Have you traveled without your children? How old were they?
How did you prepare for the trip for child and YOU?
Was it domestic or international?
How long?
Any tips?
Thanks!
Have you traveled without your children? How old were they?
How did you prepare for the trip for child and YOU?
Was it domestic or international?
How long?
Any tips?
Thanks!
grapefruit / 4045 posts
Good luck planning this! I can't bear to even leave my girl during her bedtime. I did leave her for one night when she was 13 months old to attend a very good friend's wedding in in the next county over. My husband went out for a few nights and I went out for one night. My sister stayed at my house with my baby for the night. No prep necessary for her. And not much prep necessary for me since it was a short trip. Good luck to you! I admire parents who are able to leave their kids since I just can't hardly stand to do it!
pomelo / 5573 posts
Once, for work. I went for three nights to Ottawa, which is less than an hour flight. I talked to them a lot in advance about how I was going to be gone for a few sleeps, that daddy would be here with them and I’d call them every day. It was actually much harder for me than it was for them, I think, they were pretty unphased by it. They were 3.5 and 1.5.
persimmon / 1114 posts
Yup several times for mini-vacations with my husband. The first time was when my oldest was 1.5. The youngest I’ve left one of them was when my youngest was 6 months. Usually the trips have ranged from 2-5 days in length. Typically though, it has been a 4 day weekend.
For most of the trips, my in laws came and stayed at our house so the kids’ routines were not disrupted at all.
For the 5 day trip, we did FaceTime everyday, but my son seemed oblivious and was too busy enjoying his mini-vacation with Grammy and pop pop to pay much attention to us!
My oldest is a worrier, so we actually don’t tell him too much in advance, but only because we know from experience he will be fine!
Good luck planning and have fun! It was always really hard to leave them, but I think it is also so important to have a chance to reconnect with your spouse as well.
kiwi / 554 posts
DD is 20 months old, and we have taken a few trips. DH and I have done a couple overnights (starting when she was about 10 months old), and I was away for 4 nights for work when she was 13 months old. Luckily, my mom has been able to watch her, and DD absolutely LOVES these "mini-vacations" at Nana's house. It's definitely been harder for me than it is for her. I think videochatting a few times a day is super important - I even read her a book at bedtime over videochat.
Next week I'm going away for 7 nights for work, with DH joining me for the last 3 nights. That's going to be tough!!! But I know she'll enjoy the time alone with DH and then with Nana.
It's really hard emotionally to be away from her, but I also feel like it helps recharge my batteries to be able to take some time just for myself/DH. I'm a better mother when I get back. Self-care is so important!
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
We went away for a weekend when my older was two, as a baby moon before the next one. My mom came and stayed with her at our place. I missed her a little bit we all had a great time. I was in the hospital three days having her sister and that was the longest I’ve been away. We have done a couple of single nights for a wedding or once just because the opportunity to leave them both at my parents house presented itself and we took it!
The hardest part for the first year and change was the baby wouldn’t take a bottle and was used to nursing before bed. Now that that’s done we would take a longer trip in a heartbeat, but we just don’t have anyone local to watch them.
coconut / 8483 posts
We've done mostly separate trips (1-2 nights) so the kids are with the other parent.
Then this summer my best friend got married so my in laws came and stayed at our house with the kids from Friday-Sunday. Everyone did great and having a kid free weekend for the first time in over three years was freaking amazing.
Since then we've done a couple one night trips for other weddings, etc.
My mom would probably watch them for a couple nights. But both time she watched them for one night she had plans the next day we had to rush back for to get the kids. And my in laws did great but they admitted after they thought they were going to die of exhaustion
persimmon / 1270 posts
I left my oldest for 8 days when he was almost 2. It was a long time, but he handled it well. We didn't do much FaceTime because it was more confusing to him then helpful.
I left north of them for 5 days this fall at 13 months and 2.5. that trip was hard on me because I had to pump all the time.
