DS is 9 and has been getting pimples - ugh!!!!!!
I bought some face wash and we have been using it and his face looks great. Problem is he HATES washing his face and wants to know why I care if he has pimples because he doesn't care and its his face
I told him I care because he needs to take care of his body.
The real reason is because kids are assholes and I don't want him being made fun of.
Would you insist your kid wash their face and keep it clear or let him be and have pimples?
squash / 13199 posts
@Mamaof2: I would just include it in his bathtime routine so he is using the facewash while taking a shower instead of his regular soap. This way he wont feel like its additional "work"
I dont have a 9 year old yet but it does seem really young to care about spots on his face.
nectarine / 2243 posts
Oooo tough given how he views it (and the kid makes a good point but alas, so do you re: kids being assholes). . I'm not at this phase yet, but I'd imagine I'd phrase it like other aspects of self-care like teeth brushing, eventual deodorant use, hair washing, etc. It is just something that needs to be done daily, especially as he gets older. . You could go a more "scientific"route if he gravitates towards that...oils increasing as skin changes, or if he is athletic and has to do an extra step bc of sweat etc.
good luck!
grapefruit / 4278 posts
I would make him wash his face. He's growing up and his body is changing and this is a new hygiene thing he needs to learn. You don't care that he has pimples, but the soap made them go away, which means his face was dirty. Just like I wouldn't let me kids walk around with dirty, greasy hair.
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
Yes, I would. I view this like any other aspect of personal hygiene. He could argue the same about they're his teeth so why do you care if he brushes them, it's his hair so why do you care if he washes it, etc. Can he wash it as part of his shower routine? I find that to be easiest.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Honestly, if my son didn't want to do it, I wouldn't force him, only because that typically has the opposite effect. I would frame it as part of his care routine and let him choose whre he does it, maybe in the shower, at night after he has brushed his teeth, etc. If this doesn't work, I would let him be and if kids make fun of him (because we know they will), he has to deal with that. Sometimes they have to have their own experience.
ETA: Is there a teen in the family that he could talk to about it? maybe someone closer to his own age?
persimmon / 1345 posts
Yes. I would. Not because of the whole what other people think (your son would prob learn this eventually the hard way) but because of the whole personal hygiene thing. Especially since face wash is alleviating the problem. If face wash didnt work and there was an underlying problem, I would ask my pediatrician.
When my daughter was 3, she got what looked like tiny pimples on her cheek. My pediatrician said it's kind of like pimples just without the oil part (that if she was a teenager would turn into oil). She prescribed cream (sorry..can't remember exactly what it was), we put a little on the face, and it went away. The pediatrician did mention that if the cream didn't work, she would refer us to a children's dermatologist.
kiwi / 518 posts
I would. You're helping him learn to make appropriate decisions before his brain is ready to make correct decisions on its own. I also didn't get a lot of guidance in this area myself and I wish I would have!
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
I feel like there's a difference between teaching kids about basic hygiene and more cosmetic/superficial issues. So like, I'd encourage it along with teeth brushing, showering, etc, though there's no way to really "force it," just encourage it to be part of his care routine. But it's different than like, making him get laser hair removal for a unibrow that he doesn't care about (something someone I know actually made her teenage son do...)
pomegranate / 3127 posts
If it's helping, I agree with making it part of his routine, but wouldn't make a big deal of it. If they're not making him self-conscious, that's actually a good thing.
pomelo / 5220 posts
I would definitely try my hardest to make him wash his face. I wish I had more guidance in this stuff as a kid. I was always trying to navigate it on my own (ex. shaving legs - how to do it, what to use, etc. - I wish my mom had just given me the stuff and been like do this...)
honeydew / 7463 posts
I would to just help set a routine as he gets older. Washing your face is part of personal hygiene.
Would it be a screaming battle every night with punishment and tears? No. But I would repeat over and over that it’s part of growing up and as you grow up you have to take care of your body differently (eventually deodorant, shaving, etc).
