grapefruit / 4466 posts
@bhbee: @mrskansas: Thank you guys, you make me feel better I have a hard time not being paranoid about all the things that *could* be wrong and cause repeat loss (I don't want to do this again
), but I know that the most probable cause is just not catching a decent egg. My sense is that - at least on these boards - most people with a TTC experience similar to mine (i.e. trying for longer than normal, but regular cycles and able to get pregnant) ultimately got viably pregnant just by trying the old fashioned way until it worked. It is a bit unnerving to feel like this isn't going well while I edge closer and closer to AMA - and then not trying to "fix" anything - but maybe that's the best approach for the time being anyways since there is nothing obvious like irregular cycles to fix.
nectarine / 2813 posts
@periwinklebee: I do think it's just a matter of catching a good egg vs something else being wrong.
Between my ectopic, miscarriages and chemicals I've lost 5 pregnancies and nothing is technically "wrong" with me other than just not getting a good egg. My RE is confident if I just keep trying I will get pregnant and everything will be fine.
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
@periwinklebee: right, to me the only advantage to the testing is you'll be ready if you wanted to do medicated cycles. But trying in between won't likely put that off much if at all. My RE actually wanted us to do ivf when I lost two more trying for our second doing iui - the only guess he had post much testing is embryo quality (not eggs themselves necessarily) and ivf would help pick the best. And in MA it would have been covered (we were at MGH) but still a huge effort. And then what do you know, I got another viable one on my own when we moved and lost that chance. I always tried unless there was a clear medical reason not to. You never know when it will be the one!
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@mrskansas: sometimes I need to tell myself to take a deep breath and not assume the worst, which is hard because so far with TTC fears that things would go wrong have been correct.
In a typical woman under 35, only around one in three eggs are genetically normal. Then of course other stuff can go wrong - by chance fertilization could not work, or the egg could get fertilized by two sperm, or implant incorrectly or in the wrong place. So I'm sure if it so happens that when the good egg comes along, some other chance thing goes wrong, it's not that unlikely for it to take awhile... I need to keep reminding myself of this, rather than worrying I'll be one of those people for whom TTC never goes right...
nectarine / 2813 posts
@periwinklebee: As difficult as it is, I always tell myself "let your faith be bigger than your fear".
I've lived by that quote despite being truly terrified of being pregnant for fear of more heartache.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@bhbee: thank you - this is such a great and encouraging story!
It's interesting that there can be a difference between embryo quality versus egg quality...I feel like usually the assumption is that the egg is the problem...
nectarine / 2813 posts
@periwinklebee: One thing that you can take comfort in is that you are able to get pregnant. Despite having a genetically abnormal fetus, your body continued to do what it was supposed to do.
I'm obviously not an expert, but I think our situations are pretty similar and I know that we will have a viable pregnancy soon.
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
@mrskansas: I am going to start saying that quote to dh
@periwinklebee: I think his point in saying embryo quality was that there's a lot that can go wrong besides just being a bad egg to start, so don't feel like you're defective. I like that way of thinking because it's hard not to feel it's your fault when things go wrong.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@mrskansas: I am confident that things are going to work for you too.
I think my husband found the fact that I've gotten pregnant now a couple of times to be a really good sign - like we're much closer now than we were before, whereas I have felt really discouraged, especially this week. I'm so grateful for you guys, because I really needed someone to encourage me to take a more positive view. I've been down in particular the past couple of days and this is definitely helping me to feel better
pear / 1553 posts
@periwinklebee: Holy shit I didn't know that stat! I'm 34... at this point if I'm not pregnant this cycle I will be AMA or damn close to it by the time I give birth. My 35th birthday is at the end of January.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@dominobee: I'm 34 too, ughhh. from the impatient women's guide to getting pregnant (it says eggs but I think this actually comes from testing embryos):
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@dominobee: I know... the thought that might happen for us now feels like it is from another life. It will be worth waiting longer though once we finally have our amazing little ones! (repeating that to myself...)