Both trips they had there normal babysitter who is amazing and my husband after work.
pear / 1728 posts
Yes - a few times. I had three long work trips when DD was 12, 13, and 14 months old. Those were each about a week long and were really tough on me but not her (she was home with DH). Lots of face timing helped me.
DH and I also went on a vacation together for 4 nights when she was 18 months old.
pomelo / 5084 posts
@cake2017: Speaking as someone who is currently on vacation with a two year old, yes. Yes I would.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
I know a couple that goes on kid-free vacations at least once a year, but that's just not for me at this stage, especially since I nursed lo1 for almost 2 years and am still nursing lo2. Maybe when the baby is about 2.5 and *they* see it as a fun trip to their grandparents too!
I've only been away from lo1 overnight for 2 work trips when she was 21 months (and that was 10 nights internationally, and rough! I was still nursing though didn't pump becasue I thought we would wean...) and then 2 nights when she was 25 months. And then the 3rd time was when I gave birth to lo2, and that was the first time she was away from both dh and 1 (she was 2y10m). We had talked about going on a babymoon before lo2 was born and I think she could have handled it by then, but the timing didn't work out. I still haven't been away from lo2 overnight and she's 11 months.
persimmon / 1427 posts
We've traveled away from our kids several times starting when LO1 was 3 months old (1 night away for a wedding, she stayed with my parents and did great, I was EBFing, but pumped and she did great with a bottle).
Until both kids were 2, the longest we'd been away was 3 days, 2 nights. We've been gone 5 days 4 nights, but not longer. They stay with my parents and do great.
We haven't done an international trip yet.
My parents are awesome and keep the kids overnight every couple of months (so its not a big deal for the kids to stay with them).
To prepare, we always tell the kids we're going and talk about how much fun they'll have at their grandparents house. We facetime daily. The hardest part (now) is packing all the stuff and writing out all the things my parents need to keep track of (show and tell day, library day, theme dress up days, etc).
For your first trip away, if you are anxious, don't let it show. Your kids will pick up on it and it will make leaving them sooo much harder.
Other tips - especially if you are flying, be vague on when you'll be back (you don't want to promise you'll be home in time to tuck them in because your plane may be delayed and then your kids may be very upset). I'll say "we'll be home on Thursday night after you go to bed, but we'll give you a kiss while you are sleeping and we'll have a special breakfast the next morning"). Our kids know the days of the week, so we talk in advance about how many days we'll be gone, and what they'll be doing when we're away (school, birthday party, special activity with their grandparents, etc).
Good luck!
apricot / 325 posts
We went away for 4 nights when DS was 11.5 months. It was domestic, but we were in Hawaii, so still pretty far. All of us handled it better than I thought we would...the grandparents stayed with DS in our home and he continued going to daycare as usual, and DH and I were able to relax and have fun.
We’re going to Europe for a week this spring without DS (he will be 17/18 months) and I’m a little worried he’ll be more aware we’re gone, but he loves spending time with his grandparents.
The one tip I would have is be clear about your expectations on communication...there was a couple hour period after we landed in Hawaii that we couldn’t get a hold of MIL, and it was incredibly stressful and upsetting. Turns out she had left her phone in her car 🙄.
Have a good time! I think it’s so important for parents to be able to get away and reconnect
persimmon / 1420 posts
Many, many times. I feel it is good for our marriage. The first was when my twins were 17 months old, and we went to Mexico for 5 days. There have been multiple overnight trips, and I go on a 4 day trip with my 4th graders every spring. This summer, we are going to Italy for 2.5 weeks, and the kids are going camping with Grandma.
pomegranate / 3231 posts
I told my boss I was not going to travel for work before 12mo. At 14mo I went on my company's annual offsite to Mexico for three nights. It was fine. I had my son spend one of the three nights at my parents' house because I figured he would notice my absence less.
persimmon / 1082 posts
@agold: Thank you! I have been away from him for 4 days when he was just 3months old. I cried on the way to the airport. However, it was the best thing I did. DH and I had an amazing time!
persimmon / 1082 posts
@meganmp: We may be doing Europe as well. I don’t know. He will be 12 months. He will be home with my mom like before. She watches him so he will be comfortable. I just don’t know if I can be away from him for a week?!!!? However, like I mentioned above time with my DH is priority as well and self care! Sigh*
persimmon / 1082 posts
@Kitkat: Thats wonderful! Yes communication is key! When we went away before I stressed that they have their phones with them all the time ha!
