I have been in touch with a woman who is a social worker for the foster care system. I am trying to get a post done for this month and she is helping me out. Are there any questions anyone might want answered in a blog post about foster care?
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My main curiosity is what kind of family/couple can foster? I feel like I would never apply because we aren't "perfect" if that makes sense.
Do you have to have a spotless home, and tons of money? Curious what the standards are! -
I would be interested to hear why the families she works with chose fostering over adopting and how they get started. Also, does she see a lot of families with foster and biological children, and if so, how do the biological children adjust to their foster siblings? Are there classes or other preparations parents of biological children can do to prepare the whole family for fostering?
ETA: I reworded my questions since I read the original post wrong. Thanks, @travelingnanny: !
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@cmomma17- It is SUPER easy to become a foster parent! Any man, woman, single or married can get certified as long as they are over 18. You have to take classes, pass a background check, take a TB test, and they need to come look at your home. As long as you pass the background check then you will be in the clear!
No you do not need to have a spotless home. The foster family that I worked for had 7 kids, 3 huge dogs, and a bunch of other animals....the house was never even close to spotless ; ) No you do not need to have a ton of money either. You just can't live on the foster care stipends. Not that you really could because they are never much money.
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@honeybee- I don't think the case worker has foster children of her own. Since she is a case worker that is considered conflict of interest. At least I've never heard of a case working being able to also be a foster parent. Maybe I'm wrong.
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Opinion on birth order and fostering? We're considering it for the future, but want to wait until our kids are older. We would foster children younger than our youngest. To us, that seems to make the most sense/have the potential to be the most harmonious.
What foster parent support is there for public fostering vs. fostering through a private agency?
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Do the foster parents know where their child is? Could they come to your house? I worry about our safety and would hate to have to deal with the parents, especially criminals/addicts.
Can you specify an age range? I would be happy to foster under three's but I would again worry slightly that older kids could hurt my LO. -
How does adoption through fostering work? Do many families use fostering as a route to adoption and is it successful?
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@Honeybee: fostering as a path to adoption is a lot less expensive
My parents were foster parents
It's a selfless job for sure.
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@Weagle: same question!
@stine_ciro: I think it varies state to state (but obviously the expert will answer hopefully!)
We are very interested in fostering to adopt (which is an option currently in the state we live) but after talking to some folks who work in social services, have decided to wait until bio-kid(s) are older. I'd love to hear more about making this decision. I'd also be interested in hearing more about coping with letting a child go back to be reunited with their family. I know my husband really struggles with reunification being the main goal, and how we would cope with that.
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@junebugmama: Hmmmm, I guess I am most interested in why fostering over direct adoption, public or private. Fostering does open doors to adoption, but there are more direct paths, so I'm wondering what the benefits are (especially with the drawbacks of potentially returning the child to his/her parents). I actually only know a few families who have fostered, and all of them either adopted children in the system who were legally free for adoption (and therefore didn't have to be fostered first) or they stopped fostering after only a few years because the emotional work was too much. I don't know a lot of personal stories about choosing fostering (especially if the end goal is adoption) so i'd love to hear more!
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I am actually really interested in being a short term foster parent down the road a bit...is that even a thing? I would love to be the one they call at the last minute for placement...but that only keeps kids for a short time (months, not years).
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My husband and I have both worked with numerous foster families and children in the foster care system. My biggest questions are about integrating foster kids into your biological family unit. We are planning to foster in the future, but wanted to wait until our biological children were older. I'd love to read about how to prepare/talk to kids about fostering, and how to help them manage all the difficulties that it can bring (kids returning to their families, behavioral difficulties, etc.). Also, from her perspective, what would be an ideal age to wait for bio kids to hit before thinking about fostering?
I'm aware that often its older children who need foster homes, but I'm not sure that would be best for our family. We would be looking more at fostering toddler/pre-school aged children for a few reasons. At least until our biological kids are out of the house- at that point I might be able to talk my husband into fostering some older children (probably up to middle school age). -
Any additional criteria for fostering in city? Space- does kid need his/her own bedroom or can they share with another kid? School - do they only consider foster parents within the same zone? Do you give history of the kid's bio parents and any previous guardians what happened if they came from another foster care?
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Thank you much for your questions. I will try my best to get them all answered.
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Another question if it's not too late;
What does it really mean to be a foster parent. What is the average length of time? How do you pay for the extra child expenses? Could a double working parent household foster (would they cover daycare costs)? Lastly, what extra requirements do you need to plan for the child ( extra dr apts, court dates, Etc)?
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@Mrs. Train: I think the blog post went up for this correct? Can you link to it? The blog search sucks and it doesn't come up.
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@T.H.O.U.: here's the link:
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/11/26/adopting-through-the-foster-care-system/
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@T.H.O.U.: Wow you are really going through very old posts!
Just because I like being helpful I think these are the posts you are looking for
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/11/12/celebrating-our-adoption-day/
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/11/26/adopting-through-the-foster-care-system/http://www.hellobee.com/2013/11/06/national-adoption-week-series-part-1-why-we-decided-to-adopt/
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/11/14/national-adoption-month-series-part-2-type-of-adoption/
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/11/20/national-adoption-month-part-3-the-cost-of-our-adoptions/
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/12/02/national-adoption-month-part-4-what-would-we-change/
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/12/09/national-adoption-month-part-5-adoption-etiquette-and-how-we-handle-awkward-situations/ -
@mrbee: thanks!!
It's a selfless job for sure.
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