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I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to O really early. I usually get opks like this a day before a positive. Strange!
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@dominobee: My mom doesn't know about either of my pregnancies. She has no grandchildren but has desperately wanted them for a decade and would be completely crushed. She is also super, super anxious about things, and would be freaking out about what is wrong. To all appearances, all the women in our family are super fertile (my mom had no losses and got pregnant the first time she tried each time), and I know she would be freaking out that something must be horribly wrong. But I can't tell her after, because then she would be very upset that I hadn't told her earlier and was shutting her out of my life, especially with the one that ended at 10 weeks, because it's not like there wasn't time. I haven't seen her in person since Christmas, though.
it's hard. I wish there were more IRL people to talk with, but depending on the person it can make things harder for everyone involved.
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@mrskansas:
looks dark!
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@periwinklebee: I am with you - I wish there were more IRL people to talk to! I feel like with the 1 in 8 statistic I should know more...but nobody talks about it. My aunt did IVF with her 2 girls who are now 10 and 8 so that's something at least, but I wish I had one real friend who got it. My best friends are sympathetic and so so kind, but one ha a 2 year old and one hasn't started trying yet so it's different.
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@skiierchck99: I'm sorry, it can feel so isolating. Sometimes people's reactions - even normally nice people - can be pretty bad. I had one friend (who has a baby) ask why we hadn't started trying when we'd originally planned - because if we had surely I'd at least be visibly pregnant by now - and when I told her we had indeed started trying then, her response was "well, you obviously don't have much sex." Ugh, not funny. Other people can be really sympathetic, but if they've never had loss or infertility they don't necessarily know how to respond. I know that I didn't really understand what it is like before I went through it...
I really want someone IRL to give me a hug and say "I get it, it's going to be ok." I think part of my problem is that I work almost entirely with men and a bunch of my closest female friends haven't started trying yet, so while IF and loss are common, not many of the people I interact with are in the TTC pool (at least not from the female side...) But I'm sooo, sooo happy to have people here, otherwise I would feel really isolated.
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@periwinklebee: someone said that to you?!
That is SO rude and naive! I'm so sorry!
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@2littlepumpkins: yeah, seriously. It did inspire us to start a TTC inappropriate remark bingo on the poas thread, and there were some pretty bad (in some sense, ex post hilariously bad) remarks. In some people's minds, you have sex and get pregnant, so if you're not getting pregnant, you obviously must need some sex pointers...
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Ugh, I had fairly painful cramping early this morning for half an hour and I really thought I was going to start bleeding. But then it stopped and not even a bit of spotting.... AF approaching a week late...
With both my pregnancies, there was a very short time when we didn't have any bad news yet, with the remainder split between limbo and just waiting for it to be over. Obviously I'm really grateful that this experience has been much shorter than the last but am nevertheless over it already...
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@periwinklebee: Did you have another beta this morning?
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@mrskansas: yeah, just waiting... hopefully it will be going down!
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@periwinklebee: I hope so!
Waiting on bleeding is seriously the worst. Once it arrives it does alleviate some of the anxiety (at least for me), so hopefully AF shows up for you soon. -
@mrskansas: Thank you
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@periwinklebee: Ugh, I'm sorry sister. Hoping AF shows soon and you can get back to some semblence of normalcy.
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Only three more days until AF is due! I feel like this is the chillest I've been since we started TTC almost two years ago. It probably doesn't hurt that I've been super busy at work, exercising more, eating (mostly) healthy and panicking over deep cleaning my house since my parents are coming into town this weekend.
I've definitely replaced some of my TTC fixation with fitness fixation. I'm logging all my food and exercise and playing LOTS of mind games with myself, i.e. "If I ride my bike to work today I get to have a beer when I get home." I have lost about 4 pounds in the last 2 1/2 weeks which honestly has been kind of a shock to me! I'm on the 1 pound a week plan with MyFitnessPal so it's nice to know it's working and I'm even losing faster than I thought I would! I have never really tried losing weight before because I guess I thought I would have to give up every food I love and be super disciplined with exercise. But it hasn't been like that at all. In the last 2 1/2 weeks I have drank beer and eaten sweets, french fries, pizza, chili dogs and of course a whole lot of healthy food. I've also never straight "exercised" for more than half an hour at a time. Most activity has come from walking the dog, riding bikes, working in the yard and cleaning.
My goal is to lose 40 overall, to get back down to where I was before beer came into my life during my freshman year of college. But if I plateau and feel/look good then I'll be fine with that. I'm definitely more muscular than I was at 18 so I may never get back down to that weight.
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I start my Prometrium today. My OB/GYN recommended I use the OPKs when I take the Femara, so I assumed there won't be any ultrasound monitoring? I'll go with the flow here.
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@madisonbee: I've found only REs typically do monitoring.
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@bhbee: I thought so too! I'm hoping this is our cycle.
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@madisonbee: Yeah your OB won't monitor you. My RE doesn't even want to do ultrasounds for me since I'm not triggering or doing IUI.
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@dominobee: that's awesome it's working! I just got back on MyFitnessPal. If I can be consistent I do find small changes work (at least for a while). Not just eating less crap but also water, sleep, etc. I really miss when we lived in the city and I could get exercise just daily life walking around, pushing stroller running errands, walking home from work. So much nicer than working out.
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@madisonbee: fx for you!!!
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@mrskansas: I don't mind. It also saves us money, I suppose, with facility billing and physicians reading the radiology report.
@bhbee: thanks! I'm glad I have more control over this cycle
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@madisonbee: Yep, cheaper is good! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!
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@dominobee: yay focusing on yourself and less on TTC I really hope thread-starters luck holds for another month
@madisonbee: good luck on femera Don't be surprised if your induced period is heavier or has more cramping. My period after I induced it lasted a few days longer and had more heavy days then usual. -
@snarkybiochemist: Ah no shit!!! I'm hoping the universe will be like "Oh you're trying to lose weight, well here's another person to live inside you for 9 months to make that impossible."
@bhbee: Thanks! And I feel you on living in a city that is easy to walk/bike around. I used to live in Berkeley, CA which is very conducive to being active. I didn't even have a car for the 7 years I lived there. Now I live in Pittsburgh which is very hilly and very much a car city, plus I live on top of a hill.
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@dominobee: I really hope the universe hears you
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@madisonbee:
@dominobee: Almost there! Also hope you have a great weekend with your parents...
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hcg is down to 15 - glad it is falling like it should...
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@periwinklebee: Good to hear, but again, sorry for the emotional rollercoaster lately. Really hoping for a sticky baby for you soon.
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@dominobee: Thanks
Feeling really down about TTC now but there's not really anything to do besides to keep trying...
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@periwinklebee: glad to hear this but also very sorry you're having to deal with all of this
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@bushelandapeck: Thank you!
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@periwinklebee: Yup, I feel you on that one. I'm trying not to be, but I'm gonna be really, really disappointed if AF shows again this month.
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@dominobee: I think it's really inspiring that you can stay so hopeful. I will be thinking of you the next few days and really hoping that things work out!
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@dominobee: Fingers crossed for you girl!
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@periwinklebee: Aw thanks. I certainly don't feel very inspired/inspiring.
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@mrskansas: Thanks
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@snarkybiochemist: ooooh interesting! thanks for the heads up.
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@madisonbee: yea I always find it helpful to be prepared, I was on CD 58 when my period finally came so my body had lots of extra time to build a lining up
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@snarkybiochemist: holy moly.
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@madisonbee: eh its better then the cycle before that where I waited for my body to do its own thing that was a 95 day cycle
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