We are preparing to host our first exchange student in just a couple of weeks! Has anyone else done this before? Any tips/advice for us?
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Similar but not the same but we've been using an au pair for a few months now. Our relationship is different since they are providing childcare for us but it is an exchange program since they are from a different country.
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@Bao: Yes, it was for a little over a week and before I had LO. Normally they are placed in families but I was the director and we were short one family so an international freshman stayed with me and my roommates. DH (who was just my bf at the time) went out with us a lot. Anyway:
Find out food preferences or aversions.
Ask if there is anything they were hoping to do?
Give a house tour.
Find out their interests so that you can match an activity or two to what they would like.
Make a schedule with a fun activities and check out their opinions. I highly recommend karaoke. They can read words to easy songs they might know (kid friendly if you take LO) but in english.
They may be interested in seeing what church is like even if they don't go to to church bc it is also a cultural experience. You could even check if a mega church offers language translation (via earphones) at a service.
Go to touristy, age appropriate places but check stamina and interest if a longer visit.
Other than that, give them some downtime- 1-2 hrs a day to just hang out and process due to culture shock. -
@808love: she will be with us a year!
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@Bao: How cool is that? Did you find a reputable company you like?
For a year, I would establish a relationship with the parents before coming. Build trust and find out any tips beforehand. -
@808love: it's a company our school district uses, seems great so far!
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My understanding is that they receive health insurance, so I would try to find out beforehand where they can be treated if the need arises. If they are a minor, I would ask if they need some kind of POA from an attorney, or if you assume those responsibilities.
Also, find out about banking. Do they have or need a bank account, how are they expected to transact if they want to purchase something?
I totally plan to do something like this when my son is a bit older...it's just too much right now with the both of us working full time and going to school in another town.
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@Bao: We've done it twice, although only for a week each time.
Where is your exchange student coming from? Is their English good? We found it helpful to write down anything important. Definitely ask about food preferences, but also pay attention. Our first was too polite to tell us she didn't like sweet breakfast foods until almost the end. Everything is a cultural experience - ours have loved going to the grocery, church, etc. Also, if your exchange student is a teenage girl, Claires and Bath and Body Works were the most exciting things ever for ours.
Bowling, ice skating, seeing snow, seeing a movie in the theater, and making homemade pizza were also huge hits for both our Central American exchange students.
And on more thing, from my experience studying abroad - make sure they feel free to go hang out in their room alone when they want. I was so tired of trying to speak the foreign language every evening that I desperately wanted to just be alone for a bit.
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If they need to learn English, giving them lots of low stress experiences to practice would be good. Maybe with younger kids or something? When I lived in spain, I had few chances to practice my Spanish and this distressed me.
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My friend hosted an exchange student for a semester a couple years ago. Based on her experience here are some things I think you should prepare for:
Do what you can to familiarize yourself with the culture of your exchange student. Maybe learn some basic words in her language. Teach yourself to cook a favorite meal, etc. I'm sure that being away from her family for a year will lead to some homesickness so find ways to help her feel comfortable.
What will your policy be for friendships your student makes? Allowing her friends in your home, allowing her to visit her friends in other host family's homes?
Will she be in high school? If so you'll want some rules around curfew, boys, etc.
Make a list of places you want to be sure she sees during her time (and ask for her input on what's important to her!). And come up with a plan of how and when you'll see those things. Also, account for the costs. You don't want your exchange students stuck in the house all the time so you want to get out and do a lot of fun things. But doing fun things costs money. Even if the exchange student is paying their own way, you'll need to pay for your family to participate in more outings than you probably normally do. Plus, increased utility costs, gas costs to get the exchange student where she needs to be, etc. I think my friend was surprised by the financial component. -
No experience, but that sounds exciting! Good luck!
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This may be obvious but take him/her with you to go to the bank, grocery store or dentist. Familiar places with new languages can be so interesting. Have a barbeque. Incorporate homemade "American" foods like chili, hamburgers, pancakes, mac and cheese, cereal and chicken nuggets with plenty of familiar fruit/vegetables! If you can get him/her a similar age friend playdate or permission for few hours at the school at a local school to eat lunch or participate in a lesson that would be great.
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Explain what to do in an emergency. Be explicit about what situations require 911 and then what would happen next. Also some countries use a different #! I think some use 999 instead.
I would also give her a card to put in her wallet of your home address, your cell #s and if her English isn't great, maybe a short explanation for a first responder about who she is.
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Yes! My family use to do this all the time. It was a lot of fun. You will love it. Every time we did it was a different experience every time. They really like to do fun things, so like take them around and teach them about our culture. What are some questions that you have? I may be able to answer and help you out.
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@808love: she will be going to school here full time
she will be a Sophomore in high school.
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@sunny: good tip! @Thompson.J: I'll let you know if I think of anything specific, thank you!
Thanks all, very helpful advice!
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My family growing up hosted multiple foreign exchange students during my high school years and after I graduated. It was definitely fun and interesting, and also a learning experience.
I would read up on whatever country/culture she is from and also try to find out her personal background/lifestyle. Several of the foreign exchange students we had were raised in affluent households and had always had had a maid. Most were totally down to help clean, do their own laundry, dishes, etc but another (who was also from a culture where women are generally expected to do the vast majority of the household duties) definitely did not expect to have to clean up after himself. My mom set him straight, but he just didn’t even *think* about cleaning up because it was literally something he had never had to do before, so even though he made an effort and wasn’t being a dick about it, it was stressful and hard to have someone like that in your home.
