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Harder than I thought to be a FTM. Easier than I thought to add another LO into the mix. But now that LO2 is a toddler, it will probably start getting harder again as she starts getting into the 2's...
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@skipper2010: Harder, but much more rewarding than I could have imagined.
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LO is 4 months old. So far, Both!
Things that have been easier:
-making decisions about her well-being. I'm much more confident than I thought I would be.
-BFing, once I got a shield.
-the newborn period in general, especially to 8 weeksThings that have been harder:
-figuring out that she wasn't just colicky but rather had MSPI and reflux. 8-12 weeks was pretty hellish.
-SLEEP DEPRIVATION. That first night, i felt like I was going to die.
-bonding with her at first. Now, it is a different story, but early on, it was hard.
-pumping
-being kind to myself. I am very, very self-critical, and I'm realizing that I need to treat myself how I want her to learn to treat herself. -
The baby stage (newborn to walking/weaning) was so much harder than I anticipated. 4am wake ups for a year, only napping in my arms, always screaming bloody murder as she woke up, hating the car, plus what nursing/pumping did to my body and my marriage, + daycare colds for all of us. Ugh.
I feel like we've really hit our stride the last three months or so. So time to TTC #2.
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@NurseMommy: WOHM is *so* much harder than I realized it would be, I agree! Why do you think you're doing it wrong? I'm sure that can't be true
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@.twist.: Thanks!! Now if we could quit co-sleeping that'd be fabulous.... lol Love the cuddles, but homie is all over the place during the night and leaves me with a sliver of the bed to sleep on, if I'm lucky!
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Harder and my LO is 6 months.
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Newborn days, WAY harder. Toddler days, easier. To me, it was utterly overwhelming and terrifying trying to determine my newborn's wants/needs. I love my little toddler person with her more developed communication skills!
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@LovelyPlum: your last point, totally. I'm trying so hard to focus on this for my daughter's well-being and it's really changing how i see myself!
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@LovelyPlum: I just worry that I'm not engaging her in the right/enough things/activities.
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Both.
The colic was worse than anything I could have imagined while I was pregnant. I never thought I'd have a screamy baby (who does?) But the sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, and general care of a newborn were easier than I expected. The toddler phase (so far at 17 months) is challenging sometimes, but he is so funny and smart and exciting with all his new "discoveries" that I'm enjoying it even more than the first year.
@lamariniere: That is so comforting to hear! I'm holding out hope that LO#2 will be an easy newborn.
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@skipper2010: I agree with everything you said. I remember thinking get during the newborn stage "what was I so scared of?" Then we hit a sleep regression, things were amazing for about a month & now we are interested he same stage (& age) as you are! She is so so sweet & funny & independent & needy & life sucking all at the same time! All in all its about what I expected.
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My mom had my brother when I was ten and two siblings (y brother and sister) when I was 12, so I had a bit of an idea of how difficult it would be. I knew about the mess and the chaos and the not showering and the cracker crumbs all over the back of the car....what I didn't know was how deep the emotional toll would be! Motherhood really depletes your emotional stores.
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Easier. I have an almost three year old. I'm really lucky - she's an easy child, and we have a really fun life.
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Is this a trick question? Of course 2000 times harder (especially the newborn/baby stage), but 5000 times more rewarding, satisfying, and life changing (for the good and the bad).
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My kids are 6 and 3. Harder in every way! And just when you think you've figured it out, they will throw something new at you.
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MUCH harder. 2 daughters: 28 months and 6 months.
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