http://www.forbes.com/sites/learnvest/2012/06/28/7-ways-youre-hurting-your-daughters-future/
I think gender stereotypes are harmful to everyone - but this was a great article about girls/daughters that resonated with me! My Dad wanted me to be a boy so I think I sidestepped some of these because he treated me like one, haha!
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I think about this kind if stuff a lot. We find ourselves saying how pretty C is all the time and I know I want to watch it when she gets older. We thought she was a boy the whole pregnancy (team green) so we never had a princessy frou frou girl in mind, and Dh is planning to teach her all the same things as he did if she was a boy.
pomegranate / 3388 posts
I like this article! We try treat DD as if gender doesn't matter. We buy gender-neutral toys, and we tell her that she's smart and amazing at least as often as we tell her that she's pretty. I figure that she has so many people in her life who will indoctrinate her into the girly-girl culture. At least we can try to teach her at home that she is valued for things other than being sweet and quiet and pretty.
(FWIW, I still do some pretty girly things with DD, like shopping and obsessing over clothes, but I try to make that type of activity only one small part of what I share with her.)
pomelo / 5093 posts
What a great article. This is a pretty big issue for me, as anyone who's ever met me knows. I find the 'teaching girls to be quiet' one to be the most insidious. Yeah - lots of parents don't want to hear a ton of loud noise. But I find that it ends up getting applied to boys a lot less frequently because 'boys will be boys'.
End of story, my daughter is loud. She's learning about places where we all need to be quiet (library, etc), but besides that, nope. Loudest child I've ever met.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
According to this article my parents did most things right.
I remember sayinv "yeah" to my pediatrician's question once and my dad stopped the conversation to correct me that it was "yes, sir or doctor". My parents would high five me when I challenged the status quo like telling my HS administrators Confederate flags on back ups and clothing was offensive and created a hostile learning environment.
My dad always had me help him out with yard work or putting stuff together. I went on snooping adventures with the boys in the neighborhood. My mom was academically gufyed and I heard "you're pretty" just as much as "you're bright or talented".
Really good reminder that the messages our girls receive start at home.
persimmon / 1171 posts
I'm in the minority to where I like certain gender roles. I like that the chores inside the house are my responsibility and outside belong to the husband. My mom was the opposite growing up, she did all the handy work and my dad was in charge of cleaning the kitchen (: I think my daughter will decide for herself which she prefers regardless of what I specifically expose her to. I could be wrong, all I care about it that she's happy.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6581 posts
I like the article! 
I struggle a lot with projecting a good relationship with my body. I have terrible self esteem and don't want LO to catch it. I really need to work on that.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Phew. Looks like we're doing things right so far 
Thanks for sharing!
honeydew / 7687 posts
@hellocupcake: I don't think there is anything wrong with preferring or liking things that are traditionally ascribed to your gender. I think there is something wrong with a parent explaining that preference as "because women are supposed to clean the house" or "only men are strong enough to mow the lawn" etc. etc. Maybe that's not what you meant But I am a SAHM who loves to cook, bake, and sew and does most of the traditional housework now that I'm not working (when I was, it was 50/50 shared) - and I am a feminist who thinks about this stuff frequently!
@Bookish: Growing up I NEVER heard my Mom say anything negative about her body/weight/self image/dieting and thought it was a conscious decision.. until recently (at 24) she started whining about calories and "she shouldn't (have that piece of cake). I asked if she changed her ways because I was older and not impressionable any more and she replied that no, she had just been naturally skinny before and now as she ages she's getting heavier. (palm to forehead).
honeydew / 7687 posts
@sarac: I hate that phrase (as a mother of a son) and all the similar ones "he's all boy!" "He's such a boy!" UGH drives me nuts. Rowdy/loud/rough is not gender specific and implying it is just reinforces that. Definitely a hot button for me too!
pineapple / 12234 posts
I really like this. I feel like my mom really pushed for my sisters and I to be quiet and polite. Polite is great but I hated voicing my opinions as a child and being laughed at! I'm trying to avoid that with both of my children.
I also don't care for the boys will be boys saying (it makes me roll my eyes). I don't mind the "he's all boy" comments because I feel like so many people have said it to us, eh? I feel like it's similar to describing a man as a "mans man". But I do see what it can imply.
persimmon / 1171 posts
@scg00387: I guess I mean it as I wouldn't stop her if she wanted to now the lawn or buy a GI-Joe vs a Barbie, but I won't go out of my way to present "boy" toys to her just to expose her to it. I feel like people are trying so hard to just gender neutralize everything, I don't see it as necessary. I don't look down on that decision either, just not something I think is super important.
Side note: the husband grew up with girl cousins his age, they always tell me how when he was younger he wouldn't even eat off of pink plates because those were for girls. Although I admit the story is adorable, I wouldn't want my son to have that mentality either (: Now the husband wears pink ties and purple suspenders and every other "girly" color (: hehe
honeydew / 7687 posts
@hellocupcake: I know what you mean. I guess I don't see it as gender neutralizing, necessarily. Toys didn't used to be marketed this way and I think it's just now falling out of style to have a "pink" and "blue" aisle as parents start to object.
Generally speaking, I think it's harmful for girls to be reminded/reinforced that their appearance is priority #1 and harmful for boys to be discouraged from playing with "caretaker" toys like dolls. The bulk of traditional "boys" toys are much more active and construction/building based - which I think all kids benefit from playing with!
So, I certainly won't be hiding all the train sets and cars from my son because they're "typical boy toys" and shoving dolls and strollers in his face but I will be making sure those are options for him
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