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I think I would've been sad had I never had a daughter, but I've seen some great examples of men who love their mothers like crazy and have such a special bond with them.
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I can't say if I would have been sad or not bc LO1 is a girl. I will say that prior to her I always pictured myself with 2 boys so I kind of think I would have been ok with just boys. However, now that I have DD I would be totally cool with having another girl and being done w 2 girls. Never would have imagined that..
As for the mom/daughter, son/mother relationship I honestly think it depends on the individual relationship. For example I am not very close to my mom and my husband is very close to his mom, it just depends on the individuals. I don't think b/c I'm not close to my mom that I won't be close to my daughter, in fact I am hoping to do some thing differently to hopefully help us be closer.
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I have a daughter and am currently pregnant with another. I'm not going to lie...if I didn't have any daughters I would be really sad. I'm not even that close to my mom (she's wonderful, we just don't have a super close "talk everyday" sort of relationship) but I always pictured myself as a girl-mom plus I'm very girly. We want three kids so DH still has a chance for a boy....but if we have three girls he and I would be perfectly content with that!
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@JenGirl: Good response!
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My ds is almost 2.5 and we're ttc but still yet to be successful after 6mo. Every time I see a family of 4 I'm super sad BC I want ds to have a sibling so badly. I have 2 younger bros. I just feel incomplete with just one. I particularly want him to have a brother bc both my bros are so close. Then I also want a daughter too for the exact reasons you posted. But this difficulty with ttc sucks and I don't know if we are successful w #2 if I'd be able to repeat the process again for #3. I know I shouldn't complain tho BC so many ppl are having difficulties ttc 1.
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@aprild: I totally get it. I have a 6m son and I love him so so much. We definitely want a second, just not sure when. I want a daughter because I just always wanted a daughter, grew up with sisters, can't imagine not! I wanted a son too don't get me wrong. But it's a little strange to imagine that perhaps I could have another boy. Will I be disappointed? Will we want a 3rd then? I know I would love as many sons as I was blessed to have. I don't know it's just an interesting thought process to imagine.
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Totally get you! I have two sons (we are 99% sure we are done) and I was actually pretty disappointed we wouldn't have one of each. I also thought daughters had close relationships with their moms and I have not seen a good example of a man being close to their moms.
With that I love my boys soo much and I hope the break the standard that I have personally seen and hope to nurture a close relationship with them (I know mother/son relationship can be close especially from this thread!). Hopefully I will have some good DILs.
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I think I would be a little sad if I didn't have a girl. But I would be sad if I never had a boy also. Now that I have one boy, I want another!! We plan on having at least 3, so I guess we'll see!
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I have 2 boys and if we have another I just expect to have another boy. I do understand how mother/son and mother/daughter relationships are different and the thought of "losing" my sons to their future families makes me sad. I am sure it is kind of like that with dh and mil and honestly I put about 95% of that on her. It really makes me think that I will work hard to have a good relationship with my sons and their future spouses. I can also honestly say that I will not mourn never having a teenage daughter! Maybe I am just so focused on the here and now and that is tomorrow's problem but I just love my boys so much and am so grateful to have them in my life that I am in no way disappointed that they were not girls.
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Before I had DD I would have told you I could be happy with 4 sons but now that I've met her, I'm so happy we have each other. She's my little mini-me and she makes my life complete. Don't know how my future kids will compete with that!!
Although, I still would bank on the fact that my sons will take better care of me than DD when I'm old. DH loves his mommy so much and is going to make a great role model.
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@lovehoneybee: wow that's crazy !
I'll be happy with either. I may feel a little sad to never have a girl but I'll just feel blessed for whichever one I get! My husband says we"!l only have boys because there's been no girls on his side for many years but that just changed as his brothers wife is now expecting a girl.
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Yep. I want to be done with two...but I've always wanted a daughter. As much as I love my boys, the feeling of wanting a girl as well has not faded. I thought it would, but so far no such luck. It's really really hard to choose between giving up the idea of having a daughter and deciding to have more kids than I always felt like would be the best number for us.
As far as the whole cliche about girls being closer to their moms go, to some extent I feel that is typically true just because you're more likely to have things in common and be bigger on talking and whatnot. But I reject the idea that boys automatically won't be close to their parents - I think it depends on your child, and it also depends on how you treat him as he grows. Too many MILs regard their DILs either as competition who took their son away, or as another kid of theirs who they can boss around (particularly when grandkids are born.) And that is sure to hurt your relationship.
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I have two boys, which is what I always hoped for. The only thing I miss out on is shopping girl clothes lol. But, that's easy to solve by gifting to others. I've always felt like a boy mom so our family feels complete.
