I am looking for Nannies on Care.com, and there have been a handful of Mannies....I don't know why, but I wouldn't feel comfortable hiring a Manny period. Much less for my daughter...Is it weird that I find that weird?
Would you hire a Manny?
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I also looked on care.com. No way! I'm paranoid though.
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I thought you misspelled nanny! Ha! And no I wouldn't feel comfortable having a male watch my kid.
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I wouldn't completely rule it out, but it would take a little more interviewing and would depend on his personality, my gut feeling and overall vibe, and his references.
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Considering I wouldn't even hire a regular nanny, a manny is definitely out of the question
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Definitely not!
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If my kid was older, maybe. I used to babysit for a school age kid who loved things like chess and video games, two things I had no interest in. If my son grows up liking those things, I'd find a caretaker that could play them with him, whether it's male or female. I'd screen potential caretakers just as strenuously, regardless of their gender.
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No, I would not. Maybe if I had 2 boys, but not for 2 girls.
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Probably not!
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My parents hired a manny for my 3 year old brother. Before the manny, he already had 3 female nannies including one who lived with us. He was a college student studying to be a teacher and was recommended by the last nanny. There was a second manny in the neighborhood, he watched two brothers up the street.
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I would consider it. I'd be more likely to if he were gay, though, for some reason. I'm not sure why....
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@Arden: I was just thinking the same thing. I would hire a gay Manny if he seemed competent. I'm sure I'd hire any manny if he seemed to fit the bill.
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Threads like this bum me out,
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I would not.
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I think I would, as my brother has been a man-ny for several years now, and he's just as good at his job as anyone. I understand where some of the fears come in, but I definitely wouldn't rule someone out just because of their gender - I'd hate someone to do that to me!
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I would if he was qualified...why not? Men can be just as nurturing as women.
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@mrbee: man, me too. I would hire any qualified and awesome person, gender wouldn't enter into it.
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i would for a toddler! i think a manny might be more likely to be physically active and keep up. but not for a baby, but i wouldn't hire a female nanny for a baby either! i think i'll be a jealous mama, i wouldn't want anyone else spending that much time with my baby.
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@mrbee: I agree! I totally would. My husband nannied through the same agency as me when we were in college and the families loved having a young guy.
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@mrbee: I agree... I'm really confused as to what the issue would be if he's just as qualified/clean background check as a woman.
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I think it's just an uncomfortable feeling bc I have a daughter maybe? And a guy changing her diapers that's not her Dad, and being totally alone with her when I'm not around...It's hard enough to relinquish control of the most important thing in your life and put your whole world into ONE person's hands... It would be EXTRA hard to overcome the discomfort associated with all the things I just mentioned. It would just be too much. I'm a nervous wreck about it as it is, but I'm not ready to put her in daycare!
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I would definitely be less trusting and would be more comfortable when my child was better able to communicate. My husband said he'd be uncomfortable with the idea. It's just several stories of abuse around us at the hands of supposedly good citizens in our neighborhood came out right around the time we were expecting LO.
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@PrincessBaby: what about a gay manny?!?! haha
I would... might. I would have to REALLY like the guy and he would have to have stellar references. I have a son but even if I had a daughter I wouldn't have an issue. idk I just think that you saying another guy changing her diaper irks you kinda suggests you think all mannies would look at your daughter sexually and I really feel that is NOT the norm!!
Oh and if he did housework really well that would be a plus!!
However - I really don't think DH would go for it.
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I wouldn't hire any nanny that wasn't a personal recommendation from a trusted friend or family member. So given that gender wouldn't matter to me.
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I definitely think that with a baby who super busy and physically active like mine, a man-ny would be a better choice.
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At the infant stage no. I firmly believe there is a difference in how a woman is programmed to take care of a baby. Not all I bet there are some guys that would make a much better nanny than some women but nope wouldn't do it.
Now I would hire a guy for older kids. As long as I could be really clear with my expectations.
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Absolutely. My husband is an amazing care taker of our children, and I am fairly sure that he isn't the only man out there capable of it. Would I be careful of who I hired, regardless of sex? Heck yes. Would I discriminate based on it? Heck no.
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@MamaMoose: I agree!
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I don't understand what's the difference in terms of safety between a gay or straight manny? If you are worried about a child being molested then any and everyone is a suspect: SO, pastor, grand parent, cousin, day care provider, neighbor, teacher, friend's parents, coach, even your LO's siblings.
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I wouldn't hire a manny but I would consider a male babysitter when LO was older.
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If I did, I would have nanny cams (well, I would have nanny cams if I hired a female or male).
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I would. I don't think women are automatically better or more caring caregivers and I definitely wouldn't think a manny was having sexual thoughts about a baby while he was changing her diaper just because he's a man and the baby is female. My husband babysat a lot in college and it's a bummer that 20 years later so many people's first response is still to think men can't care as well for infants or that they all secretly want to molest babies.
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Without a doubt: NO
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@MRS. LEMON-LIME: It's strange, but on a subconcious level I feel like a gay man might be more nurturing to my daughter?? I has ZERO to do with fears of her being molested or abused, as that never crossed my mind in thinking about a male caretaker. It also might have something to do with the fact that my first daycare as a kiddo had a gay man and two women, and I loved that guy, he was my favourite according to my mom.
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@MsMini: hahaha when I read your comment I though it said, "with a baby who is super busy and physically attractive like mine" hahaha!
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@Mrs. Pen: Sawyer is a beautiful baby if I do say so myself
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@MsMini: hahaha he is ADORABLE, but it was funny to think you said that
it's almost 11 here... I'm beat!
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Hmm, interesting question. I don't know if I'd be comfortable w/a manny... but then again, I think b/c of my trust issues, I wouldn't be comfortable w/anyone!!
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@prettylizy: Next time I will reply to the specific poster. A couple people made a distinction regarding orientation, but only one mentioned an issue with changing diapers.
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I would, if he gave me the same good vibe as anyone else. Mr.Bee is right, this is kinda depressing. Reminds me of a friend if mine who couldn't make it as a male massage therapist because women were uncomfortable with it and men were very uncomfortable with it. It's really not fair.
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45 comments