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2 weeks, then 6-- unless you end up having a c-section then I'd say 4 and 4.

So both my boys were absolute terrors the second month of life (like weeks 3-8 were basically a blur, with the worst being weeks 6-8). So, if it were me, I would have done something like:

DH home 1 week after the baby is born for bonding.
DH home weeks 6-8 concurrent with you.

As to the remaining 4 weeks, I would try to use them in a way to help ease YOUR transition back to work. For instance, have him stay home with the baby the first 2 weeks after you go back to work, then have the baby start going to daycare the last 2 weeks of DH's leave so that HE can deal with the dropoff drama (all the tears). Perhaps the baby can go for a few hours at a time at first to ease the transition, or DH can help get the kinks sorted out in terms of what is needed every day, or he can deal with the screaming overtired baby at pick up (because they probably wont nap great at first), etc. Either way, if he can carry the brunt of the actual transition of baby to daycare, I think it will help you focus on being back at work and not being so stressed about it.

But that's just me!

what we are doing is taking 1 week with both off, 6 weeks of just me, then 12 weeks of us both part time. We can do this because we don't get mat/pat leave and our employers are fine with it. They prefer it because our absences are felt less. For my mental health it is way better for me to go back fairly early, but there's no way I can do full time right way.

For both of our kids DH got 6 weeks of paternity leave and he did it concurrently with my leave. I honestly can't imagine doing it any other way. Two weeks of having DH around seems like such a little amount of time.

By having so much time we were able to have lots of bonding time as a family. And LO1 was a terrible sleeper at first so the only way I got any sleep was that at 7am DH would get up with DS and I'd sleep until 10 or 11, and that would be my longest stretch. If he'd gone back after 2 weeks I would've been a disaster. For our 2nd baby he was so sad when he had to go back to work. He felt like we were finally getting to a stage where he could help more (she was very nursing/mommy centric) and she was becoming more interactive.

The other consideration we had is that it was a lot easier for him to take time off in one chunk. It would've been much harder to try to take it in multiple chunks.

Two weeks, especially if you have to have a c-section, will FLY by. I would strongly encourage you to have him stay home for 4. Those first weeks with our LO were just a great bonding time for us with our baby and with each other as parents. My DH was only home for 2 and I was fine for him to go back to work but I would have loved for him to have been able to extend that time. Then it will be amazing for him to get some time to be on his own and figure out his way with your baby too.

If for some reason he can’t split up his leave I’d take it concurrently.

I don’t think starting daycare at 16 vs 18 weeks would be enough of a difference to warrant a 2/6 week split.

2 weeks at the birth, the rest after you go back to work. This is closet to what we're doing, though my DH has more leave to play with (he's taking 4 weeks vacation right after the birth, then will begin his 3-month paternity leave after I return to work when DS will be 6 months old). We like having most of the leave be concurrent so we can hold off a while longer before DS will have to begin daycare.

If we were doing this again, I'd ask DH to take off one week tops at the start, and whatever he can get later. We don't like the idea of leaving a very young baby alone with a nanny in theory - would do it if we found someone we trusted, but that's not easy! So we tried to care for the kids ourselves till they were old enough for day care, and the best way to maximize our leave was to take turns.

We did get a bit of good luck when my oldest was born - DH's office was badly damaged in a natural disaster, and he was allowed to work from home for two months. Just as well, because I had a rough recovery and struggled just to get through the day. But with the younger one, I was feeling much better, and we decided he didn't need to take any time off at the start. He took all of his leave once I went back to work.

I negotiated a 6 month maternity leave. My husband took the first week off, then took the other 5 weeks of his leave during my son’s 5th month. We would have pushed it to after I went back but he had to take his before 6 months passed. My gf who had her husband take a month of full time care after she went back made him a much more 100% partner because he truely felt like a parent and not a back up parent, if that makes sense.

So my husband was able to take up to 12 weeks when we had our daughter. The plan was to take the first 4 weeks with me and then 8 when I returned to work. BUT he was let go from his job 3 weeks after returning from the first 4. I really hope this doesn't happen to you.

@Veggie: I completely understand! We knew my husband taking his whole leave was a risk to losing his job (not immediately, but eventually) but he was actively looking to leave so we decided to have him take all of it anyway even though it wasn’t “done”. He needed up finding and accepting a new job about a year later. I’m sorry that happened to you guys, how stressful!

@Mama Bird: I hear you. My husband was actively looking/ applying/ interviewing for over two years before he found where he is now and it is like night and day. I’m glad it eventually worked out for you guys too!

I voted 2 weeks right away and 6 weeks later, because I think this would maximize bonding. I think those first few weeks are important for bonding, and I also think some time as the sole caregiver is important for bonding, and to both be comfortable as equal parents. I did not have PPD/PPA, I was unusually happy postpartum, and I felt fine physically by 2 weeks postpartum.