We are headed out on our first plane ride with our very squirmy 15 month old, who I KNOW will not deal well with being held (she doesn't have her own seat). I'm contemplating baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies to pass around to our neighbors in an attempt to say "sorry for my screaming kid." I've seen some other online posts of people doing this, but have any of YOU ever actually done it? How'd it go?
Anyone ever give out "sorry for my screaming kid" goodies to your seat neighbors on an airplane
Aug 22, 2013You might also enjoy...
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No, but we'll do it when we (probably) fly out to my brother's wedding next summer (E will be 22 months). I was thinking earplugs, something sweet, maybe something salty...maybe a little bag of trail mix.
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No, but I thought about handing out ear plugs and mini bottles of liquor to everyone around us.....
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I was going to buy drinks for the people around me (they were all men) but it turns out they were ALL dads to youngins, so were quite understanding.
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No. I don't really get this trend. When you take public transportation you run the risk of hearing a screaming kid. I don't think there's anything for the parents to apologize for as long as they are doing their best to control the situation.
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@MamaMoose: I didn't get it either, but the way my grandma explained to me, especially the older generation believes you shouldn't fly with a child you can't control. Flying used to be a high class thing people did. You dressed up and everything. On one hand, times have changed and it's public transportation like you said. Not sure I totally buy in to that but it's one perspective.
On the other hand, it is really really irritating to be in close quarters with a screaming child, and not be able to get away.
So what I did when I flew with my 2 month old, is I just brought a pack of ear plugs. I figured if she shrieked the whole time I could offer them to the person next to us. Thankfully, she was OK. (Not great, but OK.) If anything, telling the person i have ear plugs in case they need them was a good ice breaker, as I'm sure that person was thrilled to have paid extra for a 'comfort' seat with more leg room, only to be seated next to a very awake infant!
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@BabyBoecksMom: LOL!!!!
I was on a flight with screaming 18 month old twins. Tons of fun. The parents offered to buy people drinks...it was a 13 hour flight, lol.
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I'll eat anything homemade someone offers me, but I think bagged candy- peanut m&ms
- would go over better. While I think this is cute to do, I would still be annoyed with a loud baby and still wouldn't want to help entertain a restless baby.
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Ehhh, I think it's an acknowledgment that your kid is in the wrong/doesn't deserve to be there. On longer flights, we always bought a seat so if anyone said anything or gave me the stinkeye, I would respond that my son is a full fare customer just like them. It shuts people up fast.
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@looch: Ooh, like your response!
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I will say that on one of our flights, my kid wasn't making any noise yet this couple got on, sat across the aisle and started staring daggers at me and her. I felt embarrassed/bad until they whipped out these big subway sandwiches covered in onions and peppers and smelly salad dressing. That is JUST AS DISRUPTIVE in my opinion. Especially since some people get motion/air sick (me, if I don't take dramamine, for example!).
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@LazyLightning: I like that idea. I think I'll bring some for when we fly with our 8 month old in March. If nothing else, it's a goodwill gesture that I'm sure is appreciated.
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I wish they had a family section on at least some flights. I would pay extra for that. Or maybe vice versa, a non baby section? I read somewhere that some Asian airlines were thinking about implementing that. I've thought about providing courtesy gift bags to our neighbors but never ended up doing it. I've grown a thick skin in regards to the looks or comments I may get. Thankfully, it has never been too bad. Most people we've encountered were very nice about the situation. Some are even more than willing to entertain your child for a little bit. And recently, when I do look around, most people are listening to something on their phones or watching tv so they're already tuned out from the get go.
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I'm interested in how this turns out too. We're flying a red eye cross country at Xmas time and I was considering getting a goodie bag for the seats around us. Probably because I'm so scared of how the kiddo will do. But Looch makes a good point. He'll be 14 months but we're still buying LO a seat so he is a full paying passenger.
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i think it would be nice to do if you think your LO might cry a fair amt
i wouldn't do homemade baked goods, though -- people are wary of that because they don't know where they are from perhaps give out disposable earplugs + a few small sealed candies from the store? like halloween sized air sealed etc.
