Sorry this is a little long:
We switched our son from one home day care to another when he turned 4 so that he could be around more kids his age. The old daycare he was at was fairly new (it was a friend of ours) and he got a lot of one on one time in the beginning, but then all her new clients were babies. At the start of the "school year" we put him in another home daycare where he actually knows two of the kids that already go there. Two weeks into it he started asking to go back to the old day care... we've tried to ask him at that time what was wrong and he would just state that he just liked the older one better.
Fast forward two months later the current daycare provider started sharing her concerns with us. She stated that "something usually happens every day" and was concerned with his lack of eye contact and listening and even his motor skills. This sort of freaked my dh out he thought that there could be a possibility that he was autistic and that we missed all the signs. So we went to get him evaluated through our county and they cleared him, stating he was a normal 4 year old, yes he may get upset but that's normal for 4 year olds and gave us pamphlets on how we may manage it. We told the daycare provider this and she still seemed to think there was something wrong with him. It has come to the point where he hit another kid at daycare and the kid is telling his dad that he doesn't want to go anymore, of course his dad is furious and we will be writing a letter to him to apologize.
So, what we are struggling with is if we should switch daycare for him again because it seems like this one is just not working out. There's a lot of "negative" feelings and I'm thinking maybe the way that the provider disciplines isn't working for my son or am I just being too sensitive about the whole thing? I do want to add that I'm currently pregnant and expecting the 2nd real soon, so there are A LOT of changes going on for all of us right now, I'm not sure one more change should be added to the mix.
Any advice or experience on this would be greatly appreciated.
TLDR: Son is acting up in daycare, affecting other kids/provider, it has been two months, should we pull him out?
coconut / 8472 posts
If you pull him out, what is your plan? Another home daycare ? A center? What will you do with your younger child when they need care?
It sounds like something is going on at the daycare now. If it was my son I probably wouldn't be happy keeping him there. I'd feel like I was constantly battling whatever he didn't like, and that the provider wasn't knowledgable enough to know he's just a normal 4 year old.
I personally like having my son in a center. I feel like being in a classroom with lots of kids at the same level helps encourage behavioral norms. I'd probably try to find one that I liked and do a trial morning before committing.
cherry / 175 posts
We would probably put him in a center. He was in a center between the ages of 1-3. Then a home day care from 3-4.
Thanks for your advice!
eggplant / 11716 posts
I would probably make a switch, even with the general upheaval in his life. Go with your mommy gut. You need supportive teachers that seem to be FOR your LO and not against him, IYKWIM.
My oldest was in a daycare from 4.5 months-1 year. I was felt pretty meh about that center, so I switched her to another center where she attended from 1-2. The summer before I had LO2, I switched our oldest to a preschool close to our house so she could go part time while I was on mat leave and it just wasn't a good fit. We stuck it out for a full month, but my formerly outgoing happy-go-lucky girl was screaming at both drop off and pickup, not napping there, not eating there. And the teachers just didn't seem to care, really. I had (still have) friend who LOVE that preschool and whose kids go there, so it was awkward to say that I didn't like it. But it wasn't a good fit for us, and we pulled her.
We used Bright horizons back up care for the rest of my mat leave and she did great there! The teachers were caring and LO didn't cry and she was her normal self.
grapefruit / 4321 posts
I would pull him, mainly because it seems like the current teacher has checked out on being a successful caregiver for him.
grapefruit / 4278 posts
I would pull him. It bothers me that the current provider has classified him as having "something wrong" with him. She doesn't trust the evaluation of professionals? Her opinions are tainting the way that she handles and interacts with him.