I would love any advice or commiserating that anyone could offer. My mom has a tendency to put blame for her emotions on others and at the holidays it certainly is worse than at other times of the year. I wind up feeling guilty and like I am not doing enough the entire time I am back at her home for the holidays.

My dad passed away a little over a year ago and all my brother and I love far away, one sister lives close by but has her own set of issues and my other sister has been away at college. We are all feeling tons of pressure to keep the holidays light and happy and to have then somehow live up to some crazy ideal in my mom's head. She seems to think Christmas should look like a Norman Rockwell painting and hates when things go awry.

Certainly party of her stress is financial. She works long hours and barely makes ends meet so when things are quiet and calm and she sits down to look around it highlights all of the problems she has right now. She just becomes a loose cannon, she usually goes on a yelling rampage and then storms up to her room only to stay there the rest of the day. She almost seems confused about what to tell about now that we don't live at home and therefore aren't responsible for cleaning the house etc. Now it is more likely to be about things like how I must like my in-laws better because they have more money (a low blow in very few words because she is suggesting I care more about money than people, that they are less worthy of Christmas visits since they could visit other times etc.)

Sorry this is such a novel, right now I am sitting at my in-laws dreading driving to my mom's. Often I go over there only to find out she is planning to take a nap and read a book or something and miss out on other things or we just sit around watching TV. I am worried about what meltdowns she it's going to have this week and I hate that I am made to feel guilty about spending time with my husband's family, for living far away and for just having an easier life.