I think my breastfeeding journey is over and I feel so conflicted about it. I had no problems nursing DS1 for 15 months and no issues til DS2 turned 6 months and started solids. He's 9.5 months now so we had a good run.
I'm pretty sure he's not getting enough milk for a few reasons. 1. Pretty dry diapers 2. Terrible pulling on my nipples (never used to) 3. Only 7th percentile for height at the last 2 checkups but 65th for weight so he's a can of 
I really wanted to get to a year. We have brutal winters and he's starting daycare soon, so I know he will get very sick and I wanted to nurse for a year through that. I guess that's silly though.
I've been supplementing with formula (Baby's Only Organic) and he loves it, no issues at all.
Is it possible to nurse 3xs a day and supplement with formula? I feel like my supply is even lower now.
I don't want him to be hungry.
I'm just a little sad
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@pachamama: I stopped nursing my second around this time under similar circumstances, though my daughters weight was always low. I went 13 months with my first so felt sort of guilty but had been trying to pump etc and it was just not at all enjoyable any more. It was such a relief when I actually stopped that I wished I had done it sooner. It took away so much anxiety and my relationship with her is still really close. Good luck whatever way you try to go, for me it just sort of happened that we stopped and she wasn't really interested anymore so I didn't try to keep nursing morning and night.
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@KNS: thank.you. yeah nine to ten months seems to be a very common age to stop. They are so much more distracted. I guess two months isn't going to make that much of a difference immunity wise. That's my biggest concern. He's not a snuggler or really attached to my boobs and frankly I don't want him to be because I don't want it to be a bad transition to wean him.
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Do you think there’s a particular reason that your supply tanked? Bf’ing was / is extremely important to me so I would probably keep nursing but I’m wondering if there’s a bf’ing group or LLL chapter in your area that could give you some in person help?
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@KNS: this !
@pachamama: with my girl (second baby) my supply TANKED at about 8.5 months, and we made it to 9.5 months before I finally threw in the towel. At my prime I was pumping 10oz and when I finally quit it was like you, about 2, if that. She was already getting a lot of formula to supplement and was strong on solids and water, and she just wasn't that interested in nursing. Then her top two teeth came through and she became a major-league biter, and bit me for about a month. I kept pumping and pumping in vain, and then when I weaned it was a relief, and I'm telling you the baby didn't care in the least, she was so done with it.So yeah, I think you should quit and it sounds like you have bigger fish to fry than fighting this particular uphill battle. If your supply is as low as it sounds, it makes me wonder how beneficial the breastmilk will really be for his immunity, anyway--plus I've always heard that's most important/helpful in the first three months of life. But maybe since that's what's so important to you, you should call you ped and ask what they think is a realistic assessment.
ETA like you guys I also made it the full year with my first baby and had the requisite guilt for #2 getting shortchanged, etc etc. I forget who but some angel/genius on HB was like, let that shit go, and I'm happy to report it's totally possible to let it go
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If it helps, this is a great article that really dives into the purported benefits of breastfeeding in terms of preventing sickness, etc. The gist is that in a developed nation with ready access to clean water, the benefits are not significant and most occur in the earlier months. https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/
Personally, my first was EBF. With my second, I introduced formula just before seven months so I could pump less at work. It's gone very well, and I feel really free from worrying about getting exactly enough. I now pump twice instead of three times, she gets 18 ounces of a mix of breastmilk and formula at daycare in whatever ratio, and that's that! It sounds like this is creating a lot of undue stress, so please be kind to yourself. If you want to quit, don't feel guilt, it's absolutely not warranted!
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@Kemma: so I think my supply tank for a few reasons. My right boob basically never made milk, he's very distracted by his brother, we gave him too many solids, and he sleeps 11 hours (night weaned at 5.5months). I'm not sure how helpful a breastfeeding group would be for a 10 month old, I've done everything to try to increase my supply for the last 3 months
@LCTBQE: that's true, it's probably so little it's not providing much antibodies at this point. I think I will feel free once I stop. I just wanted it to be on my terms, not my lazy right boob's.
Also, my pediatric group is completely unhelpful in terms of lactation. I would never even think to ask them for help in this case. They'd be like "AAP guidelines...". They offer nothing unique. -
@pachamama: do you use facebook? I have a good facebook group that's basically about evidence-based feeding. They have a lot of info/studies that basically amount to "fed is best," and they support either method!
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Ds1 had many nursing strikes, but the last one was right at 10 months. I was so frustrated with it all we just stopped. He drank cows milk and frozen breast milk after that, no formula, and was a champ at solids. I tried to remind myself that 12 months is an arbitrary number and 10 months was close enough for us.
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@pachamama: I was thinking they might at least be able to help with his physical latch so he’s at least not trying to rip off your nipples!
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Haven't read the other responses... but my personal view on this is that as long as you are both enjoying the nursing relationship (on average - it always has its moments!), supply is secondary. Supplementing is NBD and the most important thing you are both getting out of it is a bond that you enjoy. If either baby or mom are not enjoying it, then you may well be better off weaning. My LO is 21 months. He LOVES breastfeeding (at wakeup, bedtime, and sometimes before/after weekend naps since 12 months old). My supply has never been great (I had to supplement), then I got pregnant, and by 20 weeks it was just colostrum. I'm 32 weeks now and he's still obsessed, and it has absolutely nothing to do with milk, given it dried up a long time ago and it's not like he can be getting that much nourishment from the colostrum. For us it's about an emotional bond, but there's lot of other ways to have that bond instead... Also FWIW I think the immune benefits on average are pretty minimal for older babies who already have a well-functioning immune system of their own.... and are being exposed to tons of stuff at daycare before you have been exposed and made antibodies....
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@pachamama: my son weaned when I wasn’t ready and I definitely felt sad for a couple days. He basically started refusing during sleep training (which we waited wayyyyy too long for) because he was mad at me or something. It was not how I wanted it to end, but fairly quickly I felt ok about being done. I didn’t want it enough to keep pushing. So I totally get the sadness and it’s ok to just walk through that.
I’d only keep trying if you sometimes enjoy it, which kind of sounds like a no but I’m not sure. Like right now sometimes I’m stressed out by nursing and sometimes I love the cuddles so it feels worth it. But my currently bf 14 month old has been sick 3x in the past two weeks and like the studies above show I think whatever will be will be with illness at this age.
Hugs - it’s hard!
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@Kemma: Haha yes my poor nipples. He always had a great latch but he's sucking so hard to get milk and not much is coming out, that's the issue
@periwinklebee: yeah if he and/or I liked it more it'd be one thing but he really does not seem to enjoy nursing. I'm not sure he ever has, he's very "busy". We bonded well; he's obsessed with me, unlike ds1. -
@bhbee: Yeah the first year at daycare for my son who was BFed 15 months was a shitshow, sick aaaalll the time. And he's sick a lot now but I will say it's never too severe. So who knows. I just feel like every time I nurse DS2 is a little hungry and frustrated and at almost 10 months, it doesn't seem worth it
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In your shoes, I'd stop in a heartbeat. There's such little benefit to breast milk at this age and it would probably do wonders for your mental health not to have those hormones.
I'd probably only nurse when he asks and do it for comfort, not nutrition. Then let him decide when he's done.
You did a fantastic job getting this far. You got through the most important part. There's almost no benefit at this point
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