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I'd much prefer someone buying a drink if things go south than a bag of candy and earplugs I wouldn't use.
I also think handing something out ahead of time might make people grumpy and just waiting for the crying to start. And who knows, your child might surprise you and be an easy traveler!
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I offered to buy drinks if he cried during the flight. He didn't! Thanks for not costing me $$ B!
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After flying multiple times with my little guy, I have changed my take on this. I used to be super apologetic if he did anything, but honestly you and your kid have every bit as much of a right to be there as the people next to you.
Most people I have sat next to have been totally cool about the whole thing. Those that weren't (extremely rare!)- well F them! They can ask to be moved, like one particularly delightful woman we had the pleasure of sitting next to recently.
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I wouldn't. I figure my kid has just as much right to be there as anyone else. If they hate kids that much, they don't have to take public transport. As long as I'm doing what I can to make sure LO is not disruptive, they can deal with it!
Also, don't most airlines have their own earplugs to give to passengers who ask?
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We've flown with LO a number of times and we never bothered, nor will we on upcoming flights. We try our best to keep LO happy and settled, but sometimes she cries, because you know what? That's what babies do. If I have to put up with loud, obnoxious passengers, drunk passengers, people with body odor, and people who encroach on my space (either due to size or lack of awareness/consideration), then others can put up with the occasional fussing my LO might do.
Now what I find unacceptable is when a child or baby is upset and the parents do nothing to try to settle the child. That I think is rude and deserves rude looks. When a baby is crying though and I see the parents doing everything they can, I usually give them a sympathetic look or a reassuring smile because I know what a long way that can go.
LO has flown more than 60 hours already (she's 14 months old), including two 14 hr flights, a 10 hr, and an 8 hr flight. Fortunately, we have encountered nothing but friendly, understanding people. I think the vast majority of people are understanding, and to those who aren't? Well, I'm in no mind to try and appease them. Babies cry, it's a fact of life. Don't like it? use earplugs or pay for a first class tickets (infants are generally not allowed in first class).
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@Ree723: yes, absolutely, 100% to everything in your first paragraph. Especially putting up with people with body odor. I don't care if its not your culture to wear deodorant, people have to sit behind you on an airplane in close quarters. Same with sitting next to overweight people who don't fit in one seat. At least my baby is cute
Yeah, I think those little bags are just another case of, "just because you saw it on Pinterest, doesn't mean you have to do it."
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@MamaMoose: I'm with you-- I don't get this trend, either. And I wouldn't eat anything a stranger handed me on a plane.
I would, however, buy drinks if/when LO becomes irritating to others around her... but I wouldn't come on board with a pack of goodies to hand out. I'm carrying 4 bags as it is; I don't have any room for cookies and earplugs.
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@Ree723: I haven't flown yet but this is how I feel! I never want to be that mom with screaming babies but that is life!
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I offered my seat mates a drink on me. They all declined.
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I agree with several of you that I have endured all kinds of annoyances on flights.....drunk passengers hitting on me, smelly food, men who like to spread their legs and take up all the space....so I guess I don't feel too bad about a fussy baby. I'm just dreading the looks and sighs and possible comments.
Thankfully our flight is only an hour, but DD is a squirmy, wiggly, curious 15 month old who does not like being held. We are in the front bulkhead row so at least she wont be kicking on seats in front of us. Maybe we'll offer to buy drinks for those around us if she's being really disruptive.
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@BabyBoecksMom: lol!
Nope-we will never do this! You paid for the seat and you are allowed to bring your child to sit with you. They are on a flight, what do they expect?
Packing a bunch of strangers some snacks because my child is being...a child...is probably the last thing i'd have time for if we were travelling! -
I did. On her first flight, I brought little bags with a note, two Ghiradelli chocolate squares and a pair of earplugs. The second time I just brought earplugs, and by the third time I felt confident in her travel abilities and didn't bother. I only gave them to the person who couldn't recline their seat (because of her carseat) and the person in our aisle who had her flailing into their seat while nursing. Everyone seemed really grateful, and I ate the leftover chocolates
I know I have a right to be there, but it felt like a preemptive goodwill strike, and it never hurts to be courteous.
