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Both my kids have nursed to sleep and just slept on me for naps (I wear them when I need to get stuff done) they will occasionally nap in a swing. And we bedshare at night so they sleep next to me.
My 3 year old now goes to sleep on her own and sleeps in her own room. She's slept there easily since she was 2.
I think it's totally unreasonable to expect a tiny baby to sleep on their own, on their backs on a hard surface. They've spent the last 9 months sleeping somewhere warm where all their needs are met.

I just enjoy the snuggles ️

I'm sure other moms will have suggestions too but just another perspective

@foodiebee: you’re not doing anything wrong! All that sounds about right for a newborn. Sometimes I could put my girls down if they were super knocked out, but most of the tome o held or wore them until they were a few months old. I probably didn’t even start trying I earnest until they were out of their bassinets and into cribs. They are 3 and 5 now and sleep just fine on their own Do what you need to do!

I've nursed both my kids to sleep. I swear "drowsy but awake" is a myth for all but a tiny number of babies! With my son, I nursed him to sleep for 19 months. I hope to not do it for quite so long with my daughter, but I'm still doing it at 16 weeks. It works for us! She sleeps in her crib for pretty much all naps and nighttime sleep, I just put her in there after she falls asleep nursing. How long are you waiting after he falls asleep? Sometimes you need to wait around 20 minutes to make sure they're in a deep sleep before putting down. ETA: I will say, while we still don't do the drowsy but awake thing, I feel like I can put my daughter in when she's not super deep asleep now and she'll move around a bit, stick her thumb in her mouth, and go to sleep. Honestly, my first didn't suck his thumb, and it's been kind of amazing that my second does. Neither one took a paci at all, so I feel like she's much better at self-soothing. But until she discovered the thumb, she had to be DEEP asleep before putting her down.

My son did not do drowsy but awake at all until maybe around 4 months. He's now has very good sleep habits. The physiology of baby sleep changes so dramatically over the first six months, there is plenty of time to form good habits after fourth tri, and it's much much easier usually when they're a bit older and more physiologically mature.

What worked for us when I was exhausted and needed to nap too (sometimes) was side lying nursing, then we'd both drift off to sleep, when he started to wake up per usual 20 minutes later he could put himself right back to sleep b/c the boob was already in his mouth and I got some much needed rest.

newborns are hard!

Oh, mama, you are doing EVERYTHING right!! I nursed my son to sleep, let him sleep on me, rocked him to sleep, and it got to the point that we would just lay him in his crib awake and he would go right to sleep. I don't adhere to a lot of the sleep habits as being ride or die. Your baby just wants you. There is PLENTY of time to develop independent sleeping habits. Just enjoy the snuggles. Swings are great for when you want your arms to yourself.

@foodiebee: first, for me 5 weeks with my first was and remains my lowest point in parenting. you got this!! it will get better. second, i could have written your post. there is a LOT of advice out there about how to get your babies on a schedule and i honestly think listening to it so much made me way more miserable on my mat leave with my first than i had to be. with my second, because i was so busy with my first, i just fed her when she seemed hungry, and tried to get her to go to sleep when she seemed tired, and if she wouldn't i just picked her back up. both my kids ultimately grew into really solid sleepers but getting newborns to nap is a struggle for soooo many. don't be afraid to just hold the baby for a nap while you watch tv and give yourself a break.

@foodiebee: my daughter had pretty high sleep needs that early (felt like 24 hours/day), and was crying pretty much every second she was awake, yet would fight going to sleep so hard and sleep for minimal time if I did get her to sleep too - it was impossible. She wouldn’t even fall asleep nursing after 2 weeks old - she would get tired but then just get mad instead of going to sleep. I eventually found if I nursed her while bouncing gently on a yoga ball, she could get to sleep. Enough distraction or something. I’d keep bouncing until she went into a deeper sleep (maybe ten - fifteen mins after she first fell asleep) then I could move to the couch. No putting her down until I was ready for her to wake up, haha. It was SO HARD and it felt like the longest, hardest stage that we’d never escape. It took a while (months). But it did get better eventually. Mentally it was so hard but doable once I fully embraced being a couch potato, watching crappy tv all day, and neglecting everything else.. Hopefully your situation is not so extreme! but I thought I’d share what worked for me, just in case

Just wanted to say do what works for you.

DS1 pretty much only napped on me and always nursed to sleep. He’s 6 now and a pretty good sleeper.

DS2 is 10 months. Until recently he always nursed to sleep. At about 4 months we did drowsy but awake for bed, it took a few days but he got it. Now if he doesn’t nurse for naps he will go down and fuss a few minutes. For the first 4ish months he napped in th RnP in the living room or on me.

My daughter wouldn't nap for more than 30 minutes unless she was on someone until she was a year old!! If we wanted more than 30 minutes we had to hold her or wear her. It was kind of brutal at times, but looking back I'm so glad I got all the snuggles I did. And pretty much the week she turned one she started napping in the crib for 2+ hours at a time and did for as long as she kept napping (she did drop the nap tragically early, though...by 2.5 she was basically through).

All that to say, you're not doing anything wrong, try to enjoy the snuggles, it will get better eventually, and you're definitely not screwing up their sleep forever.

This is how we roll for naps at our house, nurse to sleep, cuddle for five minutes then into the Mountain Buggy to nap outside!

We got a two month stint when Eloise (now fifteen months) would nap in her cot but she’s otherwise had every nap in either the pram, the carrier, the car or my arms!

You’re doing great, Mama, keep up the good work!

I am a FTM too and honestly I have started to take the approach of letting my instincts tell me what to do. So far so good I think! I do come here for advice now and then but I am trying to refrain from doing what the "experts" say and just doing what I think is best.

You got this!!

My son is 3.5 months and will sleep in his crib for naps but if for some reason he is just not having it, I let him sleep on me. I'd rather he sleep than be cranky. We are all happier that way!