Food is a big one, especially if there are any religious or cultural preferences. Make sure she understands the US rules/ages on smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. Just try to keep in mind that what seems obvious to Americans isn’t always obvious to other cultures.
Agree with others about the financial aspect and planning lots of outings and activities. Our parents made an effort to show the students our area (not just the town/city, but the region, helping them explore). It was definitely a financial commitment and you don’t want to end up singling them out every time you are in line to have them pay separately because that's just uncomfortable all around. We had a ton of fun while we had students living with us – in large part because we got to do so many activities with them. We definitely tried to show them what “typical American life” is like!
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I haven't done this, but my sister did, and it was a wonderful experience for her. My suggestion is to educate yourself not only about their culture, but about the variances in American culture. It's important to be able to explain that the way you do things isn't the way EVERYONE does things here.
For example, maybe you are a SAHM but others go to work. Maybe you hire people to do your yard work, but others do it themselves. Maybe you celebrate Christmas but others celebrate Hanukkah. Even small things like you prioritize family dinners, but others eat dinner in front of the television.
It's especially important to try to present both sides from an unbiased view. It would be a shame for them to walk away from the experience thinking all Americans were just like you. One of the best parts about America is our diversity!
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I've had a number of exchange students in my classroom and English proficiency varies widely but school district language services aren't offered to exchange students.
Google translate can be really useful. It's not perfect but it's a helpful tool for school work.
I teach English and there is one host mom I work with a lot. She likes to get the students a copy of the texts we read in their native language so they can refer to it when needed. I don't know if all teachers would access this, but I liked it and it helped the kids keep up and complete assignments.
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@Bao: I'm curious why you guys decided to do this? I think it's a really interesting idea but I can't see doing it until my kids are a lot older.
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@ShootingStar: Something that I've always been interested in doing! Didn't plan to do it so soon but the district really needed families to host.
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I was a foreign exchange student in high school for a year and have been actively helping train students to go abroad in high school for a year since I have been back as well.
There are some good ideas, but my advice is to not be overwhelmed by trying to do stuff to keep them entertained, taking special trips etc. One of the things we stress in the program I work with is that these kids are not going to these foreign countries to vacation, they are going to study! They have a responsibility to try in school and to learn the language and culture. They will be just as entertained going to the grocery store, or attending a local festival vs. going on a trip to Disneyland. Usually once school starts students make quite a bit of friends and participate in clubs and other activities that will keep them pretty occupied anyways. The time when they first arrive until school starts can be a bit slow though so if there is some idle time maybe take them to see some local attractions, festivals etc.?
Although I was able to do some traveling during my year and see some amazing sights, some of my most treasured memories are learning to cook with my host mom and the conversations we had while I would be helping her do chores, as well as spending time with my friends at school. I'm sure the student you are hosting will be tired to the first few days they arrive as they will be jet lagged and trying to get settled in so don't feel like you have to plan every hour of every day. Give them time to settle in and adjust to the time change.
In the first few days I would concentrate on making sure they have everything they need (toiletries, school supplies etc.). Also making sure they are settling into your family's routine.
Is there anyone around you with kids who will be attending the same school the student you are hosting? If so maybe have them meet so they will know a familiar face on the first day of school. Also if there are any sports or clubs they are interested in joining maybe try to contact someone at the school (since many sports activities meet during the summer before the school year starts too) this will also give them a chance to meet some of their classmates ahead of time. Going and looking around the school to find their classes also might be a good idea.
I'm not sure what program your student is in but for all of the students through the program I help with we use this "First Night Questionnaire" ( http://yeoresources.org/first_night_questions.htm ) to help students communicate with their host families things that we might not thing about like "What chores am I responsible for?" " Where should I keep dirty clothes" " etc. This may be something helpful to go over with the student and its available in a variety of languages.
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I was an exchange student in high school, and I've been involved with high school exchange programs as a student/host family liasion for the past five years--at this point I think I've seen it all!
@Matcha Latte: gave some great advice. Establish expectations early, don't try to overwhelm the student with *too* many activities, as they are primarily there to do well in school. However, the time before the school year starts is a great time to get in some bonding--I'd encourage you to visit state/county fairs (get some deep-fried oreos!!), go to local festivals, visit a waterpark, or anything like that.
Make sure that you are clear about what chores the student will be responsible for (and make sure that you give her some!). She is not a guest, but rather another member of the family, and should have a few responsibilities. Unloading the dishwasher, cleaning her bedroom/bathroom, and taking out the trash are easy ones. Also, show her how things work (dishwasher, vacuum, washer/dryer) and where the cleaning supplies are. Many of these kids have never done these things before, or if they have the appliance may work differently. You'll save yourselves a world of headaches if from the start you say "this is what you use to clean a toilet. spray it around the bowl and use this brush to scrub. Flush once and you're done." Second nature to us, but not to them!
Explain about tipping in restaurants and sales tax. These are things that are not common in other countries and cause a lot of confusion for foreign students!
It may be a little awkward for both your family and the student at first, but you will quickly settle in and find a routine that works for you. It sounds like your district has a good support system in place--don't be afraid to reach out if you need something!
Honestly, it might be sooner than you anticipated, but student thrive in families with young children! Have fun!!
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@Matcha Latte: @MediaNaranja: thank you both so much. I was wondering how much activity wise I should be planning (and it was stressing me out) so this is good to know.
I didn't think much about chores either, keeping her room clean is a big one but not sure what else is appropriate outside of that. Something I'll have to think about before she arrives.
she will be a Sophomore in high school.
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