Thank you for sharing this.
persimmon / 1082 posts
@Bluebonnet: My parents stay at our house to watch LO. I breastfeed too and pumped when i went away. It was annoying but worth it. IF we go away it will be longer and he we will 12 months.... facetime is an option so i will keep that in mind. Thank you for the other tips!
nectarine / 2262 posts
I totally would if I could. Maybe not for a long long time, but definitely for 3-4 nights. I would give anything for my husband and I to be able to have a child free weekend getaway!
honeydew / 7463 posts
Yes many times. With friends and with DH. He’s 3yo and I’ve been away too many times to count. Actually DH and I have gone away 3 times this year alone and I’ve gone away by myself with friends at least 3 times. Longest was 5 nights.
I think it’s healthy for everyone. It gets me/us much needed adult time. We do regular date nights but a long weekend away really brings us closer and helps us recharge. And I miss DS more.
It’s good for my son because he gets used to being without us so it’s nbd when we are away (or for example when I’m away for 3 nights when I have his brother in March). He gets great quality time with his grandparents. He learns that we will always come back. He sees that his parents have a life besides him and love to spend time together, which I think is very healthy.
I mean, none of this is scientific, it’s just what I’ve come to realize over the years.
First time we left he was 5/6 months. We went on a 5 or 6 night trip in Anguilla. So it was international. Sure I was nervous, but he was with my mom who I trust. And I knew I wanted to be able to travel without him so the sooner we started the better. We also were gifted the trip and had a deadline to take it by! so that helped. That was great because he had no idea we were gone. Too young to miss us. He didn’t skip a beat. That trip and I’d say until 18 months or 2yo we didn’t do anything to prep him.
Once he got old enough to notice more, 18/24 months, I told him a day or so before that mommy was going on a trip for X bedtimes but I’d be back on Y day and I’d have a special treat for him (toy, candy, etc). He has always been fine. Oh and I always say goodbye. Just disappearing isn’t a good idea. So if I’m leaving while he’s asleep I make sure I tell him I’ll be gone when he wakes and say my goodbyes then.
Yes he has a moment each trip where he says he missed me and maybe cried a little. But my mom and MIL said that once he was distracted he was fine. And I don’t think missing me is a bad thing. Just like me missing him makes me appreciate him more.
pomelo / 5258 posts
@cake2017: I traveled for work 1-3 nights away starting when LO1 was 4 months. My LOs were always fine. I had a couple issues forgetting parts and clogged ducts. Once LO1 got pneumonia while I was on a trip. It was actually better that I was gone I think. DH (who is a capable caregiver) was so entrenched in the illness and taking things hour by hour and day by day. I flew in, saw she was still sick, got all mana bear and whisked her to the doctor. I probably wouldn’t have if I had been slogging it out watching her at home all that time.
My kids are 4.5 and 2.5 yo now and we’re planning a five day vacation without them in a few months.
cherry / 175 posts
@MrsADS: I couldn't agree more... I would give anything to have a child free getaway weekend with my husband... Maybe one day...
persimmon / 1082 posts
@SweetiePie: Yes! I agree that time with DH is very important. Reading this helped a lot. This trip will be international so I guess I’m just nervous. I also just want him to be with me! I know he will be safe at home with my mom and his aunts. I just have to remember “me time and hubby time”!
nectarine / 2243 posts
Yes we’ve done two big trips. One 10 days to a wedding in a third world country plus 5 days in the Greek islands on the way back when LO was 2.5
The first was a trip for me to visit DH when he was working in South America. I was gone for a week. LO was 1 year.
