How do you answer questions about when you're having a baby/another baby when you've had a loss?
We're getting questions about this more and more lately (maybe bc lo just turned 2?), and I'm finding it so awkward! I feel like I'm answering differently based on different people, so like:
-friends of dh's that I'm not that close to: they asked if we were "thinking" of having another soon, and I said yes but didn't elaborate. I felt like telling them about the loss would make them feel awkward, but then I felt like I was hiding our loss, which made me feel like it didn't happen, and made me feel horrible all over again.
-one of my graduate school professors-- I just laughed (he was asking in a joking way) and said "we're trying!" and didn't say more. it was at a end-of-semester reception so small talk-y, and I def wouldn't tell him more anyway!
-very close friends, and I told them that we were trying but had had a loss.
On one hand, it's private. On the other, it makes me feel like I'm dismissing my loss if I don't mention it, and like i'm prioritizing their feelings over my need for support (though the 2nd situation didn't make me feel like that--that was a professional situation and those details would be too much anyway--he shouldn't have asked, haha). It feels like I'm hiding it, and I don't want to be adding to the stigma.
So, what do you do?