Hellobee Boards


WWYD: If you suspected an eating disorder?

  • poll: What would you do?
    Mind your own damn business. : (103 votes)
    96 %
    Ask her directly. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Mention to someone else from her office in the bathroom about possible pregnancy? : (2 votes)
    2 %
    other, post below. : (1 votes)
    1 %
  1. .twist.

    pineapple / 12802 posts

    @yoursilverlining: Thanks! That may work. I'll think about it a little more and see how I feel in a few days but I like this as an option.

  2. daniellemybelle

    cantaloupe / 6669 posts

    I feel like @yoursilverlining's suggestion is a good idea if you just have to do something.

    I would probably mind my own business, though. I'm not super religious but in those situations I will usually say a prayer because that is the only thing I can really think to do for them.

  3. babypugs

    persimmon / 1101 posts

    I think I would write an anonymous note to HR, possibly not even mentioning names. Perhaps someone on staff is trained to handle difficult personnel problems of the emotional variety? Honestly, I don't think I could stand going into the bathroom knowing there was a good chance I'd see, smell, or hear vomit, and there's a good chance that it's stressing others out as well. Tough situation...I'm sorry you have to deal with it!

  4. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    I would consider going to HR but maybe after watching a bit longer and getting more evidence. If she's pregnant you would know in a few weeks. If not, that gives you some time to watch and put up the sign.

  5. HabesBabe

    grapefruit / 4400 posts

    Do nothing, seriously. Don't put up signs, don't leave pamphlets, don't talk to HR. The best thing you can do is stop the gossip cycle and no longer bringing it up to other women in the office.

  6. Mrs. Lemon-Lime

    wonderful pea / 17279 posts

    Bathroom cleanliness falls under building maintenance. I'd send them a letter in writing about your concerns- smell, flushing etc. Let them put up signs, add air freshners, and increase cleaning. After the letter campaign clog up their voicemail until they take action.

    @HabesBabe: agree with you on the gossip.

  7. Applesandbananas

    pomegranate / 3845 posts

    I think putting up signs would be cruel and heartless. This is a human being with some kind of health issue, whether it be an eating disorder, a pregnancy, or who knows, it could even be cancer or something! Who the heck knows?!

    I think you're very kind-hearted to want to try to help her. I think a call to their HR department would be the best you could do. Let them find a way to communicate to that employee or maybe they can post signs about their resources for employees (we have counseling programs and things like that and every now and then the company will just do a few emails or new signs, to remind us that those resources are available).

  8. ms.line

    pear / 1770 posts

    Agree with @HabesBabe, don't do anything. Putting up a sign would be very humiliating and stir up office gossip.

  9. stargal

    pomegranate / 3890 posts

    @Applesandbananas: Yes I totally degree, I was shocked when I read that.

    also, I would not confront her. the other week I had a stranger come up to me at Wal-Mart when I was buying my weight loss shakes and confront me about having an eating disorder (which I do not at all) and I know the girl was genuinely trying to help (was in recovery herself and very sweet about it) but she was so far off. It was very uncomfortable and made me feel so self conscious. you just don't know someone's story.

  10. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    @Applesandbananas: @ms.line: just trying to understand how is putting up a sign cruel heartless and humiliating?

    I think a sign placed in a shared common location advertising the general Employee Assistance Program EAP offered through the office is just a basic tool that is put out there for everyone. Maybe it was posted for someone going through a divorce. Or struggling with work issues. I think advertising for a program that can help all employees and reminding everyone that it's available is a good thing all around.

    It's not like it would be a flier that says hey you, call this number for your eating disorder.

  11. ms.line

    pear / 1770 posts

    @T.H.O.U.: I think a general sign in a general area about an EAP is fine. I think a sign about ED resources in "her" stall (as it was suggested) is hurtful and embarrassing.

  12. Applesandbananas

    pomegranate / 3845 posts

    @T.H.O.U.: "I'd put a sign on the stall door asking that people clean up their own vomit or ensure its flushed." That's what I feel is completely heartless. It's not like OP said vomit was smeared all over the stall or anything like that, so I find the idea of posting a sign about cleaning up your vomit, especially when a health issue is suspected, to be an awful thing to do.

    I don't think raising employee awareness about available resources is a bad idea or cruel, but I think that should be left up to HR for that employee's company.

  13. T.H.O.U.

    wonderful clementine / 24134 posts

    @Applesandbananas: ok. I missed that comment.

  14. Madison43

    persimmon / 1483 posts

    @HabesBabe: agree completely.

    As for her leaving "evidence" in the bathroom, our toilets at work are terrible. No matter how many times you flush, if you look in the toilet a few minutes later, there is always shredded up toilet paper floating there, so it's possible she thinks she's cleaning up after herself. As for the smell, it's a bathroom, so yeah....

  15. .twist.

    pineapple / 12802 posts

    @HabesBabe: No one is gossiping about it. I mentioned the smell of puke to another co-worker, found out the girl I'm thinking of is a fitness trainer and, along with everything else I have noticed, I have put the pieces together myself. It was literally a comment in passing. Not to mention, again, I do not even work in the same office as this woman. We are in completely separate entities. I just want it to be clear that no one is gossiping or talking about her.

    Thank you all for your suggestions and advice. I will keep it all in mind as I would like to be as sensitive to this issue as possible. I also keep seeing people telling me to not confront her, like I maybe mentioned that I would?! haha It was never my plan to confront her, only an option in the poll.

  16. HabesBabe

    grapefruit / 4400 posts

    @.twist.: "I went to one of my co-workers to ask if she'd noticed the smell and she says that she hasn't. I told her that I believe it was the one blonde girl that works there..."

    I interpreted that as gossiping/talking about her. In either case, I'm glad that you weren't thinking of confronting her.


You must login / Register to post

© copyright 2011-2014 Hellobee