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@MrsFarmer: Thank you for the kind words - you're so sweet!! I know that we really haven't been trying for that long and that I shouldn't be so discouraged yet - it's just hard sometimes. Plus my sister-in-law is at the hospital right now giving birth to her second "ooops" baby and I think that's what is making it harder for me. I had just assumed that I would be pregnant before she had her second, and then when she announced her pregnancy, I had assumed we would be pregnant at the same time for some of it, and now that's not true either.
We're young and haven't been trying for that long, so I know that I should try to stay positive and that I need to keep things in perspective. It's just hard sometimes when you had all these plans and ideas about things and then they don't come true. I guess what's really frustrating is that this is the first time I really DON'T have control of the situation, and I don't know how to deal with it. I've always been able to do whatever I could to get the outcome I wanted from doing well in school, ensuring I got into a good college, ensuring I gave myself the best opportunities to get a good job, etc. This is the first time where I can do everything right and still not have the outcome I was looking for, and I think that's really daunting for me.
This month I think Hubs and I are going to go back to every other day for having sex. We tried every day and were successful one cycle, but the next we just got upset and angry at each other and it was a total flop. I'm hoping going back to every other will help in that it will be less stressful AND it'll cover a larger window. Instead of doing three days in a row, hoping I ovulate within that small window, we'll do three days, every other to cover a larger window incase I ovulate early or late.
We're also going to try Pre-Seed. I bought it for last cycle, but only got to use it once, so hopefully I'll get to use it more often this time around and we'll have better luck.
Wishing all my 6+ month buddies the very best! I hope we see some BFPs on this thread soon!
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@Adira: I'm glad I could help a bit. Sometimes all it takes to make a person feel better is a little bit of love and compassion. It usually makes me feel a ton better and like I'm not alone in the TTC world.
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@Leialou: If you don't mind my asking, how is the fertility testing going for you and your husband? It's kind of a big step to take!
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@mrsfarmer I don't mind at all. We actually had out testing done back in January and early February. At my annual exam I mentioned to my gyno that we had been TTC for 9 months with no luck. My doctor decided to go ahead and test us. Everything came back normal with me but my husband had a low sperm count, low morphology, and low motility. He was referred to an urologist and after more testing was diagnosed with varicoceles (enlarged blood vessels in the scrotum which cause overheating, killing sperm). He had surgery to correct the problem on March 1. Then we have to wait for three months to see if the surgery worked because sperm takes 64 days to mature and they want to be sure all the old sperm is gone when he gives the next sample. His next appointment to give the sample is June 18. This cycle I started charting again and we are back to TTC actively. We're now acting like all is normal until we hear otherwise.
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@MrsFarmer: so well said! I would "like" your comment if I could! We all just gotta stay positive, because everything happens for a reason! I keep telling myself that, but it's extremely hard to swallow time and again after 6+ cycles..:(
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@Adira: Whoah, we have somewhat parallel lives. My sister-in-law is due with their second any minute now and it's an 'oops' baby, too. I am truly happy for them but am just waiting for my BFP so we can have kids that can play together.
Yeah, as for your struggles. I struggle with that, too. I'm a planner. I have everything mapped out. I see a therapist for anxiety issues for non-baby related things and she always has to remind me to live in the NOW. I have things mapped out for the next 2-3 years and this TTC process just throws a wrench into my planning.
I'm a positive person when it comes to everything else but myself. I'm so over-critical of myself. I'm actually in a good mood because of what the fertility doctor is recommending for us. But sometimes when people tell me that I will get pregnant in due time, I just can't seem to get out my head that someone (God?) doesn't think it's the right time. For me, it seems like I'm running out a time. Not when it comes to my age but other serious life issues. And you know I always thought I was a good person who tries so hard to put others before myself, like volunteer and donate blood and be on the bone marrow registry. I even went through the process of egg donation. (Of course, they denied me.) I guess I believe in Karma and I thought good things happen to good people. I know I'm way overthinking things but that is what goes through my head.
I know they say that it takes a year to get pregnant, but is that really trying? I've been off BC for a year and a half. I always saw those polls where they say there is a high percentage get pregnant in 3 months. I thought we wouldn't have trouble. I didn't think we were going to be those lucky couples who get pregnant on their first try but I thought we could do it in 3-4 months.
Sorry for venting. I hope my comment doesn't make this thread negative. I just had to say it to someone who understands.
Well, anyway, I'm don't have a lot of faith this cycle since I couldn't BD as much because we were out of town and I'm pretty excited about getting AF so I can get my day 3 blood work done and then get my tubes flushed. I'm taking little steps.
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@bluestriped bee: We sound soooo similar! I'm a huge planner too and I have had things totally mapped out, and this TTC process is really messing me up. My husband and I want two children close in age, but now that it's taking so long to get pregnant with the first, I worry about our ability to get pregnant quickly with the second. Maybe I won't have kids close in age at all!
I also thought the same as you! Everyone told me that you're the most fertile as soon as you drop the pill, so I just assumed that I would go off birth control and get pregnant within the first few months! Now that it's been six months, I wonder if that means my chances aren't as high.
