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13 dpo - BBT is back up. Hoping it stays that way!

@Kaohinani: yay! Looking good

So, not sure still if we will try again, I’m going to talk to dh more this weekend and we have an appointment with my re on Wednesday.
I did get my period (while at Disney, woo hoo! lol) so I’m cd6 now, and won’t do clomid or anything, so taking the month off.

For those of you who have had several losses, especially with a confirmed genetic abnormality, how did you decide to try again? Even though my chances are still low for trisomy 21, I’m worried about something else, potentially more serious, happening next time. It worries me to risk it when I have two healthy children at home, one that is a little “difficult “ and requires a little extra effort (speech therapy, a little bit of behavioral stuff). I don’t want to take away from them and their needs any more than necessary. I know that they both really want another sibling, which tugs at my heart.

@MsHangry: Thank you! Your BBT is extremely encouraging, but I do understand the feeling of uncertainty when in limbo. Really hoping for good things for you. 🤞

@LAZB: Yay for AF!!! (* It is just a bummer that it came while you were on vacation.) As for whether or not you and DH decide to try any longer, that is completely your choice as a couple and I know that all of us on HB will support whichever you choose. To respond to your inquiry. The losses I suffered with my EX-H were due to chromosomal abnormalities. He had ejaculatory issues, and freakishly low count, and motility with terrible morphology. It has been soooooooo long that I don't remember his numbers BUT, from a fertility standpoint, he was nearly sterile. That stated, in my 20's, I was freakishly fertile (How I wish being freakishly fertile was my case, now! 🙄) and could catch a spermy with my eggs even with his sperm "issues." When I lost them (all very early on) they were assumed to be due to chromosomal defect due to his sperm (From what I have been told, he and his current wife still do not have children 13 years later due to his issues. Absolutely not my business, of course.). With my CP this last Aug, I refused to figure out (* or be told) what the cause had been but it was probably due to early OV of an immature ova (which has 46 instead of 23 chromosomes and, when fertilized, will gain an EXTRA 23 from the sperm. 🤷‍♀️). I will state that you ARE lucky to have 2 beautiful LOs; however, I know that won't make your decision any easier (and statements like that aren't helpful) ... I am frequently told to "be grateful for your 2 and stop trying for a 3rd bc it may not be God's will or isn't meant to be." It is actually frustrating for me to hear it (and I am uber-stubborn and just keep TTC).

@karenbme: Thank you so very much! With DS, my symptoms kept coming and going until around 6 weeks when the super-sore breasts and 24-7 exhaustion kicked in ... So, you never know. 🤷‍♀️ I am keeping hopeful for you, even if you are not.

@Sams Mom: OH, NO! I am hoping that your BBT redeems itself tomorrow with a nice rise! 🤞🤞🤞

@LAZB: hey girl. I was following your story and just wanted to reach out.
This is something I’ve been struggling with a lot. I was talking to a friend and she told me that I’ll just know when I’m done trying. She said from her experience there was a month when she just felt she couldn’t go through the chance of more heartbreak.
I kind of feel personally I’m starting to get there. Where as before I couldn’t fathom the idea of not having more kids lately I’m feeling more calm/acceptance. I’m still not sure what I will do this cycle but just wanted to give you my commiseration in what is an awful time and pass along what felt to me like real advice that wasn’t a hopeful story or a devastating one, it just felt to me like it came from real life if that makes sense. Xx

@LAZB: I can definitely appreciate the fear of a recurrent loss due to a chromosomal issue - that's specifically why we are doing IVF again... which may seem extreme to others, but out TFMR was so emotionally exhausting that for protection of our sanity, marriage, and DD, we just don't want to risk it, or at least want to do whatever we can to minimize the chance. For us that means IVF, for others that might mean not trying, adopting or some other scenario. I question myself if I should stop - if I am too consumed with TTC and missing out on focused time with DH and my adorable DD... but I know in my heart I'm at least not done trying. It might not work out for us and eventually I could come to terms with that, but I'm not ready to exit the game yet. You've been through so much. While your heart is wounded, it's still a solid compass. I say follow it.

@karenbme: @Kaohinani: @bhbee: @fuzzypeaches: @Chuckles: @yellowbeach: thank you all soooo much for your thoughtful replies. I know it’s such an individual decision, and really appreciate all of your thoughts and experiences. Dh and I talked more today, but didn’t really get closer to any decision. I think we will know more after meeting with the re.

@LAZB: I'm really sorry

Our experience trying for our first was sort of shitty, though I'm appreciative that it was not nearly as bad as what some people here have experienced. First some trouble conceiving - most likely due to poor egg quality. Then I got pregnant but had an SCH, ended up on bed rest, was really sick, and it ultimately ended in loss. Then in turned out that the pregnancy was (likely) a partial molar pregnancy. When two sperm fertilize a single egg. It runs a 20% risk of abnormal tissue growth after and 5-10% risk of placental cancer developing, which is pretty darn high. So I went back for hcg draws weekly, then we had a chemical pregnancy (but it could have also been the start of an abnormal growth, so I had to start going for hcg draws every other day for a couple of weeks). I think this actually kind of put it in perspective for me - like the loss really sucked, but hey, as long as I end up not getting cancer from the pregnancy, I'll call it a win. IDK what I would have done if I already had kids at home, but I just kind of pushed through and tried to focus on other things. I did put a limit, like I was only willing to go through three losses towards the end of the first tri or later, then we would have pursued another avenue. It helped to have the limit, I think.

I have to take DS to children's hospital for regular appointments for his allergies, and I see children there with severe deformities, hooked up to lots of machines with severe chronic conditions, etc. And it is just so heartbreaking, I can't imagine seeing your child suffer like this, day after day and year after year. The risk of something like that happening really does scare me, but it could also happen to another relative regardless of having another kid, so I try not to think too much about it...

I hope you feel some resolution soon

Has anyone on here wanted a baby (whether the 1st, 2nd, 3rd through 10th) so bad that they find themselves "bargaining" with the universe or a higher power?
#IamThere. #WhereIsNumber3AfterSoLong? #WhyIsntLifeFair?!?!?

14 dpo - Cramps and "UGH!!!" This morning's BBT is not promising. 🥺

ANNND, an hour later AF hit with a vengeance!!! So, ALLLLL my weird non-symptoms were simply progesterone overload.
I will be visiting the RE on CD3 (Tuesday) and checking to see if this next cycle will be "on." I knew chances for a successful BFP THIS cycle were slim, but I was extremely hopeful it "could" happen with so many mature follicles.
#NoSuchLuck. #Bummed

@Kaohinani: Ugh... I’m so sorry to see this! Everything seemed so promising for you. Good luck with the day 3 appointment, I hope you’re on this month.

@Kaohinani: No No No! really had high hopes this month. Curious to hear what the RE says on Tuesday. I would think you’d be able to move forward this cycle just with lower diesel maybe. Thx for making March POAS. That’s my next stop this morning.

@SamsMom: very intriguing chart! I’m logging in each morning with your chart being the first thing I’m scouting for. 🤞🤞🤞

@Kaohinani: no! So sorry AF came and this cycle was such a rollercoaster..

@yellowbeach: @fuzzypeaches: @MsHangry: Thank you, ladies!
Hopefully, March will be my lucky month for a BFP.

@Sams Mom: chart looks beautiful! Fingers crossed for you.