Both were amazing trips but my parents are fantastic and totally on it for tag teaming my kiddo.
pomelo / 5509 posts
Yes, for 1 week when she was 9 months old. No real prep needed for her since she had no clue what was going on. DH took the whole week off work to stay with her so that made everything a lot easier, too. We did a lot of FaceTime and the hardest part for me (aside from being away from her) was maintaining a pumping schedule.
grapefruit / 4584 posts
@cake2017: I've been away from my kids (now 5.5, 3.5, and 15 months) at LEAST once a year for the past 5 years, and don't regret it one bit. Sometimes I've gone with my husband (longer trips, up to 10 days), sometimes away with a friend (shorter weekend/overnight trips). I thought it would be a lot harder than it was, but I have to say that I really didn't miss them like I expected I would (though it felt great to see them when I got home). Pretty much all of the trips have been international. I think the key is your comfort level with the person watching your LO, and their comfort level in making decisions for the child if necessary. We may be in the minority, but we choose not to Facetime much (or sometimes at all) when we're away - it seems easier for everyone involved that once the kids get into the groove of doing things with their grandparents, we let them roll with it.
pomelo / 5628 posts
We do lots of trips, sometimes just an overnight or weekend, but the longest together was 8 nights. Lo loves his cousins and grandma and so I feel like it’s a win win for everyone. My biggest tip is to start getting kids comfortable with sleeping at relatives’ houses early. We never had an issue because it was normal to him.
persimmon / 1082 posts
@PinkElephant: How old were your children when you traveled internationally?
LO would be 12 months if so go... i’m scared he will think we aren’t coming back or something...
any tips?
pineapple / 12566 posts
The first time I left my son overnight was at 16 months for 2 nights. It was and international trip, but I was living in France at the time and we went to the Netherlands by car. For the past 3 years or so my DH and I have managed to do overnight trips for 2-3 nights at a time maybe 2 times a year and my LOs always stay with my ILs. Last year when we were still living in Austria, my DH took my LOs (then 3 and 6) to France to stay with my ILs for 2 weeks, and he came back after 2 nights. So 2 weeks is the longest I’ve ever been away from them. It was so wierd to have my kids gone for such a long time!
pineapple / 12566 posts
@PinkElephant: @SweetiePie: agree about not FaceTiming too much. The first time we left my daughter with my ILs (she was 2 at the time) she would freak out and cry every time we FaceTimed. It was better for everyone not too and she was perfectly content with her grandparents when she didn’t see us.
honeydew / 7463 posts
@cake2017: Here’s the thing: your LO most likely will not think that you aren’t coming back. Especially if you talk about it before you go and don’t just disappear (though I think 12 months is too young to explain things like that, and I think that’s to your advantage and why I think he still won’t notice much that you’re gone). However, even if he does think mom is not coming back the only way for him to learn that isn’t true is for you to go and then come back. Does that make sense? So even if he thinks it for a few days, which again is pretty unlikely, you will be back. And that’s how he learns that it’s OK for mommy and daddy to go away. If you don’t go away because you’re afraid that he’ll think you’re not coming back then you’ll never go away and he’ll never learn that it’s OK for you to go away and you’ll always come back.
I hope I making sense I’m doing talk to text as I walk in the freezing cold. Ha ha.
grapefruit / 4584 posts
@cake2017: The first time I left DD1, it was for an overnight (less than 24 hours) from Hong Kong to Singapore and back; she was with my husband. At that time we lived overseas, and didn't have family in the country to watch our children, so we didn't travel together, but I had 1-2 girls weekends in that time. I think those were after I had stopped breastfeeding, because i don't remember having to pump. We also had a nanny, and were comfortable leaving her for full-day excursions when it wasn't suitable to bring my eldest daughter - we did that a few times. The first time we both left the kids was once we moved back to the US and had family available - kids were newly 3 years and 14 months (I had just stopped breastfeeding DD2); we went to Italy together for just over a week; then we travelled domestically for a weekend when they were 3.5 and a few months shy of 2; for a 5 day babymoon (baby #3; we went to Bermuda) when they were 4 and not quite 2.5 years. We took a short 4-5 day trip up to Canada this summer, when they were 5, 3 and 10 months. DD3 was still breastfed; I pumped 2-3 times a day while I was gone and brought back the milk. Surprisingly, it wasn't a hassle (I thought it might be - but we were on a very laid back schedule, weren't trying to do much other than relax, hike a little, and eat great food, and had our own vehicle, so it wasn't like I was on a tour bus hiding in a bathroom to pump). We are leaving all three girls again this spring for about 8-9 days; they'll be almost 6, almost 4, and almost 18 months.
