Hellobee Boards

@MaryM: When I have both of them in the car, I have to take deep breaths because it is constant chatter which usually turns into bickering since they both want to talk to me at the same exact time. I love them but I'm always happy to drop them back off at home

@DesertDreams88: I'm really a homebody too. But DH is super social. It gives me anxiety sometimes because he'll make plans assuming I want to go because I haven't planned anything. He doesn't understand that sometimes I "Plan" to do nothing! on purpose!

Update on me, CD1, and I'm miserable. No one should ever have to experience CD1 AND the first monday of daylight savings all on the same day...

I totally burst into tears this morning. I wanted to stay home, but DH had told me a contractor was coming over and I didn't want to be lying in bed menstruating while a man was banging on the walls in the basement.

It's probably good I came to work anyway...but I was rather bitter when I found out he came and measured so he could do the actual work TOMORROW. ugh.

Then our realtor emailed to see if we were still on schedule to list in a couple weeks and I came close to losing it again because I'm not as sure as DH is.

I'd pay someone for a nap!

@MaryM: Sorry about CD1 and not being able to spend it in bed. And sometimes all you can say is "ugh" about men

@jaguar: So hopeful for your scan. Super positive thoughts for you

I read this today and thought of some of our recent discussions in regards to faith. This blog takes an explicitly Christian bent, but, it was just so true-to-life I feel like I have to share. Link: http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/2015/03/let-us-pray.html

Excerpt: "I started to feel weird about the things I prayed about. I was told to bring all my cares to God, no matter how trivial or small, because He wants to hear all of it. Right? But it felt weird to pray to God for a sunny vacation and, also? War and famine and orphans. It felt wrong to ask God to #blessme in my fluffy suburban life, while I was acutely aware of the greater suffering of others. I thought it was kind of icky to call for God's favor over t-ball games and car repairs and vet bills.... and, oh yeah, my friend whose husband is dying in hospice. So my downward prayer spiral continued.

I didn't the way Christians like to congratulate ourselves for "answered prayers” when we get what we want, but quickly shrug off things that don't go our way as “God's will”. The more I thought about it, the more I had a hard time believing that, first, we could somehow bend God's favor for our own benefit, and second that “His perfect will” included things like advanced leukemia, and starving babies, and dead Mama's, and, you know, like, crimes against humanity and stuff. It's just that I happen to think super shitty things aren't God's will.

I think bad things happen because we live in a broken place filled with messed up people who have terrible ideas, and because the Earth is covered in all kinds of other unpredictable living things, and also because weather. I could be wrong, but I think “God's perfect will” for the mess we call life is that we would love and be loved by Him, but also that you and I would love one another through the inevitable pain and turmoil and tragedy that comes with living in this beautiful, dynamic, damaged world."

@DesertDreams88: Thanks for this article and excerpt. I struggle with my faith (I'm Catholic, but not very devout) and how God could "let" bad things happen, like the things she mentioned and the things that have happened to you wonderful ladies in this thread. To me, you are all great people, so why do bad things happen to good people?

But this post says well what I feel in my head and my heart Hoping all you ladies have bright, great news in the very near future!

@DesertDreams88: I've always struggled with a similar feeling to that blog.

I work at a school and when people are praying for things like snow days, it irks me. Does God really care that much about how we want the weather? Probably not.

But in the same way, I think that blog lends a lot toward the Catholic idea of "offer it up."

I've joined a Catholic IF group and found it really helpful. People pray for each other's intentions...especially when they're going through hard things (like medical procedures or if they're "lucky," labor).

The idea is that God doesn't allow bad things to happen, sin in the world does. And when we suffer, we can offer that suffering up to God in prayer.

It's hard to really know what we're supposed to do here on earth, but that makes a lot more sense to me (at least it does on the days I'm not totally struggling!)

@jaguar: If I have my time zones right, I think you are getting your scan today. Is today the day? Fingers crossed and I'll be sending good vibes if it is

@jaguar: thinking of you today, hope its all systems go!!

I'm pretty sure im headed to AF town, even though im CD23. Feel crampy, grumpy, moody. grrrrr.

@jaguar: oh yay! So very happy you had a good scan and set a transfer day! Fingers crossed and lots of prayers everything goes as needed

@jaguar:

@My Only Sunshine: welcome I too hear ya on the extra weight, I'm carrying a few kilos from my last pregnancy in december. I was 9 weeks too, so enough to get into the heavy carbs trying to counteract morning sickness

I went grocery shopping an hour ago and ran into a random distant relative, who proceeded to grab my arm and ask "c'mon when are you having another one" with that dopey sideways face people do when they're trying to weasel a secret out of you. bugger off you nosey parker!

So I am in the middle of a monitored Clomid/IUI cycle and I was really excited to be able to start TTC again. But now that we are about to trigger and do the IUI, I'm starting to get a little panicked. The idea of going through another miscarriage like my last one really freaks me out. I'm certain that I will be panicked even if I get a BFP. I know that's probably unavoidable to feel that way, but I just needed to tell someone who understands.... I seem to have poor quality eggs, and after back to back miscarriages, it seems likely I would have another... It's such a hard balance between trying to stay positive and trying to stay realistic.

@HappyBluebird: there are some phrases which are common to both of us, but I do believe telling a distant aunt to fudge off might have gotten me in trouble hahahaha

@travellingbee: it does feel almost impossible to beat that anxiety sometimes, the niggling thoughts that pop up at 3 am when you're trying to sleep. I can't offer much other than deep breathing and distracting yourself I did a pee test this morning which showed a very very faint line (shadow? evap? who knows) I've been gearing up for negative and AF and I feel a bit worried now, what if it IS a BFP?

@jaguar: I seriously, honestly don't think it is. its so incredibly squnity in this photo i'd assume its shadow or evap line. in natural light I can see a bit more colour to it. I'll do a first response tonight/tomorrow morning which i'm sure will come back stark white.

*edit* thats a horrible photo, looking it now, it totally looks bfn!

@jaguar: hubby said he could see it too (and his eyesight is waaay worse than mine haha) time will tell, i'll pick up those pee sticks and attempt to be patient. meanwhile my throat and nose are feeling all twitchy sneezy, I think I've caught a bug off my SIL and niece ughh!

@FannyMae: I definitely see it! FXed for you! Thank you for the kind words. I hope this will be your sticky baby and you will feel happy and confident.

@jaguar: patience is not my virtue... did another pregnosis test earlier today (came back the same, with a faint line) just did a first response and its very very faint too. the way im going, i'll run out of pee before I run out of tests.