormous respect & admiration for those who do.
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I'm 38 weeks pregnant right now ... While I have absolutely loved being pregnant, I just don't think I could carry someone else's baby. The connection I have with my baby is beyond what words can explain, and I can't imagine having to grow someone else's baby, then hand it over. Sure, it would be emotionally rewarding, but for me, the sting of it would be too much. I have so much respect for those that can do this ... I think they're a truly special kind of person!
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I used to think yes but honestly, probably not. I wouldn't do it until we are done having our own kids, at which point I'll prob by at least 35. I would worry about the pregnancy taking me away from my young children, even though my first pregnancy and delivery were pretty easy. Dh said he would be too worried about something happening to me.
The actual bonding and giving up part I think I could handle, as long as it wasn't my egg. I feel like if I knew I was just growing the baby for my loved one I would feel differently than I did with my baby.
I would consider it if one of my sisters asked but not sure if say yes.
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I would for my sister but probably not for anyone else.
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In the past my answer would have been HECK NO... I had uncomfortable pregnancies and rough deliveries with bad experiences with pain management. But of course, now that I'm done with kids, I get a twinge whenever I read a birth story...!! I think my answer is no (mostly because I don't have sisters, and I'm not sure who else I would do this for) but of course now that I'm pretty much recovered from all things pregnancy, I'm all "maybe...."
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No. I felt too bonded to DS by the time of his birth, and I had both an awful pregnancy and an awful delivery, compounded by postpartum depression. I couldn't put myself through that mental hell again.
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@jedeve: @MrsMcD: Catholic
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Yes yes yes!!!! (As long as its not my egg)
I would love to be a surrogate one day and I think the only way my SO would go for it would be if it were for family. I think it would be amazing to be able to watch the child grow up.
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