The hardest trip was DD2 when she was 15 months old - she missed me a lot and was kind of ticked/confused when I came back. I expect a similar reaction from DD3 this time. But leaving was never bad - we always did quick goodbyes, often at a restaurant after a meal (they'd go home with the grandparents; we'd go to the airport) or at a halfway point between our homes. As they are older, anticipation is a little rough..we try not to talk about it til it's very close. My 5.5 year old overheard me talking about our upcoming trip, and I've had to tell her it isn't even planned yet because she wants every.single.detail, and I don't want her stressing unnecessarily. This will be the first time they've done a long stay with someone else watching them in our home while they go about their normal routine - usually they go to their grandparents' summer house and do a whole bunch of fun things. We'll see how it goes, but I didn't feel like I could take them out of school for the whole week.
grapefruit / 4584 posts
@cake2017: Best tip is to rip the band aid off and do it! As others say, if you don't proved to him that you will come back, and he may even have fun while you're gone, it won't necessarily get easier as he gets older. Because then he'll be like my 5 year old and think he gets to negotiate/have a say in it. As I mentioned above, my then-fourteen month old was mad at me/clingy with my MIL for a good 12-24 hours when I came home after that first trip, but honestly, it was in part just a testament to how well taken care of she was with my in-laws. She got over it quickly and still loves me (and is now pretty ok with me taking these trips, as long as she gets a present, haha).
persimmon / 1082 posts
@PinkElephant: Thank you for sharing that! If you did all that traveling with three kids I should be fine with just my LO :). If I did 5 days without at 3 months I guess 10 days will be okay?!
persimmon / 1082 posts
@SweetiePie: It makes sense! I guess I am thinking too much about it! This is several months away too!
persimmon / 1082 posts
@PinkElephant: I guess I have to! I’m just stuck on the “international part” and possibly 10 days away from LO :(. but I need to hold onto the purpose of the trip and the company! (my DH)
grapefruit / 4584 posts
@cake2017: How far away is "international"? In my case, thus far I probably could have been home within a day if it were a true emergency (5-6 hour flights). We're considering some longer trips (me going with DH for work trips to Asia, where we used to live)...but I wouldn't have wanted to start with those, since it's a full day of travel to get home even in the best case scenario, should that need arise.
Is there any way you can do a practice run to build your confidence?
And just to give you a little bit of an out
it certainly is easier on my kids now that they have each other when we're away. But your LO will get loved on so much by his caretakers and do so much fun stuff - it definitely can become a tradition that children look forward to. My girls have told me a few times they want to go to their grandparents summer home and me to go away so they can do xyz (zoo trip, boat rides, etc.) - ha!
My only rule has been that the grandparents don't get to do any "firsts" as part of fun activities - like they couldn't give them their first ice cream, or take them to the zoo the first time, or something like that. That way I don't feel like I missed out.
persimmon / 1082 posts
@PinkElephant: I’ve been away from him for 5 days. He was 3 months though.... I believe he knew ha. But it was a great trip for hubby and I.
If we go it would be Greece and possibly Rome. So that’s a long flight. IF we go i will have everything set up like before for safety/ emergencies. He won’t be leaving the house except for walks so it minimizes the chances....
Yes we trust my mom so that helps and she watches him now so he’s comfortable.
I just want him to “ be okay” and not feel abandoned... but i think this is all in my head. Thank you so much for the input it has helped a lot!!!!
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