We’re 97% sure we’re going for baby #3, and are considering the timing. I’m leaning towards next spring-summer when DD1 would be 5.5-6 and finishing up kindergarten, and DD2 would be 3-3.5. DH is leaning toward the following year, which I had initially wanted also. My reasoning for doing it sooner is I don’t want to drag it out and complicate things by having kids who are far apart in school and thus doing very different activities and potentially having very different schedules. I was also 6.5 years apart from my sister and annoyed her so much, that I would prefer to have them closer (maybe head fight, but at least the title one wouldn’t constantly embarrass the big one). I also work full time if that makes a difference. Opinions?
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We are talking about number three and are going to try for another 27-28 month gap. DS is 3.5, DD just turned 1, and we are talking about trying in 6 months when DD turns 18 months. I want kids closer together and we are already 35 and 40. If everything happens as I hope, DS will be 4.5 and DD will be 28 months.
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@Becky: My little bro is 6y 1m younger than me, and I LOVED him growing up, FWIW. By the time I got to HS all my friends thought he was just my weird little brother, but I only occasionally felt embarrassed by him, and regularly made time to hang out with him. Meanwhile I was CONSTANTLY emabarassed by my older sister who was 2 years older, and in school with me all the time, but in a much different clique (she was a theater kid, I was a jock/over achiever). How they get along depends more on the kids than the spacing. Also I think it helps that when my brother was really young I was into baby dolls and he was basically like the coolest baby doll ever.
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Mine are going to be 6.5 (about to enter 1st grade) and 3.5 when this baby comes in August. I initially wanted closer but now I’m thinking it will work out well. My oldest will be such a little mommy and middle is getting more grown up, will be out of diapers, etc. I am happy we made the school cutoff so unless we hold back, they’ll be 3 school years between each of them. Although I know in the big picture a year is nothing I didn’t want more space there, I was 3 from my brother and liked that we spent one year of hs and college together. I think the different schedule thing is already an issue we just have to face when it comes.
I agree you can’t control how much your kids like each other so do what makes sense to you and your husband.
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Haha, my sister is 7 years younger than me and when she was really young and I was entering into my tweenage years, I was definitely really annoyed by her! It did take a while for us to be on the "same page" and get really close; and it's also rougher b/c we're always in really different stages of life. But it's all we know and I wouldn't have it any other way.
If we have a 3rd, I would like to be pregnant by the time DD2 turns 2 this December, so I would have given birth before I turn 35. DH would be 42 already then. And DD1 would be turning 5.
@Mrs. Toad: So exciting! Ugh we're still on the fence about #3!
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@snowjewelz: Thanks, we're looking for a May birthday this time. Sorry to hijack.
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I really think it depends on the personalities of your kids! My husband and his brother are 6 years apart and they have always been very close. My sister and I are two years apart and we're close now but growing up we didn't get along.
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Totally depends on personality I think. But our first two are just under 3 years apart, which I love and was actually planning on 3 years apart but got KU a few months earlier.
For #3, I wanted to try to get them a little closer together so 2 and 3 are only 2 school years apart rather than 3, just for logistics. I’m expecting #3 when DD2 is 2.5 and DD1 is 5y3m. I’m excited by their age spread and hope DD3 folds right into the mix with the older two girls! They are best buddies.
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It sounds like we can’t go wrong! DD1 andDD2 are juuust starting to play together and that’s another reason I kind of want them closer—I thought my girls would play together much sooner but they were in such different places.
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@Becky: My first 2 were 5.5 and 3.5 when #3 was born. Baby is now 5 months and the whole transition has gone so well. I was shocked how easy it has been & the older 2 love her and are very helpful. I’ve been really happy with the spacing. I also work full time.
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My first two girls will be 20.5 months apart. If we have a third, we will most likely start trying when LO#2 is 1.5 years old. While I'd like a little more of an age gap, I'd love to be done having kids when I'm 36 years old, and at least no later than 37. So spacing has more to do with my own age. Otherwise, I would wait until LO#2 is at least 2 yo before trying. My sister and I are 6 years apart and I have scarce memories of doing anything with her during my childhood, although we are really close now. So I don't think negatively on big age gaps, either, and they really have many more pros than cons, IMO.
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Mine are 3 years apart and a little over 2 years apart and it's been a lot for the 2 yo but he's doing ok. I think it depends on if you have help or not too. All I will say is don't have #3 in the fall/winter if you can avoid it. It has been so stressful all the germs here.
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@2littlepumpkins: I would never do the 2.5 year spacing again. It was so hard. We’re aiming for June-September but best laid plans, right? I think if we didn’t get pregnant for that time frame we’d wait.
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@karenbme: agree, I have always thought that sibling chemistry is so much more about the unique personalities of your little ones than about your calculations re age gaps. Also, don't most kids go through periods of loving/hating each other and then have wildly different relationships as adults than they did growing up?
I would think where trying to plan would be more predictable would be for logistics like schools and paying for college.
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