My 4yo DD has been waking around 6am for the past week crying and complaining of her "tummy hurting". She usually sleeps until 7:30 and always been a fantastic/deep deep sleeper. At first we just thought she was hungry (she is not a big dinner eater but is a very adventurous/healthy eater in general) and so we worked on encouraging her to eat protein/filling food for dinner at night. It dawned on me last night as DH and I were fighting AGAIN that she may have been picking up on my stress and it is manifesting itself as a physical pain for her. Of course we try to limit arguments to when the kids are in bed but who knows what she hears or just picks up by my general level of stress. We are committed to working things out but in the mean time I'm just so upset it's affecting her! Ideas?
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From a child of parents who tried to argue so we didn't know about it. We both knew and it was far more stressful that my parents were trying to hide it. My brother and I both worried that they were arguing because of or about us. It was far better later when they came out and told us they were having adult problems and were trying to work them out. Knowing it wasn't because of us allowed us to relax some (not that your parents arguing all the time is great but took alot of stress off). Both my parents also seemed less stressed since they weren't trying to hide all the arguments.
My parents eventually got divorced which turned out to be the absolute best thing for our family but I know it doesn't always turn out that way. All the love
parenting and relationships are so so hard
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I don’t think you are wrong.
DD has a tummy ache recently and was just backed up. Try some apple juice 🤷‍♀️
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Your instinct could be right, but when my DD complains of a tummy ache upon waking, it’s usually because she needs to pee really badly. It quite often takes 5-10 minutes after she has gone potty for her tummy to feel normal again.
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It could certainly be stress-related, but when my son complains of a tummy ache several days in a row it's been strep every time. It's really random and that's his only symptom, but it has happened that way three separate times, so I sorta just know now.
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@MamaBear87: thanks. great, easy advice. I'm also a child of divorce and am SO happy my parents are now both much happier with new partners. That is not our plan right now, but it's important she knows that for sure.
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I definitely think there are other possibilities as mentioned but my oldest does get stomachaches from anxiety. She just is a worrier in general. What has helped is talking ... probably harder at 4 but maybe you can get her to open up about what she is worrying about so you can discuss it if it is coming from you. For my dd it can be school, an activity, really anything. She just turned 7 so different level of understanding but now we can talk about how sometimes your stomach hurts when you worry and talk about what might be behind it, and just acknowledging it helps.
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Maybe... but kids' tummies hurt for so many reasons. Tummy bug, being backed up, walking too fast, stress in school...
@SeptMomma12: ugh, same! I took the poor kid to ER the first time it happened, because it sounded like appendicitis. Nope, just an odd presentation of strep.
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It could be stress, but 95% of the time when my LOs have a tummy ache, which is at least once a week, they just have to poo and are fine after.
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@Mrs. Pajamas: could it be poop related? maybe constipation?
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@Mrs. Pajamas: are y ou noticing any other signs of stress in her? Not impossible but unusual for it to be the only symptom of stress. I would think it's more likely a bug of some sort or having to pee as suggested above or a change in diet or even something making her gassy? Could be backed up even if she's been pooping. Hope you figure it out soon!
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UDPATE: thankfully the issue is definitely constipation. We're giving her miralax to get things going, encouraging her to drink more water, take her time on the pottty, etc. The crying is so annoying/sad every morning though. I'm trying so hard to resist telling her, wait til you give birth, then talk to me about pain! Hahahaha
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I've written on here before about my gastrointestinal issues and I am 100% positive that they were manifesting at that young of an age. I remember asking for something to make it hurt less and my mother eventually gave me some kind of meds, but then I was scared it was going to happen all the time. If it continues, I would probably take her to the doctor to check her out.
Also, I think you are doing a really great job at being aware of the stress issue/possibility.
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@Mrs. Pajamas: I was just going to write this.... my son tends to get constipated often, even though he still poops every day! It's so weird... we end up doing miralax for a week or so and it goes away. I've started changing up his diet a bit to try to help so we don't have to rely on miralax forever.
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Follow up: so she finally started pooping out what seemed to be blocking her up last night (day 11 of this) but is still resisting bedtime and waking up too early and wanting us to come sleep with her. It seems like she's scared of going to bed because she knows she'll wake up uncomfortable due to constipation, and then once she has that feeling she'll try pooping, and doesn't want to try going back to sleep. I'm so so so exhausted with all the wake ups. We've tried many things to reassure her that her bed is safe, sleeping is the best thing for everyone, etc. but I'm super worried this is a long term issue now. Any thoughts to comfort her but still be firm that we sleep in our own beds and she will be OK?
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@Mrs. Pajamas: I don't know if this will help you but our dr has our one year old on daily miralax because every time we go off she gets constipated. He said they often resist pooping and t gets worse. He said we really have to take the long view here, it isn't something that'll be over in a couple weeks. So you may want to talk to the dr about a good dosage to get things moving better. We were told to increase basically until it was diarrhea then dial back but not completely go off of it yet. And this is on a one year old!
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@Mrs. Pajamas: I think she's old enough for you to try explaining that if she drinks well and eats lots of vegetables, her tummy will feel better soon. It might reassure her somewhat.
This has been a long term problem for my kids though. Until they get through it, I have to sit with them in the bathroom because they're scared otherwise
And have to be obsessive about fluid intake and not letting them eat a lot of grain products. Daily Miralax is a good idea too.
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@Mrs. Pajamas: I don’t know that this would be helpful in your case, but when my 3 year old was constipated and fearful of going because it hurt, I started giving her an m&m when she pooped. It was enough of an incentive to sit and try at least instead of jumping right off because she was afraid. Hers wasn’t too bad though, so our pediatrician has me giving her a probiotic daily and juice more often. And she happily eats baby food prunes so I give her that a few times a week too. Poor baby.
And have to be obsessive about fluid intake and not letting them eat a lot of grain products. Daily Miralax is a good idea too.
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