If he showers do you check in to make sure he’s doing what he’s supposed to? My sister has an 11yo and she still has to go in a few times and make sure he has actually washed his body and hair and isn’t just goofing around. So I would do that and add it as part of my questioning - did you wash your body with soap? Did you wash hair? Did you wash your face?
Also maybe his dad could explain it better? Like it’s part of becoming a man? I could definitely see my nephew responding better to his dad explaining why it’s important vs his mom just being a nag.
Is he too old for rewards? I don’t have a 9yo so I haven’t read that part of the manual yet 
pineapple / 12566 posts
I’m usually pretty matter of fact when explaining things to my LOs. I think I would frame it more like pimples are natural when your body starts to change, if you don’t like them you can use this xyz product to get rid of them, if you don’t care, so be it. I personally would probably add something like “when I was a kid” people got made fun of, since I would definitely want my kids to avoid that. And also leave the product where he can access it on his own so that if he does decide to use it, he can.
cantaloupe / 6131 posts
I would also frame it as a personal hygiene and self-care is she. I would also show pictures of acne scars and how they don’t really go away and tell him the better he takes care of his skin now, the healthier he will be and won’t have regrets later.
kiwi / 705 posts
So I would make him wash his face just as part of his normal routine, but I would also not tell him that washing his face means he won't get pimples. That might be the case now (and hopefully always for him!) but a lot of teenagers will get acne no matter how clean their face is. It all depends on his genetics.
I would also help him out by making sure you wash his pillow case ever 2-3 days, maybe switch to silk or satin pillowcases, make sure he's drinking plenty of water, etc. 9 is really young to be dealing with acne so I'd make it as easy as possible for him. Maybe have you or his Dad develop a routine where you wash your face together and he can see your good habits.
persimmon / 1196 posts
I would encourage him to use a face wash that seems to be helping, and continue to keep the conversation about it open, but I wouldn't force the issue. I agree with those who have mentioned that it's actually a good thing that he's not self-conscious about it, and I wouldn't want to cause him to be.
I bet if you give it some time, he will come around. When he learns about puberty in health class (5th grade here), they will talk about the causes of pimples, and new hygiene routines like wearing deodorant and using a dedicated face wash. This may help to normalize it for him and make him more willing to do it regularly. But if it doesn't, ultimately, it's his face, so I'd let him make the call.
I also agree with those who mentioned making it part of his shower routine. I have never washed my face separately from when I am taking a shower. I just found it to be annoying and messy.
squash / 13208 posts
@SweetiePie: rewards... yeah he said he would do it if I gave him $1 each night - hahah
@JCCovi: yes I have been changing his pillowcase mid week and told him he needs to drink more water - also like the idea of washing our face together!
honeydew / 7463 posts
@Mamaof2: hahahaha ok that’s a bit steep. I was thinking like a dollar for the week if he does it every night of the week. Or like a month straight and he gets a new toy.
honeydew / 7463 posts
@Mamaof2: Oh and what about like Neutrogena face wipes? They can be kept by his bed and he can just wipe his face when he gets into bed at night? I have some for the nights I’m really lazy or forgot and don’t want to get out of bed again. They work well!
squash / 13208 posts
@SweetiePie: tried - he said they were too girly - I was like what? Its a face wipe???
pomelo / 5524 posts
@Mamaof2: I like the idea of getting him something specifically designed for a guy. I would also push the issue as I see it as part of personal hygiene. His pimples could get infected if he doesn't take care of them, and that's a medical issue. It's like brushing your teeth...don't want cavities? Brush your teeth. Don't want to have to go to the doctor for an infected zit? Wash your face.
honeydew / 7463 posts
@Mamaof2: @2PeasinaPod: Was just perusing Kiehls for myself and remembered they have a men’s line! Might be able to find a little travel or sample kit that you can put in his stocking or wrap as a gift. (If you have a Kiehls or department store that sells near you). The packaging and names are very manly.
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