I also thought those statistics about people getting pregnant might not include those who chart and KNOW exactly when they ovulate. I thought my chances would be better because I chart and so I'd be able to get pregnant easier. Now that's not the case, I'm worried that there's something wrong.
You were smart to get testing done so early. I think that if this cycle isn't it for us, I'll have testing done too. I definitely am not willing to wait a YEAR to find out if something's wrong.
*hug* Everyone who's been trying for so long, I hope we all see our BFPs soon!
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@Leialou: That's wonderful they were able to find something that should hopefully be corrected by the surgery. I'm sure you must be so excited that you will be able to begin TTCing again! Thanks for sharing.
@cokiezombie: I'm glad I could help a little. The longer it takes the more uneasy it makes a person, but hang in there, lady! How long have you been TTC?
@bluestriped bee: Don't worry. Sharing your frustrations isn't making the thread negative. We ALL have days like that. I'm a planner too, but that is GREATadvice from your therapist to live in the moment.
@Adira: I'm on a self imposed two months break from charting, but I charted for 8 months and found that I O super regularly, so that makes me worry as well that there might be something else wrong...Oh well, if this cycle is a bust, I think we're on our way towards beginning testing and finding that out!
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@MrsFarmer: I'm not sure if I could take a break from charting or not, haha. I think not knowing would make me even more stressed! But I think I'm like you - I seem to be pretty regular. I don't ovulate the EXACT same day every cycle, but it's within three days (CD 14 - CD 16). I AM going to try to be less forceful about when we have sex though - I'm going back to every-other instead of every day in order to cover a bigger window (and have a higher sperm count).
Good luck to you. I hope you don't have to do any testing and you get a BFP instead!
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Ladies, I'm starting to freak out.
I started this cycle really depressed (ugh, six cycles already - how the time flies... I can only imagine what it's like for those of you who have been trying for a year+). Then I started to get excited and optimistic again. And now I'm totally stressing out! What if we don't get pregnant this cycle? What if we don't have sex in our window like last time? What if we get into another stupid fight?? And NOW I'm stressing out ABOUT stressing out! What if this stress is going to mess up ovulating! What if this stress is going to make my womb an inhospitable place for sperm! Ahhhh! How do you handle it???
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@Adira: Take a few deep breaths! You can't control everything...13 cycles of TTC has taught me that. You just give it your best every month and hope for the best. The rest is really out of your control.
A friend of mine posted a wise status on facebook regarding deployment that an older Navy wife shared with her, "Don't wish away the days. Try to enjoy each day; you can't them back. Because before you know it, you'll have wished away a good part of your life." I know she was speaking about deployment and waiting for her husband to return, but the same lesson really applies to us with TTC. I've thought about that phrase a lot this week and it's really helped me to be less depressed somewhat at peace with our TTC journey and more appreciative of my husband and our time together right now. We have a really active thread for ladies TTC for 6+ months on WeddingBee. You can always come join us there too.
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@MrsFarmer: Such good advice! You are so right! I'm so appreciative of the support of all the ladies here. I think I'd go a little insane without you gals. Thank you so much!
I went to the gym and feel a lot calmer now, haha. Plus I'm only CD 5 this cycle, so plenty of time still left before the TWW and the real freak-out.
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@Adira Whenever I feel like this, I try to take a step back and think of things long-term...In 5 years, will waiting another 3, 6, etc months really make a difference? Probably not...It's torture to wait day-by-day, I'm so sorry you're struggling with this (I def feel your pain) but I think looking at things from a wider perspective might help...Now repeat after me 'It will happen when it happens but it WILL happen.' That's my new motto
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@Trailmix: That's definitely a good motto! I think I'm usually not such a spaz about this - I have no idea why I'm stressing out so much. Everyone is right of course and there really isn't a need for us to rush. Plus there's a ton of stuff that Hubs and I could do while we're not pregnant, so I should try to enjoy those things.
Thanks ladies!
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@Adira: Sorry, you felt that way. Hugs!! There have been times where I've felt like that. For me, it seems like I'm just having one of those days where I'm just stressing. Maybe I'll go out and do something that lifts my spirit or sometimes going to bed early help me. I'm usually in a funk for a couple days after my BFN but then my mood usually improves.
@MrsFarmer: Great advice, I like that. I'll need to remember that.
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@bluestriped bee: Yes, I know what you mean! I think my mood is already starting to improve! I appreciate all your ladies so much being here to listen to me and keep me sane! I definitely need it!!
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@Adira: Oh, that's good. I'm glad you are finding support in this thread.
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Does anyone feel like resurrecting this thread with me? Or maybe some updates from the ones who are/were already part of this group? (I'm looking at you, @Adira!) I'm on CD1 of TTC cycle 6, and I'm trying not to think about how long it's actually been, or is going to be, but like others have said, there's something about that 6 month mark that is really a bummer. I have a follow up appointment with my GYN in October, and I'm hoping I'll be able to get the ball rolling on blood work and next steps.
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@Rachel: CD13 of cycle 6 here.
I'm going to call an RE my next CD1 if it arrives.
