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I would prefer help with the morning rush.

Personally, I'd probably like the variety of having her there some mornings and some afternoons....maybe she could come on the mornings you're sending both kids to school (so have more of a rush), but come and stay later on the days only DS1 goes to school? It's a tricky choice, because those are obviously the two hardest times of the day, especially with multiple kids.

While I SAH, our kids are really similar ages/school situations. I'm considering hiring someone to walk DD1 to school, and possibly pick her up in the afternoons, particularly while it's cold and LO3 is young. If I only choose one time for help, it'll be the morning....simply because it means that the baby and I won't have to be dressed/fed to leave the house, which saves a lot of work. I think that even though evenings are stressful, the extra hands wouldn't always help at dinner/bed time. It's just a crazy time because everyone is tired and a little grumpy, not because there is so much to do. In the morning, there is actually a checklist of tasks that need to happen, and a second adult could help get through it faster (or could distract one kid so they don't destroy the house while I"m helping the other one get ready).

Evening. My kids are fairly good about being self sufficient in the mornings. At the end of the day when everyone is tired though, ugh, it gets messy.

Personally, I find the evening rush much more stressful. Your kids don't have to be at school till 8:30 so there's plenty of time in the mornings with early risers. I would personally prefer having her for help all 4 evenings.

With little ones my mornings were soo hectic - I would have loved help!

So I vote mornings now and when older I would prefer evenings.

Can you do a week of each and see which you prefer?

Evenings would be my preference as well. I find that we are all a little exhausted at the end of the day and generally more grumpy.

probably after school.

Afternoons. I'm so tired, she wants to play, I have to cook dinner, Ifeel overwhelmed coming home with a long list of stuff to do and put away......
mornings can be crazy, but I feel way less.... Defeated. By the end of my work days I feel like I'm just going to have to start crawling on my hands and knees if one little thing goes wrong (dramatic much?). The days my husband makes it home a little early are so much easier.

If I could have help at the end of the day now, I totally would. So that gets my vote. With a little planning ahead, it's easy enough to get out the door with young kids but by the end of the day both of mine totally seem to crumble emotionally so any extra help during that stressful time would be amazing.

I would totally want more evening help! I have done mornings on my own for so long that it is fine (long but fine) and evenings are definitely harder with bathing everyone and trying to stick to bedtime routines and schedules.

One semester in college I was a nanny with split shifts. My good friend was their full time nanny but she was doing a semester abroad. I went over at 6:30am made breakfast while the mom got ready, then woke the kids, fed them breakfast, got them ready, and dropped them at preschool at 9. I then picked them up at 3 and watched them until 7. Depending on the day I would strictly be on kid duty while the mom prepped dinner and organized things for the next day or we would switch and she would have time with the kids while I did the dinner and prep.

I would not want to do that schedule indefinitely but it was fine for a set period of time.

@winniebee: ohhh, I just saw that you said hubby should be home to help with bath and bed. That makes a big difference!

In theory, I would prefer the help later in the day. I find it really hard to prep/cook dinner with cacophony around me, which is pretty much our life from 4-6p Plus, on the days when you have had a chance to prep earlier, or it's a leftovers/takeout/easy dinner type of day...and assuming you aren't working...you could always do something with one of the older LOs (a class, etc) and not have to worry about bringing the younger one(s). So you get some built in flextime.

However, the logistics of drop-off get a little crazy with 3 kids on 3 different school/nap/etc schedules. So I think in your case, for now, I'd probably pick to have the help in the morning. Once the youngest one is on a 2-nap schedule, you might find that mornings aren't too bad anymore and the help later would be better.

In the morning, hands down.

Evening for sure. I do dropoff and pickup and pickup is always way harder. The kids are tired and so pick up can get draining. Mornings are usually okay since I just do a quick dropoff

@winniebee: I'm a little split - I think it depends on the new baby - what time baby wakes up (in relation to your other kids), how well they sleep, and how much sleep you are getting.

Personally, I'd probably get help in the mornings. If I start out on the right foot, the rest of the day usually follows. On the days where everything goes wrong by 9am and I don't seem to ever recover my day.

Could you do mornings for a week then afternoons for a week, then decide what works best for you?

I would start off in the mornings and when you get a routine down, switch her to afternoons evenings if you think that would help. Give yourself permission to do nothing but crockpot dinners, PBJs, chicken nuggets/fish sticks and other super easy meals for the first 3-6 mo to keep dinner time easy and lose some screen time guilt. When baby starts sleeping a bit better and you've gotten things a little more under control, switch to help in the evenings cause that's when kids are a little more chaotic and you are wore out.