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@yellowbeach: I'm so sorry. I have been there, though not quite as tough of a situation as yours (just an MC/ D&C at 12 weeks). I so hoped I would be pregnant by the due date but I was not really even close (had gone to an RE who gave me a dire outlook) and it was devastating. I would say no to the PJs bc even on a good day that can be depressing ! Stay busy and do something you love. I redid my room- painted an accent wall and got some cute things at Homegoods. It really eased the blow for some reason to be so busy. I hugged my son and cried a little (lot). (I also posted about it on FB and got a lot of support that way but that is certainly not for everyone).

I agree keeping busy! I like the idea above or planning a fun outing with your daughter. When I was not pregnant again after our d&c last year, I thought about it a lot leading up but found that anticipation worse than the actual day. It’s a tough road

Every year on our late son’s birthday and anniversary of his death we make sure to spend the day with at least one fun activity. We’ve brought the kids to the zoo, done indoor skydiving (without the kids), went to lunch and shopping, etc.
you are right that whatever you choose to do is ok, but most girls I know that have lost babies few better about celebrating them than doing nothing.