I burst out into tears today because my mom told me that I need to spend more time with DD1. Seriously? DD2 is 5 days old and I am feeding, supplementing, and pumping every 3 hours. It would be fantastic to spend more time with DD1, but is that realistic right now?
She told me to stop crying and that I am too hormonal.
Argh!!!!!!!!!!
coconut / 8299 posts
Oh no. 
Don't let your mom make you feel guilty. You're doing the best you can right now. It's HARD taking care of two kids, especially when one of them is a brand new newborn. I was totally crying when I got home from the hospital because I felt guilty about not spending enough time with my son. But there's not much you can do about that! You have to feed your baby around the clock so there isn't much time to spend with the first. It'll pass though. Hang in there!!!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@banana: yeah, I have already been trying to be strong and not cry about missing out on DD1 time. To have my mom say that to be just brought on the waterworks in 1 millisecond!
honeydew / 7444 posts
Oh no!! Is she usually like this? I can't imagine how hard it is with 2...she should be more understanding, especially in the first week!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@caffeinated: yes, I have a long history of problems with my mom!
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
Oh my! You are doing an excellent job! It's been five days!! You will all adjust to your new normal soon.
My mom also seemed baffled by my crying fits right after the baby was born. She kept trying to send me out of the house (away from my baby!) because for some reason she thought a trip to the grocery store would "snap me out of it".
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Oh no!!! You are doing a great job!
My mom is always telling me that she wants to take LO for 1-2 months after Baby 2 is born because she thinks I will ignore E!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@MamaMoose: gosh, I guess they felt just fine and dandy after they had us? no sympathy! my mom only had me so she doesn't know what having 2 kids is like either.
@autumnlove: shaking my head .... it is called "ignore" - it is called having no time to even take a sh*t!! seriously, i think i held my poo in for half the day today.
coconut / 8299 posts
@Andrea: It's hard to hear that when you already feel so guilty inside! But it totally totally gets better! You'll have plenty of DD1 time soon. Plus, just think about how much fun DD1 will have with her baby sister!!! 
And yes, you're probably dealing with hormones but that's normal! My OB told me that this hormone surge is nature's way of allowing the mom to bond with the baby. So you're supposed to be hormonal!
pear / 1965 posts
I'm sorry dear that is not fair. You know your doing your best and new babies are so time demanding. 5 days, good grief! Brush it off darlin! That was just a cruel and not needed comment.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
@Andrea: You should have your dad keep mom away!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Sorry Hun! I felt super guilty for spending more time with DS so I made dh feed and take care of him while I hung out with dd.
it's so hard to give both kids equal attention!
Hope your mom stops giving you grief!
cantaloupe / 6397 posts
Yikes, she seems like a peach! I'm sorry, I don't have any LOs, but I definitely think she's out of line. You're doing the best you can
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@Andrea: awwww hugs!!! Haven't been there yet but I'm sure you're doing great!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@banana: it was always just DD1 and me throughout the week so it's a big adjustment not to see her very much. she's totally on team daddy for the first time ever!
@Rescuemom10: yes, brushing it off. I just went to speak to her and be the bigger person. She acted like nothing ever happened. Brushing it off, brushing it off ....
@autumnlove: my dad won't touch our drama with a 10 ft pole! he likes to stay blissfully clueless! smart guy.
@chopsuey119: that's the advantage to pumping! I gotta get my milk flowing so DH can feed DD2. Had a bunch of seaweed today!
@sslm: hehe, yes, a real peach!
@regberadaisy: thanks hon!! hope you're doing ok, too. miss ya!
bananas / 9973 posts
Yikes! Well, obviously she doesn't know what it's like to have 2 LOs to care for and honestly probably has no recollection what it's like right after birth and hormones - it's been so long! Hang in there mama, you're doing EXCELLENT!
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
Tell her to shut it! You're seriously doing the best you can and I'm sure DD1 understands!
pineapple / 12234 posts
Oh goodness, I'm sorry it is such a big adjustment to have a second baby and there is enough pressure on you without someone saying something like that. *hugs*
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Boooo, your mom is mean!!! I'm sorry that you have to deal with that when you already feel guilty enough as is! My SIL had her dad take her son for a week after her daughter was born since she knew she wouldn't be able to focus on him at all. No one seemed to think it was weird! It's totally normal that you have to spend all this extra time and effort on the new baby!!! Don't let your mom make you feel bad! *hug*
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