I'm looking for advice on how to support a family that my husband and I both know for different reasons. They have a preschooler and their infant just passed away unexpectedly.

We'll be attending the visitation and funeral, as well as sending a card. What kind of token can we extend? Would it be strange or out of line if I sent the mom a gift certificate for a massage or pedicure and a note that she is on my mind and I hope she can take some time for herself? If that's odd, other ideas?

Also, I don't know what words to say at visitation. I'll offer my condolences and ask how her daughter is doing. Other advice?

Thanks for suggestions. It's an unimaginable situation I know other HBers have faced. I feel serious guilt for being emotional about this.

ETA: if determined the gift certificate is appropriate, I would send it in a week or two, not right away.