We have a 2.5 yr old and he hits ALL THE TIME. I don't think it's a verbal frustration thing.. he just hits bc he wants to!!! His target is usually his big sister (who sometimes does deserve it for bugging him).. but a lot of times it's out of no where and for no reason. He also kicks and throws things at people.... I am the target of the kicks, usually during diaper changes and A LOT at bedtime (I lay in bed with him) and he throws everything... food/toys/his paci/anything he can get his hands on.

I am at a loss. DD who is 5 yo was frightened of a raised voice and would stop whatever she was doing immediately but DS has NO fear of a raised voice, in fact if you raise your voice to him he actually just yells back So that is not a solution.

We do time outs and he does seem to get it. He'll sit and then we ask him why he's there and he'll say "me hit sis" and we will say that there is no hitting and make him apologize. But he'll be right back to it in literally seconds some times.

At bedtime he gets so riled up that he thrashes around, hitting and kicking and flipping all over I try to calm him... I talk in a calm voice, I've tried counting and singing.. I sometimes just hug him to get him to settle but none if it really works. Honestly the only thing that has worked at bedtime and I've had to do it 3 times is a small pop to his bottom. He doesn't like it but it's like he finally gets that I am being serious and he'll settle... but I really don't want to do that at all!!!!

I am at a loss..... and I feel like I am failing him.

is this normal? when will it end? what should we do?