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I guess I see this from the opposite side, I have 2 girls who I love more than life and we said we were going to be done after 2 (although now we have decided we will most likely have a third.) I am sad that I'm not a mom to a boy, but I guess in my mind everything happens for a reason and I'm supposed to be a mom to girls.

And I will say my MIL has all boys, and I know my DH talks to her at least 3 times a week on the phone, I think you can build a close relationship with sons & my MIL says that she got granddaughters because God knew she needed them

My mom and I are super close. But, I think because I've had the "mom" role in our relationship for nearly all my life, I don't feel the longing need for a daughter to fulfill a bond/support that I've provided my mom throughout my life. I have friends' daughters (and hopefully my lil bro has one in the future!) that I will look forward to spoiling and being the "fun aunt." While I was sad at the thought of not experiencing raising both a son and a daughter, I don't have a lingering sadness about being a boymom for life!

I have the added benefit of guys who are very close to their moms in my life. I think I see the way my brother and my mom are super close (he lives out of state and still calls/texts her almost every day, and so does his wife) and how DH is close with his mom as my view of son/mom relationships that makes me look forward to my growing relationship with both of my boys!

I have one daughter and don't know what this next one is yet, but for some reason I was always convinced that I would have two boys and that was it. I had come to terms with it and didn't think I would mind, but then one day while I was pregnant with C, I saw a mom and two preteen kids, a boy and a girl, on a bus. The boy was sitting there playing a handheld video game and the girl was chatting away with the mom. It's stereotypical, but I do think there is some truth to it.

So yeah, I think I would be a little sad if I'd never had a daughter. And I think DH will be a little sad if he never has a son. But he will love them both no matter what they are of course and you just never know what kind of personalities they will have anyway. One of my friends hopes she doesn't have a daughter because her relationship with her mom was so bad during her teen years- and they get along great now, but she would just rather boys.

My MIL has three boys and they definitely don't keep in touch with her as well as my sisters and I do with my mom, but my brother also keeps in close touch with my mom. you just don't know...

I think that no matter what, you always "give up" the idea of one thing when you get the other...I have a DS, and when I found out this LO was a girl, I was a little bit sad that he wouldn't get to have a brother. I'm sure if I was having a boy this time, I would be a little bit sad about not having a girl...and if this was my 2nd girl, I would be a little bit sad about not having a boy. I think regardless, it's ok to feel sad/a little mournful of the alternative scenarios that you won't get to experience, while also being able to recognize that your reality will be awesome!

And FWIW, my DH talks to his parents EVERY DAY, and so does his brother. He is extremely close with them. So don't give up hope

I would have been sad but that's mainly due to the fact that my own mother passed away and I only have a brother and am not close to my grandmother.

My cousin has two boys and she loves it. She was happy not to have a girl (especially now that she sees what her siblings are going through now that their girls are becoming teenagers!).

Yes. I feel the same feelings as you. We are trying for a 3rd, and I already have two boys. If it's another boy I will be happy but I'm sure part of me will be sad for many of the reasons you mentioned. I think it's natural.

I try not to mourn the future...meaning, I don't spend too much time thinking about all the things that I won't be able to do. It gets me down!

Instead, I focus on the things that will be brand new to me, that I never had a chance to experience while growing up. And I try to raise my son to be a reasonable human being by modeling good behaviour towards my inlaws, lol.

I'm kind of relieved?
I love my mother and I do talk to her all the time but I'm very different to the point where we can't share a lot of our life experiences. She was the #1 stress of my wedding, I ruined the holidays because I couldn't travel to see her when I was pregnant (bedrest), I went back to work at 7 weeks (she's always SAH and couldn't understand). Meanwhile my brother is the golden child, can do no wrong baby of the family.

I don't know if we're done, so maybe I will have a girl someday. But I really love the relationship/experience I have with my son.

I will be sad not to have a girl next for all the reasons you listed. I'm pretty close with my mom and I see that my brother used to be but now that he's married he isn't any more. I want to be able to do all the girly stuff that girl moms can do and have a close relationship when she grows up.

But I'll also be sad to not have another boy. I love the idea of my son growing up with a brother and having a close bond with him. There's nothing in this world I love more than my son and the thought of having another boy that's sweet and affectionate and funny sounds awesome. So I'll be sad if I never get to have that either.

Nothing is guaranteed! My husband talks to his mom a few times a week and we see them almost every weekend. I rarely talk to my mom. I am really close with my MIL though. So, even if you never have your own daughter you could become very close with your future DIL! I totally understand why you would feel sad about never having a daughter, but instead of mourning what you don't have, celebrate what you do have!

