I would like to create a place for my toddler (almost 3) to have a place to go to calm down. For me this is different than time out which I'm opposed to. How do I start instituting this?
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@munchkin: I really like the school-based work of Becky Bailey called Conscious Discipline. I think her "safe place" principles can easily be applied in the home! There is information on her website and safe place things you can google but I found the short video below for reference. I also think I've seen people post safe place/calm down places on Pinterest so check there!
Also, check out Dan Siegel - The Whole Brain Child and No Drama Discipline for similar theoretical parenting approaches. He would not suggest time outs. His work may help you determine what is appropriate developmentally for your kiddo/what may work in a calm down area.
Karyn Purvis' The Connected Child has great ideas as well (she uses the Time In method which you can google). Her work is geared towards adoption/foster children but in my work as a child therapist I find her ideas to be great for all families!
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@ldh112: wealth of info, thanks!
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@Munchkin: I will add another link to your wall!
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My LO's calm down spot is her bed and she reads books until she's calm. It really works for her!
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we have a "calm down" chair in our formal living room. it's not really timeout, but we send him there if he's getting upset about something or whiney or just not listening.
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How about a soft chair or a corner with some pillows. You could make a glitter bottle and put a few books and a soft toy there. Then you just have a simple conversation with LO. Like: Sometimes you have big feelings and need a safe place to calm down. This is a cozy place for you. You may shake the bottle, hug the stuffed animal, focus on the books, or just sit and feel your feelings. When you are calm you may get up. The next time Mama says it is time to calm down I will expect you to stay here in your cozy spot until you are calm and ready to talk/listen/follow directions.
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6 comments