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@JoJoGirl: Well I hope that monitor does the trick and you don't have to make that call!
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@Rachel:
I'm sorry this CD1 is such a bummer. I totally feel you.
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@Rachel: Don't look at me!
Cycle 6 was my lucky cycle, so I'm a 6 month TTC graduate!I was really depressed to hit Cycle 6, because in a way, I felt like it was our last shot. I know that sounds crazy, because we are still young and it takes lots of people longer than 6 cycles to get pregnant, but it just seemed like six months was THE NUMBER I had in my head.
Things we did differently in cycle 6: We used Pre-Seed and Hubs did NOT perform oral before having sex. We had sex a couple times BEFORE my fertile window (this was my way of working Hubs up). During the fertile window, we had sex three times: O-3 morning, O-1 afternoon, and O evening (it might have actually been O-2 morning, O afternoon, and O+1 evening). After having sex each time, I propped my legs up on the wall and I both prayed and visualize the sperm meeting up with my egg. Then everyday after O day, I tried to spend some time visualizing the egg being fertilized, splitting, and implanting. I also lit a candle on the Full and New Moons and prayed for fertility. Who knows WHAT, if any, of that really mattered, but that's what I did!
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@Adira: That's exactly WHY I was looking at you - you're a success story
Thanks for the tips (I like that visualizing the egg splitting/implanting thing) and congrats!
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@Rachel: Thanks! I honestly don't know what works and what doesn't, but I've heard a lot of good things about Circle+Bloom, which is basically used for meditation and visualizing everything that your body is doing. I didn't buy it, but I figured I'd try to use the techniques anyway with the visualization stuff. I think doing that also helped keep me calm during our last cycle, so I wasn't a big stress-ball like I normally am. I'm assuming being more relaxed probably helped too, though that's certainly easier said than done!
I hope Cycle 6 is your lucky cycle!!!
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@Rachel: This is Cycle 8 for me. And cycle 6 really does suck. I blame it on the stats that say "by 6 months x % will be pregnant". Makes it more of a milestone and therefore more sucky.
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@Rachel: I'm on CD14 of our 7th cycle - I'll probably give it one more cycle after this before making any doctor appointments; in the meantime just trying to focus on being healthier all-around!
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@Adira: FASCINATING techniques!!!
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Crawling over here b/c I think Cycle 6 is imminent for me. I've been contemplating making an appointment around October-ish, although I don't know if the next step after the urologist is an RE. Do you guys think I have to be 35 to see an RE at 6 months? Or that the gyn will tell me that at 31 I need to have been TTC a year for any testing?
BTW, I've used Circle+Bloom and love it, even though I never fail to fall asleep halfway through because I'm so relaxed! They do a different visualization every day, and it's never too much or too little talking.
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I'm pretty sure I'm about to start Cycle 8 (although it's only been 5 months thanks to short cycles)...It sucks.
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@mrsnana: healthier all around - me too! Good outlook
@spaniellove: Noooooooo!! I refuse your admission to this thread - your chart is too pretty
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@spaniellove: I also refuse you admission to this thread!!
I started a thread last week about the 35+ issue and my insurance company said based on my situation (34 and trying 6 months) I would be covered. I'd just call your insurance company and find out.
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@Trailmix: hugs! I feel for you, I have a short LP as well - I'm hoping I'll get put on progesterone (RX strength) and maybe Clomid when I go back to the Dr.
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@Rachel & @JoJoGirl: Maybe I'll see what the urologist says in 2 weeks - whether he suggests IUI or not.
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Haha! Just realized that I'm the 6 month or more dropout!!
Still here but not TTC. When I do start TTC, can I continue counting at where I left off... The 8th month? Or do I have to start over?
Well, I'm sorry for some of the new members to the club. I hope you guys don't stay long.
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@bluestriped bee: Hi! Good to see you sticking around HB during your hiatus!
As the creator of the thread I think you get to stay in the club (lucky you, sucky club to be in, haha)
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I guess i sorta fall into this group. We've been trying since January, i ovulate every month between CD 14 an CD16, I've gotten my blood drawn for hormone tests, gotten an HSG with an "all clear" result and BD-ing at the right times. At this point, i have somewhat resigned to fate and i am still having the HARDEST time convincing DH to go get an SA. Any Ideas?
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@Rachel: Thanks. Yeah, I guess I don't mind staying in this club.
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I still haven't graduated from the club. I'm on the tww of cycle 16.
@beetones: my husband didn't like the idea of getting a SA. It took my doctor referring him to have tests done for him to do it, and even then he wasn't happy about it. Unfortunately we found out he has fertility issues and have been seeing an urologist to get him treated.
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Totally forgot that this thread was here. I'm still around. CD6, month 20. Diagnosed with PCOS, which explains a few things. DH's SA came back totally normal, so we know its just problems on my end.
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I just wanted to stop in and wish everyone luck. It took me 20 months (with IVF) but my best friend conceived right around the same time after nearly as long without any intervention whatsoever.
It'll happen!!
Cycle 6 was my lucky cycle, so I'm a 6 month TTC graduate!
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