If you weren't sure you could get pregnant and went through the steps to start the adoption process or foster parent process, would you stop those if you got a surprise or long awaited BFP?
I haven't been in this situation so I can't answer other than to say, I don't know what we would do. I would hope if we felt strongly about adopting or fostering (or both) we would continue on that journey and enjoy our added blessing, as well!
What would you do?
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
I'm in this situation now and we are not stopping. Strange I know.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@anonysquire: what are your plans and why is it strange? I think it's wonderful!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
No, we wouldn't stop, because I am a pessimist and would always have those "what if" scenarios running through my head, like "what if I miscarried because i stopped the adoption process." Not logical, I know, but it's the truth.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
We would proceed with both. We were also very careful during he adoption process and he year after to make sure we didn't get into that situation. One of my siblings did, and it worked out just fine (even though there was a completely crazy period of time!)
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
@mediagirl: just probably strange for first time parents wanting to foster and adopt who just got pregnant to keep doing it. We just want a ton of kids. 6, 8, 100! Anyways we are still becoming certified to foster hopefully this next month, and still finishing up our adoption home study.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
I think of Mrs. Train when I hear this question!!!
I have no idea what I would do! I'd probably continue depending on where I was in the process. If we were matched I don't think I could stop.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I would not give up what we were already pursuing. I take the approach that if there is a baby meant for me I need to be open to all possibilities.
squash / 13199 posts
It depends on my reason for adopting and also how far along we were in the adoption process. But if I was adopting solely because I couldnt have a child of my own and suddenly did have my own I think I would feel strongly about the adopted baby going to someone who "wants/needs" the baby more than me now that I have my own baby on the way. I dont know if thats wrong
coconut / 8475 posts
If it were adoption, I'd continue.
If it were fostering, no. I'd stop. Fostering can a child of any age and is not a permanent situation. I would want that up/down with a newborn. I'd prefer "this is official, he is our child" rather than a child who doesn't belong to us forever and technically has another family.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@TurtleDoves: I also have grave concerns about when foster kids come into a home where there is a younger child. This happened to us when we were young and it wasn't pretty. The younger children were victims to the fosters.
coconut / 8498 posts
If it were adoption I would continue, assuming we wouldn't be breaking any state laws or agency restrictions. I would pause fostering. I would not foster an children that were older than my youngest adopted or biological child.
honeydew / 7811 posts
@mediagirl: I have heard that some agencies have rules regarding this. Like they will not adopt/foster out to an expecting couple. I think the rationale is that they want the adopted/fostered child to receive 100% of the parents attention.
I'm not sure what I'd do! I think it would be very hard to just stop the adoption/foster process. You have your heart invested in that I assume, and from what I understand it is so much work! But knowing myself personally I get overwhelmed easily, so I don't know if I could handle both situations at once?
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I think it would depend on finances first, we can only afford to take care of a certain amount of kids. And it would depend on how many kids we already have. I get migraines so DH is often a solo parent on the weekends. Tons of babies would be hard on him.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
If there were no children already in works then I would pause.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
There are too many dependents to say for sure now, but like @Mrsbells: if I was adopting because I couldn't carry a biological child, I would have feelings like I was being selfish by 'keeping' two, if that makes any sense. But I also think if I had been matched already, I'd be way too far into the process to want to back out. Probably I would take Mrs. Jacks approach and once I was a certain way into the process (matched with a baby or birth mom) I'd make extra sure it didn't happen.
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 0 | 0 |
| Posts | 1 | 0 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
16 comments