Hellobee Boards

That is completely inappropriate and should be reported to your HR. You could even sue for discrimination. People have brought lawsuits for a lot less... someone I know got a court summons because he commented that he liked an employee's glasses, which she took to mean he was discriminating against her for being old.

Honestly, in my experience, if you have a boss who is not supportive of your being a mom and putting your schedule and family's needs as a priority (like, if she's not even willing to discuss the possibility of partially working from home) I don't think it's a smart decision to stay there. You will get pushback from her for every little thing... when your kid is sick, taking time off for the inevitable school presentation or soccer game, etc... and you will be miserable and feel unvalued at every turn. I would suggest you look around for a different job and during interviews, ask about support and consideration for working parents. If you can (as you said) efficiently do some work from home, it should at LEAST be up for discussion.

Oh, wow! I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I know it does depend on your company's policy. When I was put on bed rest, I was trying to work to finish loose ends. My boss has and always has allowed us to work from home which is great, but the idea of part time work is not possible in my departmemt. So for me, it was work 40 hours or go on leave. It wasn't my boss' fault. It was a policy of my department which is why my boss' hands were tied.

I do admit that it is an discouraging and inappropriate comment for your boss to make. Have you thought about going to HR to voice your concerns? HR might have some more appropriate answers for you.

Thats a terrible comment!

Personally I would try to give it my all for a bit and then think about leaving if its just terrible. It so hard when they are little and go to bed so early. But even by age 1, my guy is up and happy and playing until 7:30 most nights.

I completely agree with the advice @mrs. wagon: has given. The comment she made is pretty indicative of her feelings towards work/family balance and I can just imagine future snarky comments if you can't stay late for a meeting or need to be at home because your kid is sick.

I am assuming that with your org being so small there is no HR person. I would want to know what her reasoning was for not working from home. Do you guys have any tools in place that will support working from home efficiently? Is it an impression issue where your subordinates may take advantage of your office absence? I would want to know exactly what her objections are. I would also think about looking elsewhere for a job if that family/work balance is important to you.

Good luck and I'm sorry that you have to deal with this kind of boss.

I would definitely be actively looking for a new, more family friendly job. I agree with pp that it sounds like she is going to push back and every little thing you're going to want to do regarding your children/family. In the meantime I would come back full force. Make yourself indispensable to her and then leave when you get a new job you can tell her that you really wanted a more family friendly environment and that's what you found. Hopefully that will really stick it to her.

Your boss' comment was extremely inappropriate and I would have a very hard time going back to work for her if it were me. It's probably time to search for a new job, and if you have an HR person, I would let them know about her comments.

It's fine that she denied the request but her comment is way out of line. I would quit if you can do so financially or actively look for another position.

@rpparker: That is a nasty comment, but I disagree that it is lawsuit-worthy. It's not family-friendly, but it's not discrimination if no one is allowed to work remotely. You mentioned this would allow you to spend a few more hours with your daughter, which suggests you probably wouldn't get as much work done if you're also spending time with her. This might be a concern of your boss. They're not able to accommodate what you want, so it is probably best to look for a job that's a better fit.

I'll be honest and I say that if I were your manager I likely would have denied your request as well. It sounds like you want to be paid full time but really only work part time since you intend to spend the time at home as extra time with your LO. You really can't spend quality time with your LO and WAH at the same time.

I think her comment was absolutely inappropriate. But maybe what she meant was just that the job might not still be a good fit for YOU because you want more time at home and this job just isn't condusive to that.

Personally, I wouldn't quit a job without another one lined up. But since this position clearly doesn't line up with your desires for work/life balance, I would start looking for something that does. Maybe look for something that is actually part time hours.

Wow, what a comment! Agree to get it in writing.

Could you do 4 10 hour days or something? Or work 9 hours and get a day off every two weeks? If she's totally inflexible then I'd look for a different opportunity.

@rpparker: Any way you can go part time? Like leaving at 3 and not working from home? Maybe that'd be a temporary solution. Just throwing it out there because I work part-time and have found it to be a good balance.

But I agree she sounds like she's going to be awful to work for as a mama. Because the reality is, I am totally committed to my job, but I still sometimes have to stay home when my kid is sick, or take off early to take her to appointments. If I didn't have a supportive workplace it'd be really hard.

@AmeliaBedilia: Though denying her request to work remotely isn't discriminatory, telling her that she might not be cut out to working that job because she's a mother is. She certainly wouldn't say that to a male coworker.

I telecommute, but I'm required to have childcare while working. So, I understand why she denied your request to work from home (especially if she knew you wouldn't have childcare).

However, her comment to you was extremly unprofressional at best and possibly illegal/discriminatory.

It seems like your ideal work environment isn't possible where you currently work, so I'd start looking for a new job. The first year after leave is tough. LO will get sick, you are still figuring everything out, etc. It sounds like your boss will make things unnecessarily difficult for you.

Super inappropriate comment! I would be upset. But I must say, I also don't think it's particularly appropriate to continue arguing with and trying to convince your boss who has told you that they aren't okay with employees working from home. It doesn't sound like you have really accepted that it is their right to make that decision and that they don't have to give you another option. I'm curious to know what came right before her inappropriate comment about you maybe not being able to do this job and be a mother - were you still pushing for her to change her mind? Or had the conversation actually moved on and then she just randomly said that?

I did end up leaving my job after having LO but personally, I know that my company did understand kids get sick and could be very flexible with work/family time, but they weren't okay with employees working from home. So if your bosses comment was out of the blue, I'd be concerned that she won't be flexible. But if she said it in response to you continually telling her how much you wanted to stay at home and different ways you could come back but not be in the office for as many hours, then I kind of get why she might say that. She still shouldn't have said it, she should know better...but I'd understand more.

Wow! I honestly can't blame her for denying the request, especially in such a small office, but the statement was way out of line.

I have spent my career in the nonprofit sector, and currently work for one now with 15 people on staff and no HR person. Before I got pregnant, my husband traveled 4-5 days/week and was only home on Fridays. I asked to work from home on Fridays, since I felt that I never saw him -- I got the same response from our CEO. "No because then I'd have to let everyone do it". It sucks, and I was upset, but looking back I totally understand why she said it.

The reality for me is that we have a lot of moms on staff, and we all just sort of come and go as needed -- you don't ask for special permission, you just do what needs to be done (sick days, school plays, special events, etc...). As long as no one misses a meeting or a deadline, no one else cares. Even with this reality, I know that if I asked for something special, I would be turned down again, like I was before. So I just do my thing, and it works out fine.

I agree that she was way out of line with her statement, and given that, she may not be someone you want to work for anymore. I think the reason my situation works out (ignore the rules, and do what you need) is that we all feel supported, even if it is "unofficially". So, if you look for a new job, I would focus on the culture and try to talk with existing staff there instead of asking about official policies. I know that at my organization, it would make a huge difference! And if you're in North Texas, I'm happy to help I know the nonprofits here pretty well!

@rpparker: Oh, I completely agree that her response was unacceptable! Especially as the boss!

Holy cow. Wow. Just. Wow!!!

I realize and understand some companies require their employees to be on-site due to the nature of their work, but that comment was uncalled for!