I'm celebrating being 20 weeks pregnant with our twins instead of holding my baby. All day today I was on a high celebrating our 20 week milestone. I kept saying to myself "to blessed to be stressed". Then DH had a temper tantrum at the doctors office over stupid stuff that was stressing him out (this happens a lot lately). Later I had a little melt down, vented & cried with my mom. I still feel so very blessed because as I type this I can feel my babies moving. DH still doesn't know that today was our due date. I'm not sure I want to say anything. He has been under so much stress lately that I would hate to add one more thing to his plate. I guess it just finally hit me & I needed to see things typed out into words.
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*hugs*
I understand it. It's good to hang onto the positive things. Maybe you can tell him about it once he calms down.
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Hugs to you! Glad you're able to have a silver lining in your day.
I've purposely "deleted" the exact due dates from my mind, since it would be too painful to dwell on it every year. Instead, once we're in our next house, I'm thinking of planting trees to honor both. Ideally, the trees would bloom or fruit on the due months.
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Hugs.
I remember being sad on my original due date. Very understandable. I will say though that now that I have my LO, I know that she was meant to be mine and I understand that I never would have had her without that loss. I will always feel sad about that first pregnancy, and I visit baby's tree (that has a cross carved in it in his/her memory), but the heartbreak has been replaced by a lotof joy. I do believe things happen for a reason. Congrats on your twins!!!
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@Mrs.Someone: That would be so beautiful
@Sugar.Biscuit: Hugs to you today. It's such a sad thing to be reminded of. :'(
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@Mrs.Someone: I had it on my calender & neglected to delete it so I got a notification this morning...oops. I love the idea about the tree. I'd want to donate a tree to a park. That way if I ever moved I could continue to go back to it when ever I wanted.
@78h2o: Thanks. My mom says God is making up for what he had to take to soon.
I kind of feel like a fool for feeling this way considering how blessed we are to be pregnant again, pregnant with twins, and at 20 weeks. I feel more joy than sorrow but there was still a loss & there is a small void that will never be filled.
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I'm so happy that you have happy, healthy, squirming babies inside of you to help you get through this tough time.
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@Sugar.Biscuit: I have a friend who bought a tree one day and planted it herself in a park near her house. Of course its not guaranteed that it will do well, but as long as it can go "unnoticed", why not! Her tree is still doing well and I think the city even mulches it for her every year (they have no idea they didn't plant it).
And you shouldn't feel silly! A loss is something we're all going to remember for the rest of our lives. Its important to remember, and even more important to reflect on where you are today.
I love my tree idea and even know what kinds of trees to plant, we just don't have the space at this house.
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Hugs, hugs, hugs. Times a million!!
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@Sugar.Biscuit: Big, Big hugs!! I remember when my first due date came around in February, it was rough. I cried a lot because I was upset that I still wasn't pregnant again. In reality, I had ovulated 3 days before and I didn't know it then, but I was pregnant. Focus on those beautiful babies kicking inside you
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Big hugs to you!! Definitely a bittersweet kind of day.. glad you have your two kicking babies in the belly & sad that today is a day of remembrance of your angel baby (& not an in your arms baby).
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Hugs for you! I'm so happy for you and your pregnancy! Feeling those sweet babies kick is the best feeling.
I also had a miscarriage prior to my pregnancy. Like you, which is crazy, I was also 20 weeks pregnant when my first baby should have been born. My husband forgot and didn't know. but I felt a certain sadness for the loss of the baby that I should have had that week and oh so greatful for the one that I would end up having 17 weeks later.
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Sad day but a day you can smile to know the babies in your belly are growing big and strong.
I was about 8 weeks pregnant when our rainbow baby would've been due...
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@Mrs.Someone: I LOVE this idea! But mine were December and January babies, when everything is dead in the winter in the NE. So maybe just a nice flowering spring tree
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@Sugar.Biscuit: Big hugs to you! That due date is tough, no matter where you are. Maybe you'll find the right moment later on to say something to your DH, whether or not it happens to be today. I'm so glad you have your twins on the way - congrats again!
@Mrs.Someone: I love your tree idea too! We have a tradition of adding an angel ornament to our tree for each special person in our lives who has passed that year and I found an angel in Peru for this year's tree.
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@LovelyPlum: Yea, that could be tougher. Mine were March and August, so Magnolia (March) and Plum (August) would be perfect. 2 of my favorite trees anyway. My thinking is that when I see them bloom, I'll remember, then see the beauty/eat the yummy fruit.
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@spaniellove: Thats a sweet idea! Planting trees are a tradition for jews when a child is born, so this one seems perfect to me (even though nobody in my family does it).
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((Hugs)) I like the tree idea too! Also, I'm super excited for you and the growing babies!
I remember being sad on my original due date. Very understandable. I will say though that now that I have my LO, I know that she was meant to be mine and I understand that I never would have had her without that loss. I will always feel sad about that first pregnancy, and I visit baby's tree (that has a cross carved in it in his/her memory), but the heartbreak has been replaced by a lotof joy. I do believe things happen for a reason. Congrats on your twins!!!
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