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No, i didnt. I flew with her to and from St Louis to London. On our flight back to London! I was seated behind a very cranky, rude gentleman who wanted to glare at me the whole time. Thankfully, C was an angel and slept the whole flight and the stewardess told him to leave me alone.
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@MamaMoose: I COMPLETELY agree. While it is definitely a nice gesture, taking a baby/kid on a flight is just a fact of life. I have had wonderful flights with DS and completely awful ones. It's just the luck of the draw.
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Although I think it's a really sweet and considerate gesture, and I would appreciate it myself, I would never actually do it. Packing my own things in my handbag for easy access is enough of a hassle, there's no way I'd have the time and space to pack a few grab bags for strangers.
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I have been thinking about this very thing as we are facing down the barrel of 5 flights in the next month with our 7 month old (including 2 transatlantic!) In particular I am concerned about the transatlantic ones but you ladies have made me much less worried about it - you are so right, so what if he cries ? he's a baby and I have put up with a lot from other passengers over the years! we will do our best of course and hopefully he sleeps but no bulk buying of snack m&ms for strangers for me now!
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I wouldn't do it - mainly because if I were on the receiving end, I wouldn't eat cookies that someone I don't know made lol. I've had food poisoning too many times.
On every flight that I have ever been on, there's always been a screaming child or baby near me and I just expect that it's part of being out in public.
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i think if things really start to get haywire i would offer to buy drinks, but i wouldn't preemptively hand things out.
in terms of ear plugs, i noticed on my recent flight that almost EVERYONE wears headphones/earphones to watch movies/ipads so i would probably not bring the earplugs because i don't want to get stuck with a bunch of leftover earplugs.
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@BeachMama: I think for an hour flight it's fine.
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I think you'll be fine for an hour. There's so much to look at and see on a plane. When we fly we try and let her run around before hand. I know some people with kids like to get on first, we like to be one of the last to minimize how much time she needs to sit still. On one flight that was 7 hours she got a little fussy/squirmy at one point, not full out crying just really was tired of sitting still and the flight attendant brought her over ice cream, which made everything better. Other strategies for not wanting to sit still are to take a long trip to the tiny bathroom. If someone says hi to her on the way there we stop and say hi and let her smile at them and tell a story or they tell her a story. Usually there's one baby obsessed person in a seat nearby that tries to engage her and we're all about that for good distraction. And lots of stickers and games.
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so interesting reading this! we are taking LO on a JHB-London flight when she'll be 6weeks - eeek. Been wondering about doing bags of ear plugs etc or just leaving it. good to read the for and against
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Even though it's a nice gesture, I probably wouldn't hand anything out. You are going to encounter crying babies in public anyway, even on places like the subway/bus where you can't get away from it. It's part of being out in public.
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We'll probably be flying for Thanksgiving. I do not plan to take treats or anything like that. If D is really terrible, maybe we'll offer to buy people immediately surrounding us drinks. The way I see it, passing out treats or earplugs is an admission that my kid is a pain in the ass, be prepared. I don't really think my kid is a pain in the ass. But if I were on a flight with a kid that was acting up, I'd rather have a free drink than a little bag of Skittles. Give me the booze! So IF D is an issue, we'll do that. But we're not going to set ourselves up for people to expect to hate us.
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Nope. As pp's have said, babies cry. I do my best but I don't have a magical "stop crying" wand. My flight was delayed 8 hours once with DD. luckily she did great but it could have really disturbed her schedule and sleep. We had already been flying for 6 hours on a red eye and had another 6 hour flight ahead of us so I try not to judge. Parents are tired. Babies are tired. It happens.
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@bunnymommy: Six weeks will be easy peasy to travel with a baby, especially if you are BF'ing! At that age, all they do is eat, sleep, and poop, so dealing with a potential blowout will be your biggest worry! I loved traveling with my infant before she was mobile...seriously, it's so easy. Now once they are mobile, it's a whole different story!
- would go over better. 
I also think handing something out ahead of time might make people grumpy and just waiting for the crying to start. And who knows, your child might surprise you and be an easy traveler!
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