I never even thought I'd have a daughter. I mean, I come from a family full of boys, and my cousins who already have kids also have only boys, so it never crossed my mind for some reason! So I'm both happy DS will have a little sister, and scared because for me this is uncharted territory

Like others said, you're always giving up the possibility of something. So I'm a little sad that likely DS won't have a brother, though I'm glad he'll have a sibling at all and I'm sure it'll all work out.

I agree with what everyone else has said about giving up the possibilities with each step you take with your family. LO is a girl and I love having a girl. I think if we had another girl, I would be thrilled because she would have a sister. But I would be sad to not have a boy. And vice versa. I see families with two boys and how sweet their relationship is - like my brothers - and that won't be us. So, I think it's really common to think that way.

I have these feelings more about age spacing. As it seems that more and more families with LOs my daughter's age or even younger are pregnant, I start to wonder if she/we are missing out by waiting to have another. I just have to remind myself that you can't orchestrate your life. Sometimes siblings that are close in age don't grow up close, and siblings that are not close in age do grow up close.

So, I think the same can be said for having boys vs girls. Some girls are not close with their moms and some boys are very close with their moms. I don't think by having a girl, you are guaranteed anything! But, the feelings are totally normal.

I guess I'm the odd one here but I have no feeling of sadness over my two boys being my only children. For every wonderful thing about girls, there is an equally wonderful thing about boys. You are the first woman your son will love. You are going to teach him/them how to treat their future partners, you're going to show them how to respect their wives and be excellent partners because they've learned how to be sensitive to women because of you. You're going to be the one cleaning scraped knees and kissing boo-boos, you're still going to get to pick out cute outfits and fix their hair. You'll have to chance to have daughters through their wives, you'll love their children as fiercely as you would if they had come from a daughter, not a son.

My MIL helped me plan my wedding, she came with me and my mother to try on wedding dresses. She was there to take pictures with me for prom, she was at the ultrasound where I found out that we were having a boy (twice!) and she's been an enormous part of my son's life. She helped me plan his nursery, she was there when he was born, etc.

My mom and I have a wonderful relationship, sure, but the fact that my MIL and I have such a good relationship speaks volumes for the relationship that she has with her son. If she and he didn't have an amazing friendship none of this would be the case for me. So don't be sad for what you're not getting by having a daughter, there is so much to enjoy about boys.

Yeah, for all the reasons you said, I'm sad we won't ever have a girl. DH is sad too for that lost opportunity to have a daddy's girl. But of course we are super thrilled to have brothers and there are some things that are a relief too.

@MrsTiz: That's a great perspective, thanks for sharing!

@MrsTiz: ️congrats!!!!

Im pregnant with a boy and although DH wanted a girl, I am relieved to not be having one. We are likely one and done so he has come to terms with not having a girl and is very excited to be having a boy. I will not miss those teen years!

I recently heard about a study that was done that showed mother and son relationships are typically the closest followed by father/daughter, father/son, then mother/daughter. I can not recall what age this study spanned but I believe it was youth-teen and did not go into adulthood. I am very close with my mom now but it took us a long time to get there!

@aprild: Thank you for starting this thread. This is a topic people tend not to talk about IRL.

We are pregnant with a boy now, and are a one and done family. So there was a twinge of disappointment when we learned we would never have a daughter - especially since DW and I are both female. We dont even know what to do with a boy! I have all sisters.

That said, we got over it in about 30 seconds and are determined to expose our son to absolutely everything a daughter would be exposed to - cooking, etc.

All we can do is hope that any child - male or female - will choose to be close to us as they grow up.

I completely agree with @hilsy85:

I have a DS and am pregnant with a girl. Prior to the scans, I convinced myself it would be a boy just to get used to the idea of not ever having a daughter (we're most likely two and through). But when they announced she is a girl, my thoughts immediately went to how wonderful but its sad DS will never get a brother. I absolutely love having a little boy and look forward to raising him to be a good man. I credit my MIL for how awesome DH turned out and I would love for someone to credit me someday as well. And by the way, DH calls one of his parents everyday (he alternates which one he calls but his mom usually gets more than his dad). My FIL is also crazy close with his parents and over their house more days out of the week then not.

Yeah I get it, I have one boy and I'm pregnant wth #2 and very relaxed about the sex this time as I know we want 3. I will be a little sad if I end up with no girls, but what will be will be - and I know I will love a boy every bit as much