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We don't do any sleep training methods and I agree, that article is very off-putting. I don't think it's fair or factual--every family does what works for them. I have friends that CIO and friends that don't and they are all wonderful parents who love the heck out of their children.
I don't believe in CIO for my child. We tried it a couple of times and her cries go from 3 to 10 and keep rising higher and higher. 15 minutes was what we agreed we were comfortable on and then we both agreed we weren't even comfortable with that.
We co-sleep, initially we used the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper but she grew out of that and is in bed with us now. She sleeps from 8/8:30 p.m. to 7/8 a.m. with one or two wake ups to nurse. Lately it's been down to one wake up at night.
We do eventually want to move her to her crib (still in our room) and then move her to her room but we don't have a time frame.
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@mrsjazz: She only wakes up oince at night while in your bed? Amazing!
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@plantains: @meredithNYC: sorry if the article totally put you off. I was just posting it for information and not saying this is the reason why you shouldn't sleep train.
I think when people think of sleep train we automatically think of CIO. For me I'm having some issue with putting LO down drowsy but sleepy. We have a set routine and it works for us, but she does not know how to self sooth herself. She will rub her face and whine then the whine will go to a cry then full blown hysterics. I feel bad for her and dont know what to do. when she does this I pick her up and put the paci in her mouth and she will fall right asleep. sometimes it takes a little longer.
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@plantains: Yeah, she used to wake up 3-4 times a night--which was how she ended up in our bed because I'd fall asleep and forget to put her back in the co-sleeper. For the past week she's only woken up once around 3 a.m.--we're hoping it sticks.
She sleeps better next to one of us. It might bite us in the ass in the long run but it works for us for now!
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I never did for either of my girls (now 6 and 1 year). The oldest bed-shared with me until age 2.5 all night, then starting at 2.5 I would go in with her at her first night waking (usually around 2-3am) and sleep in her bed with her until she woke in the morning. Now at age 6 she falls asleep and stays asleep by herself in her own bed all night. She will come into our room first thing in the morning to say good morning, but she has never come in during the night to lay with us or sleep with us. She is a wonderfully independent sleeper and it was done with no CIO, no sleep training whatsoever, and in what felt to us like a very natural progression. We plan to do the same with this little one, but not necessarily on the same time-table. We'll just follow her cues. I would just say do what works, but add that if you think that some time not too far down the road you are going to want/need a change, it doesn't hurt to start preparing for that or heading in that direction.
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@bunnylove08: I know you didn't mean it from a bad place, after all you didn't write it. I understand wanting to share information, but honestly, that article isn't informative it is incendiary. It makes all kinds of claims and assumptions without backing it up with anything and labels those who choose to sleep train as bad parents.
Then I went to the front page of the blog and read this:
http://www.alternative-mama.com/a-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby/and it made my blood boil. It remided me of people who picket abortion clinics. Ugh.
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@mrsjazz: i'm a big fan of doing what works for your family! If I let DD sleep in bed with us, my husband would most certainly roll on top of her.
The extra cuddle time must be nice too!
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@mrsjazz: how old is your LO? my 8.5mo old sleeps with us and the past few nights is now only waking once to nurse and the rest of the time just wants to snuggle. We were at 3-4 wakeups too!
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@littlebittyhouse: She's 11 months old. I used to nurse her every time she woke up but I stopped and started just cuddling her because I knew she didn't need to nurse all those times.
When she's teething or sick I basically do not sleep!
@plantains: That letter is crazy. I don't understand why people have to be so judgmental--the world would be a much better place if people checked their judgments at the door. My hubby doesn't roll over but he does have these weird muscle spasms so I sleep with one arm around LO or on my husband so that I can feel him moving. I've got it down to a science.
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@littlebittyhouse: @mrsjazz: your success stories make me feel like there is some hope that DD will only wake up once a night.
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@Monkula: Thank you for posting this!
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@bunnylove08: I agree with @plantains in that I'm not upset about you posting the article, but I think the author is/was way out of line.
And again, even though I personally do practice sleep training and occasional CIO, if I saw a pro-sleep training article that spoke in such an off-putting way about parents who choose not to sleep train, I would also be angry about it. It's just so unfair to take a blanket approach to these things, as in, "this is the way I do things, so it's obviously the best way and everyone else is wrong". Again, I know it wasn't your intention to offend, but man, that lady angered me and made me happy that Hellobee is such a kinder and more inclusive community than a lot of others.
I also saw that "letter from a sleep trained baby" and nearly lost it. I guess it's safe to say that I should stay away from that site for the benefit of my blood pressure
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We didn't do any CIO with my son and he ended up sleeping fine. We did a modified CIO (let her cry for 10 minutes, then soothe, then 5 minutes, then soothe) with my DD and she also ended up sleeping fine. So I'm 100% in agreement that it depends on the baby. My son would've been heartbroken if we did CIO on him. Whereas my DD needs to cry a little bit before going to bed to "unwind".
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We ddint sleep train. Ds fell into his sttn groove on his own.
He was a typical nb then mth 2-3 wokeup.1-3x to nurse... at 11 wks I randomly swaddle weaned cold turkey by 12 wks he was sttn 7-7. He is 18 wks now n sleeps 7- 630 most nights
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We didn't do CIO and hope that we never have to, (although we're not opposed to trying it if things get intolerably bad). We did "train" them by only soothing them in their crib and not picking them up unless they were absolutely hysterical. We're also not opposed to letting them fuss for a minute or two before we go in.
Once they realized they weren't getting any big reward from crying, they learned to lay quietly in their cribs. From there, they have learned (and are still learning, really), to self-soothe to sleep.
Looong process. Haaaard process. But worth it.
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