Hellobee Boards

I have a difficult enough time taking care of my 2 kids. I think adopting a child with HIV would stress me out too much (the child getting hurt, etc). Stress aside, not sure we'd be willing to take on the financial burden. I'm not sure what needs a HIV pos person has, but from my limited knowledge I know they have to take a lot of medication, lots of visits to the doctor..?

I would consider it if I didn't and wouldn't have any other children in the home. I think a child with such serious health needs would require my full attention. Plus I would be terrified for any other children in the home anytime there was a tiny knee scrape or something like that.

@anonysquire: I absolutely would. I worked at a special needs camp for several summers (each week was a different illness or disability) and one of our weeks was always dedicated to kids with HIV. I was a bit nervous at first - I didn't know what to expect - but once the kids got there, it blew me away how 'normal' they were (I hate using that word, but not sure how else to describe it).

Besides for taking medication, we didn't really have to modify their day at all unless they had other underlying medical issues separate from their HIV. You really wouldn't know that these kids had HIV unless you looked at the pills they had to take each day or their medical charts. That's my experience, anyway, and I would adopt a child with HIV, especially if it was their only medical issue.

ETA: That being said, I live in Canada where health insurance is universal. If I lived in a country where I might *not* be able to insure my HIV child, I might be hesitant as the medication alone would be quite costly, as well as any medical treatments that might arise without insurance. I'd be nervous that we wouldn't be able to financially provide them what they needed to live long, healthy lives that are possible these days with the medical advancements.

This is a great article: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/jennifer-fulwiler/8-surprising-facts-about-adopting-hiv-kids

These 3 reasons (copied and pasted from that article) are why I would:

2. Children with HIV who have access to good medical care usually have normal life expectancies
HIV is no longer considered a terminal illness, and is thought of by the medical community more as a chronic condition like Type I diabetes. According to the National Institute of Health, the life expectancy of HIV-positive people who have access to medical care is about the same as non-infected people.

3. There has never been a case of someone contracting HIV through normal household contact
You cannot get HIV from sharing food and drinks or using the same bed or toilet as an HIV-positive person. You also can’t contract it from changing diapers, hugging, kissing, or from bathing or swimming with someone who’s infected with the virus.

4. Modern drug therapies can render the HIV virus almost undetectable
My friend who is the mother of two HIV-positive children tells me, “On average, only one week after beginning HAART (highly active antiretroviral therapy), 90% of all HIV in the body is gone; within one month, 99% is gone.” Related to the above, this also makes the disease much less likely to be transmitted, even in cases of blood contact.

I think I would. We checked it off as something we would consider on our application for our second adoption. I would just have to make sure we were fully educated on alllllll aspects of the care and any lifestyle changes required.

We absolutely would (we've talked about it at length) if we had the financial ability to sustain all the increased costs of medication and care.

I have carefully researched this, and I know the differences in raising HIV+ kids (although there aren't as many as most people think), but I think our family can handle those.
I'm more concerned about being able to provide financially for them.

If in the future we can afford it, we will seriously consider adopting HIV+ kids.

I think I would. It is not the child's fault they have HIV and I don't think they should be devalued because of it. Just my opinion l, though. I definitely see both sides of the situation

@allison: why?

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It's not the child's fault they have HIV, and the fact that that would be THE determining factor for so many people looking to adopt is just sad, to me. I agree that it would be a difficult decision to make, but that just sucks for the kid.

@Happygal: I don't have a lot of detailed knowledge, but I'd at least want to see that a school knows how to handle intolerance and welcomes parental input and involvement. It would be important to me that my child never be made to feel like less of a person.

ETA: Obviously I'd want the school to have a nurse 5 days a week...so many schools don't anymore!

I'm would have to do a lot more research. I know that the medical costs have decreased over the last several years & that with proper care and medication regiment, the child can live a very happy "normal" life. I have no problem emotionally adopting a child with special needs, no matter what those needs are, its the financial burden that might come with it.

ETA: DH would be against it. He doesn't want to burden any other children with a special needs sibling. I'm sure that story would change if we ever had a bio special needs child. His fear is that the other children would miss out because of all the attention being places on the child with more needs.

I don't think that we would.

I honestly don't know. I can't say I'd jump at the chance, but we've also never considered adoption either.

I would consider it if I did enough research. I would have to make sure I had enough saved up just in case there are any unexpected medical issues come up.

I don't know if I would seek it out, but if we started the adoption process and fell in love with a child with HIV, we would entertain the idea.

HIV would not be a deal breaker for me in the way that autism or fetal alcohol syndrome would be.

@ladybee: My personal experience with people who have autistic family members makes it something I wouldn't choose, if I had the choice. If I had an autistic child, I would certainly rise to the occasion, but it would not be my choice. HIV feels less overwhelmingly difficult, to me.

I am far more pro adoption than SO.
If I had the money and time to take care of a special needs child, i would. hiv positive is not something I would seek out, nor a deal breaker for me.
I would be more open to it if I was living in a country with universal healthcare.

I wouldn't. Don't think I have it in me to take care of a special needs child. if I had a bio kid w special needs, I would do what I have to do, but I wouldn't choose to have special needs child.

@anonysquire: oh my gosh. I was JUST thinking about this today. I saw a Facebook post about how an agency was looking for homestudy ready families to adopt a 4 yo HIV positive girl. I don't know much about HIV, but I would have to read a lot, and discuss it a lot with Mr. I don't know if it is something I could deal with, so I definitely want to look into to more. I won't say no now, but I also can't say yes.

If we had the financial means to do so, I absolutely would. Unfortunately, knowing how expensive the medications and physician visits would be, I just don't see it being an option for us. If we were going to adopt a child with special needs (HIV or anything else), I would want to know ahead of time that we would always be able to provide all the care they would require. We are simply not in a position to do that, though, sadly.

@grizz: Yes please! I'd love to get more information for future reference from someone who really knows what they are talking about.