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If you were religious but are now atheist...

  1. thismustbetheplace

    kiwi / 633 posts

    Never thought I'd be discussing this on the bee, but if it was asked...

    We were raised strict Catholic. Church every Sunday, youth groups, mission trips, etc.

    12 years ago my uncle 'snapped' and murdered my cousins after a tough custody battle with my Aunt. He said he was saving them. Buried them in a shallow grave with duct tape crosses on their chests. In jail (awaiting trial) he was known for teaching the bible and leading prayer groups etc. It completely rocked my world that the higher power I trusted so completely would let something like that happen seemingly in his name. Or even if it wasn't truly in his name, than by someone he knowingly and intentionally created.

    Right around that time I signed up for and took my first evolutionary biology class in college. I didn't dare tell my parents but I'm so glad that I did it. Turns out there were so many more answers out there than the words written in the bible. I haven't looked back. I know my parents worry about my soul and that makes me so sad.

  2. JoJoGirl

    cantaloupe / 6206 posts

    @thismustbetheplace: Oh holy crap. Your parents weren't equally horrified by what happened with your uncle!?

  3. .twist.

    pineapple / 12802 posts

    @thismustbetheplace: Woah. That must have been pretty traumatic.

  4. thismustbetheplace

    kiwi / 633 posts

    @JoJoGirl: It brought my mom closer to the church. She found solace and peace (which in a way I'm happy for, everyone responds differently to trauma). My dad has never spoken about it and still attends church regularly with my mom. If I were to guess I believe he is just going through the motions because that's what they've always done together.. but like I said we don't discuss it. Religion has obviously become a touchy issue in my family

  5. runnerd

    pear / 1593 posts

    @JoJoGirl: haha thanks I still don't feel very brave since I am hiding my conclusions from my family

    @thismustbetheplace: wow I can't even imagine!

    my brother is an open atheist so every time he is mentioned everyone reminds me to pray for his soul over the past 10 years - now that I've crossed to his side I can't imagine being the lone descender all these years

  6. .twist.

    pineapple / 12802 posts

    @runnerd: I hid my feelings for a LONG time. I don't think that's a bad thing. I didn't want to argue about it. My parents believed what they believe and I wasn't going to convince them otherwise and they weren't going to convince me otherwise. What's the point of that argument?

    Even while my dad was dying, he told me all about how he would watch over me and take care of us and that he just knew he was going somewhere peaceful because he'd seen it before. I just went along with it because it comforted him and I do truly hope he's at peace.

    I love those people, I don't care what they believe.

  7. rosegold

    apricot / 428 posts

    @coopsmama: i think i fall unde the agnostic category. am i the only raised Jehovah's Witness? my childhood was church three days a week, no holidays and an endless droning of "how does that make God feel?"

    my parents splitting up at 7 changed my life pretty drastically. i moved cross country in my teens but truthfully I didn't consider my spiritual side until I had my children. my life is a blessing, but I am not one to say by whom or what. dh was raised catholic and we have a bit of a laugh bumping beliefs or experiences off of one another.

    i'm not particularly religious or God-fearing but i believe in appreciating the gift of life and giving special thanks to the beauty that is around us. our family, friends, the opportunities we experience individually and together. i don't think we are ever to know "the truth" and will never commit to an organized and/or profiting group that pertains to religion.

  8. travellingbee

    hostess / papaya / 10219 posts

    @runnerd: I can relate to your story so much!!

  9. Torchwood

    pomelo / 5607 posts

    @runnerd: Your story is very similar to mine! It's tough being in the south especially. But I think you're totally right to wait until you're ready to "come out." No one actually needs to know- do what's right for you! My family wasn't too bad with coming out atheist though. I know it upset them and they worry about me going to hell, but overall it hasn't impacted our relationships much. Though I will say that my mom pulled the "once saved, always saved" card, so she thinks I'm still going to heaven. Which I find simultaneously annoying (it feels like she doesn't care what I say/believe) and a relief (since I'd hate for her to be constantly worrying about her only child burning in hell for eternity 😐). The only thing that's sucked is that my dad and stepmom banned me from telling my little brother and sister. But my sister will be 18 in 2 years, and after that they can't stop me. I won't bring it up, but if she asks I'm being honest. I think it'll backfire on them- she's the sort to be upset that they kept it from her. I'm pretty sure they didn't tell them what really happened to R either, so the first time my sister tries to pull some pro-life crap, that's gonna come out.

  10. leighleigh

    cherry / 154 posts

    I grew up Catholic and was never entirely 'on board' but went through all the motions anyway, mainly because my dad preferred I did so (my mom wasn't as religious, and they split up when I was young so all the church activities were encouraged by him). As I got older, I started just having a hard time being such a blind follower, for lack of a better way to say it. Because of science, because of some of the corruption that goes on in these churches, because of the very unforgiving and unfair judgment of many conservative people--just turned me off. That being said, I do still pray. I like to believe in a higher power, but to believe so strongly in the bible and adhere to all the contingencies in such a strict way is really unrealistic to me. I guess now in my older age, I'm just "spiritual".

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