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I probably would have handled those situations in a similar way. Luckily, I don't get the question too often. The last time I was asked, I was actually already pregnant but only about 5 weeks, and I didn't want to share it. I just mentioned we were trying but had a history of loss. My friend responded by telling me about how long her TTC journey had been (they almost had to try IVF but got lucky). So we had a good chat and I wouldn't have known about her difficulties if I hadn't said anything about my own.

For people who are not friends, I usually just say something vague and let it go. I don't think it's dismissing my losses if I keep them semi-private. As it is, no one from DH's family even knows that I am pregnant now because if we lose this one, I don't want to have to tell them. They have reacted weirdly to our previous losses and frankly, I don't want to deal with it again because it just adds to my pain. I did tell my own family though, because in the past, they have handled the losses better. I think it really comes down to who you want to know about your history. After 3 losses, I know who will support me and who will just get weird. I'm not necessarily hiding my losses, I'm just choosing whom to share them with.

@nana87: I think as long as your DH is ok with it, it's perfectly ok to not tell your MIL if you think it won't help either you or her or your DH. In our case, I actually have a great relationship with my MIL but because she historically doesn't deal with my losses well, DH is ok keeping her in the dark.

I used to say "soon, I hope". I thought that struck a good balance between a terse reply, honesty, and a reminder that sometimes it isn't up to us.

Our last loss was a late term one, so thankfully people in our lives haven't been asking about our plans to try again. And those who are really close know what I'm going through to try to make that happen.

For really rude strangers that try to give us advice on how we have kids, I asked DH after our first loss to please step up and handle those. He pretty firmly will say something like "It's just not always that easy" or something along those lines. Meanwhile I just throw daggers at them mentally.

In between 1 and 2, I would always say, "We hope to someday." If they press, I'll follow up with, "It's not always as easy as it seems." That usually will get them to back off without feeling too awkward.

ETA: There was a guy who rudely replied to that with a, "sure it is...or don't you know how to have fun?" I shot back at him that miscarriages aren't exactly fun." When you're an asshole, expect me to be an asshole back to you.

This is the worst question possible when you've dealt with a miscarriage. I'm pretty private so I wasn't willing to talk about the loss but you might feel differently. When people asked, I just kind of played it off by saying "when we're ready" and left it that. I stayed as vague as possible.

I would just answer with 'whenever it happens'. for me, the whole reason why I would share any loss news wasn't because I was being dismissive, but because I wanted support and comfort for how hard it is. Majority of the time I ended up feeling worse because people sometimes don't know how to react and I would feel more disappointed then if I didn't say anything. Or, maybe some people I did tell, later would forget and say something insensitive. So, I never really would tell anyone except people I would specifically talk about my loss with.

So tough. In the midst of our struggles, especially if I had an alcohol in my system, I would say "No idea, we're just having fun practicing right now."

I think it's pretty normal to give different answers based on the audience. I'm very candid about our losses when talking to friends we are close with. Or if it's just one other woman I might mention it. But if it's a professional acquaintance or one of my husbands friends that might feel weird. For my MIL I say "never" just to shut her up (and a little out of spite).

Like @MaryM: said, sometimes DH or I say "it's not always up to us" or "it's not always that easy" or "yes we plan to but things don't always go as planned".
Sometimes I want to say "that's a very personal question". But would never have the balls unless it's someone I really dislike.

*to clarify we had 2 losses before our son was conceived via IVF/PGD, I haven't had one since he was born. Now that he's 20 months we are getting asked when we're having another. So our answer before DS was framed around our losses and our answers now are framed around IVF/PGD and that uncertainty.

I'm always frank to most people about having had losses. But I've always been very open about it. I don't get all weird about it - I just say "Well we've had some losses so it's hard to say." That usually works for 99% of the population.