My office (only 15 people) is having a "Christmas" dinner this Saturday. Its being held late because some members traveled during Christmas. Spouses were not invited. Only three of us are married though, including the boss whose home the dinner will be at. I think its rude to not extend the invitation to spouses, but that could just be my opionion. Would you attend the dinner without your spouse? Feel free to comment.
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I think the spouses should have been invited but I would still go
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Yes, I would attend. I don't expect my spouse to be invited to any of my work events. It is nice (for me!) when that happens, but I don't expect it.
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Of course it's okay! It's a professional environment so I don't think anyone is obligated to include spouses. Plus that has the potential to make the single people feel awkward for being there alone. My DH just went to his office Christmas party last week and spouses weren't invited.... I was happy to hang out at home with LO and not deal with finding a sitter, etc.
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@JoJoGirl: exactly this!
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DH has a work event tonight that Im not invited to. Meh. No big deal.
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Spouses have rarely been invited to work dinners/functions I've attended, across several employers. I would attend, especially with such a small office.
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Yeah, I'd go. I wasn't invited to DH's Christmas dinner for his company. I think it was expensive enough for the owner with just having to pay for employees. DS and I had a fun night of shopping while he was at the party
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In my experience, not inviting spouses seems to be a pretty common thing for companies big and small. It's most likely a budget thing, unfortunately! But I would still go! Sometimes I like a little time away from my hubby.
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I see no problem in this, I feel like beasue so few are married it was done to make everyone feel comfortable. And in this situation, my DH would prefer to skip!
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yes, I'd go.
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Totally ok. Especially since it's held in the boss' home and it is a small team! Look at it like a team building dinner, not an anti-spouse dinner.
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We don't invite spouses when we invite our employees out or to our home, although we wouldn't mind if one of them asked to bring someone.
I think it makes sense to only invite people who work there to something like this. I realize that a married couple is a unit, but at work you really are still an individual.
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My former team and I went out for happy hour and dinner all the time, and our significant others never came. Invites were only extended when someone was leaving or we were celebrating an occasion that involves the significant other like a wedding or baby shower.
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Ahhh... I'm outnumbered
Must be just me then. I really don't want to go so perhaps I'm thinking up excuses lol.
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I think it's rude not to include spouses for a dinner party at someone's house, but I'd still go.
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I would go. Our Christmas party was after work - just employees. We've also done events after work just employees. It doesn't seem that unusual to me.
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I would go. DH's company doesn't include spouses for things.
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I put other because I'd go, but I don't think it's really appropriate in this context. For a work event, that's one thing, but for holiday events spouses should be included.
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I think the thing that makes this a little more awkward for me is the fact that the dinner is taking place AT the boss's house...? If it was a holiday dinner at a restaurant, I could see it as being just a work gathering, but if the boss is bringing you into his/her home, it feels more personal to me, and thus, a spouse should be invited. I'm assuming the boss isn't making his/her spouse leave the house for the party?
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Yes, i would attend without my spouse to a work event that just so happens to be dinner.
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Yes, I would attend! I don't think spouse less events are rude.
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Um, no. I wouldn't attend without my spouse.
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@Glitter: not just you! Your opinion is valid anyway...
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@raspberries: I agree.
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I voted other... I think spouses should have been invited, but I would still go.
Can you ask your boss if it's ok to bring your husband?
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I probably wouldn't go without DH, but I wouldn't make a big stink out of it. We just prefer to attend stuff together. Fortunately, DH's work invites all spouses to all events...even the boring ones I'd rather not go to
but I grin and bear it.
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I would go. Most work functions don't include spouses, although our xmas party does. And although I think it's nice when they are invited, I'd still go if they weren't.
@Glitter: Don't feel like you need to come to us to make up your mind! If you really don't want to go, you don't have to. There's no right or wrong answer here.
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I guess if the event were during working hours or even after work on a workday I would be fine. But since this is a Saturday evening, at my boss' home, his wife and kids would also be there, I find it a bit inconsiderate to not extend the invitation to spouses who would generally be spending their weekend (non-work time) together.
@raspberries: his wife and four kids will be there with us as well.
@kiddosc: I could probably ask.... but I feel I might be forcing an invitation out of him. And then there is one other married staff member to consider if I do decide to ask.
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@coopsmama: haha!
@.twist.: truth is I already decided not to go and DH and I made other plans for that evening, but I was just wondering how others would view the situation.
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In general, no I don't think work events need to include spouses. Also, I think if they are including spouses, shouldn't that mean people can be boyfriend/girlfriends?
However, having it at someone's home on a Saturday does make it more weird. Still, most events DH and I have had for work didn't include spouses, for cost reasons. DH prefers it because he gets bored
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@Glitter: I think it's very inconsiderate to not include spouses if it's outside of working hours and at someone's home. But I would still go and make it a short visit just to be a "team player" and promote friendliness among coworkers.
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I agree with @raspberries. It's one thing to not include spouses when an event is held out at a restaurant or something, but when it's in the boss' home, it just seems rude.
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@Glitter: I agree it's a bit weird as its at your bosses house but I guess he/she gets to call the shots!
I would go, I always feel that it looks bad professionally not to go to such things.
It's likely they excluded spouses due to space or budget concerns and also because in essence it is a work event where work will inevitably be a huge topic and would bore spouses! -
I would still go, but I do think its weird.
My DH has a company x-mas party without spouses (after work, in a huge venue) but then his "group" has a smaller party hosted by a higher up at his home and spouses are invited. I think the fact that it is a small office makes it even stranger that spouses aren't invited - meaning, its not like adding a +1 for everyone would make it a massive gathering at his house, it adds +3.
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It's perfectly okay for a work function to not include spouses as long as it's during work hours. For a Saturday, I think it was really rude not to invite spouses. They should absolutely understand if you decline because you cannot bring your husband.
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@psw27: Well there could be the issue that if they let those three married people bring their wives/husbands then they kind of have to extend a plus one to the rest of their employees. Then you might get random people in your home who are not even that attached to the employee who brought them.
I don't know, when I invite people to dinner parties in my home I know every single person attending with maybe the exception of one or two. I don't think I'd like having 12 random people I've never met before in my house.
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What work functions are during work hours?
I don't think it's rude, and i'd rather go to a work dinner without my husband anyways. Also, i think it's more awkward if only 3 people have a +1.
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@pui I guess that is possible, since we don't know if other 11 people (15- boss + 3 married) have significant others they'd like to bring along. I can't imagine scrambling for a date for a company dinner party at my boss' house. I'm assuming in a small office everyone is pretty comfortable with one another so they wouldn't feel inclined to bring a random date.
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Honestly since he's having it at his home with his wife there, I do think it's weird. My boss just hosted a team dinner at his home and all of our spouses were included! If it were on neutral ground I wouldn't think it was weird at all not to include spouses.
Must be just me then. I really don't want to go so perhaps I'm thinking up excuses lol.
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41 comments