pear / 1553 posts
@periwinklebee: Seriously. We started trying when we were both 32, and thought we'd have plenty of time to have at least one kid. Now the fact that I'm creeping up on AMA is just crazy.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@dominobee: The 35 cut-off is kind of b.s. anyway. I am super hopeful that you will get your kiddos eventually, but I'm so sorry that the TTC journey had to be so long
pear / 1677 posts
Good lord. Is it just me or is Prometrium making me feel like I got hit by a bus, set on fire, and thrown off a cliff? The last couple days I've felt like hell.
pear / 1677 posts
@periwinklebee: I know how rough this has been for you. Please know we are along for the ride with you and you're never alone.
pear / 1677 posts
@dominobee: Whether you have your own baby or go the foster/adoption route, you'll be one heck of a mama!
nectarine / 2180 posts
@Mrs. Oreo: the provera I took to get my period knocked me down, I felt awful for 10 days
grapefruit / 4455 posts
@periwinklebee: 2 months, wow. That seems shorter than I would have guessed. I was younger than 26 last time and it took us 7 cycles of good timing and total closer to maybe 16-18 months of no bc. We suspected it might have been due to GI illness/weight loss after the first few cycles but otherwise I was healthy, having pretty regular periods, etc.
As for us, my schedule changed and I have been home during what should have been fertile days, but I don't know when I ovulate and I really would be pretty surprised to end up pregnant this month. But I guess anything is possible.
pear / 1677 posts
@snarkybiochemist: oh man.
It's mainly given me headaches and nausea (sucks when I'm at work!) and definitely mood swings. DH said something completely benign last night and I lost my shit. He waited until this morning to make contact with this beast and gave me a hug, no words, and I left for work. I'm so looking forward to the next week....
nectarine / 2180 posts
@Mrs. Oreo: sorry to be the bearer of bad news, I just wanted to sleep all the time and I got a lot of headaches if I remember.
pear / 1677 posts
Shit, you guys. We're going out for drinks tonight so just for kicks, POAS with super diluted pee. Left it in the bathroom, changed my top, and came back to this.
I've been tricked before with these cheapie evaps. But now I can't drink tonight because I don't have any pee left!!!!!
kiwi / 680 posts
@periwinklebee: Ugh I remember reading the impatient woman's guide to getting pregnant and seeing that chart! I think it's funny that at 27 it was 31.6% but then you get to 28 and it goes up to 36.1%. What?! It also just makes me go to a dark place where I think we must not be getting pregnant because all of my eggs are probably shitty, even at 27 =[ because according to this chart I should have gotten pregnant after 2 months, and everything is definitely normal according to the RE.
pear / 1677 posts
@mrskansas: @2littlepumpkins: son of a bitch. Lol. We're about to have dinner and drinks with friends...like pulling up to a spot. I was really looking forward to a drink!
nectarine / 2813 posts
@Mrs. Oreo: do not pee and get a test on your way home!! Cannot wait to see it
grapefruit / 4455 posts
@Mrs. Oreo: haha! So excited, I'm living vicariously through you.
pear / 1677 posts
@mrskansas: @2littlepumpkins: omg you guys, I'm gonna try and hold until tomorrow morning and do another one. I hope it's legit
clementine / 874 posts
@Mrs. Oreo: Dude! I didn't even have to squint!!! So many good thoughts for you!!!
clementine / 874 posts
@periwinklebee: Awwww...hugs. My husband was the same way because we knew that we could get pregnant easily but I had a hard time with that (what's the point if you don't stay pregnant?) Anyway, one thing that helped me was knowing that my losses were so different than each other so it didn't seem to indicate anything but two terrible flukes. This sucks so bad and the limbo is the worst of it but I really, truly believe that you are closer to your rainbow baby than you think.
pear / 1677 posts
@mrskansas: I'm so terrified to test in the morning!
@Coral: I'm trying to pretend I'm not the one who posted the pic! I always see everyone else's squinters, so I'm in MAJOR denial.
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