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I have a boy and won't be trying for a second for a while, but when/if we do, I actually really hope its another boy. I am and have always been a huge tomboy, i don't get or care about clothes or fashion, was never into girly pastimes, and have a much closer relationship with my dad than my mom. I actually ended up hurting my mother and MIL when I got married - we had the simplest possible wedding and I didn't ask either of them for help - I found out later through my husband and my sister that both of them were hurt.
If I had a girl, I think I would feel very lost!! We'll see what happens... -
I'm perfectly happy with being a mom of boys. After how I was as a teenager, no thank you. @MrsTiz: nailed what's in my heart so eloquently. My relationship with these boys is the greatest and I love how they interact with each other and with my husband as well. I work hard to be someone they trust and can have fun with and hope I can continue to nurture a good relationship with them as adults as well. Girl or boy doesn't change that one bit.
We are undecided on a third, and leaning towards no at this point, I would still expect another boy and be so happy with him. I'm so outnumbered right now with the havoc my two create... I'd love a girl for my husband since I am very close with my dad, but I'd have no regrets for myself. I'm sure there will be daughters in law in the future, I have a great relationship with my MIL, that's more than enough for me, if that's what's in the cards for me.
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Before I had kids, I really wanted a boy and a girl. Now I have 2 girls and I feel like our family is complete. I love having girls, I'll be honest, and while it would have been nice to have had a boy, my husband and I think we are all blessed with what we're blessed with, and we truly are just ecstatic that they are both so healthy and amazing. I always think about if I had a choice between having only 2 boys or only 2 girls, I would without question want 2 girls.
I would have thought that I would have maybe wanted to keep going to see if we would have a boy, but once I had gotten through my second pregnancy, and DD2 got here, I just knew in my heart that these girls are all I ever want. There will never be a Y chromosome in my womb lol.
I think once your second LO is here, you will feel much less apprehensive about only having boys:) It will just fit, and I think you will know if you are truly at peace with only boys.
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Thanks for all the responses! I agree that I could still have a very close relationship with my sons when they are grown. I hope that they will be the type of men who want to talk to me and involve me with what's going on. Although I still think having a daughter would be nice, I know boys have their positive points too. And I'm glad my son will have a brother to grow up with.
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I think I would, but only because I don't have role models of guys who are super close to their moms. But I think it's something extra special to have two kids of the same sex, too, so your sons will have that!
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I would definitely be sad, and I've always envisioned having a daughter. I absolutely adore DS, but I know I will be a little disappointed if number 2 is another boy. The upside, as others have said, is that he'd have a brother and potential BFF for life
I also have 3 nieces that I am super close to and basically helped raise when they were babies/ toddlers, so those relationships are really important to me, too.
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I can understand how you feel because I have always dreamed of having a daughter, even long before I was married. I am closer to my mom and I think that's the reason. I am more familiar with that bond since that's what I know. I think I would be sad initially but I would just probably spoil one of my nieces instead. However, I really think it's personality related and not gender related.
My husband is the kindest person I know and his love and respect for his mother is beautiful beyond measure. Their bond is even stronger than what I have with my own mother. He adores his mom and would do anything for her. He learned all of his caring ways and kindness from his mom. Sadly, she passed away many years ago but I am forever thankful that she helped and influenced him to be such a devoted and nurturing family man. DH's older brother, however, from the same parents, is totally opposite. He's obnoxious, falls in and out of love quickly, been in numerous relationships, fathered several kids without marriage or any solid commitments and is not a family man at all. He's the odd man in their family so I think it's definitely personality related. How can 2 people from the same family with similar nurturing experiences be so different? Now all I dream and pray about is raising kind and good children, boy or girl it doesn't matter.
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@JenGirl: I could have written your post! We are not for sure one-and-done, but are leaning strongly that way. There are things I look forward to about both genders, but if I got to pick, I'd pick boy. DH is more on the fence, but I think he leans girl.
This is one of the reasons I am so firmly team green. For the next 22 weeks, I get to keep having fantasies about both my son and my daughter. When I meet whichever one of them is real, I know I will be thrilled, but I will still miss the one that I don't get to have, and will be happy to have had this time to imagine him/her.
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This is all very fresh for me, but I just found out we are having another boy. I'm pretty heartbroken, to be honest, but am trying to focus on the positives. I just can't believe I won't have that Gilmore Girls type relationship lol. I always assumed I would have a daughter, and my mother and I are so close. It's a little hard to process. But I, of course, feel fortunate and know I will grow into the role of only boys. I am somewhat relieved I won't ever have to figure out how to french braid, and I hate shopping so there is that!
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On the other side, I have 2 girls and don't miss having a boy at all. I would have embraced whatever I was given, boys, girls, or both, and thank my lucky stars every day for my beautiful babies!
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@raintreebee: Having two boys is wonderful. My younger is such a mama's boy. Just think you have been given the privilege to raise two young little boys into respectable men.
But I understand there is disappointment. I'll be pretty sad if I don't ever to get to shop for a baby girl one day!
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